Archive for August 2006

Write-Offs: 08.31.06

$$$Because your Ken Lay Lives tighty-whities have seen better days: Lucy Gao boxers. [Cafe Press]
$$$Mecca, as you know it: The Money Shirt. (Settle down, spaz, there’ll be no strokes on our watch). [Clay’s Place]
$$$Manic-depressive, pessimist banking loser seeks petite 25-35 year old equally bitter, maladjusted borderline nymph for comiseration, “good” times. And we totally call dibs. (Don’t even act like you’re not just as turned on as we are by this, people). [Craigslist]

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  • 31 Aug 2006 at 4:11 PM
  • Summer

After the boys (and girls) of summer have gone

citigroupinterns.jpg
We’re awash in photos of the summer classes of London banks. To the left you see Lucy Gao’s fellow Citigroup interns, and after the jump we’ve got the Goldman 2006 summer class. No one, however, has seen fit to send us any group shots of summer interns from out home town of New York City. This is an injustice that will not be tolerated. Only you can set things right by emailing us your photos. (And have no fear—we protect the identity of our sources with even more tenacity than Robert effin Novak.)

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  • 31 Aug 2006 at 3:58 PM
  • Lucy Gao

Lucy Gao: Now Even Bloggier!

LucyGaoandtwootherchicks.jpgNow you can have all your Lucy Gao in one spot. That’s right. Someone’s gone out and started a blog dedicated to our Lucy. It’s mostly stuff you’ve seen around here before but if you’re just joining us for the Gao story, you can catch up on things over there.
Or you can feast yourself on DealBreaker’s own dedicated Lucy Gao archive.

Lucy Gao Blog
[Blogspot]

  • 31 Aug 2006 at 3:10 PM
  • hotties

DealBreaker Hotties: Bond Traders!

Following in the footsteps of our little brother blog Above the Law, DealBreaker is embarking on a very, very important investigative assignment—we’re out to find the hottest bond trader in America!
There was a time not long ago when bond traders ruled the roost. They were the BSDs. They spat caviar, munched cigars, and ate more for lunch than you ate in a week. You might not have actually wanted to be a bond trader but at least once a week you wanted to live like one. Well, we’re bringing those days back.
So what qualifies as a hottie bond trader? To be honest, we’re not sure. That’s where you come in. We want to know what the modern day bond trader looks like. Are the bulge bracket bond boys still boasting belt breaking belly bulges? Or is the aesthetic slim and trim? We’ll find out when you email us with your nominations for bond trader hotties.
To nominate a bond trader, here’s what we need you to email us (subject line: Bond Trader Hottie):
(1) the nominee’s name, title (e.g., vice president or director), and where they work;
(2) a decent-sized, reasonably high-quality, digital photograph of the nominee (ideally a face pic); and
(3) a testimonial, in which you sing the praises of your favorite hottie and explain why he or she deserves to be crowned America’s hottest bond trader.
Well, you’ve got the ground rules. Time to get to work. Send us your nominations. The contest runs from this very moment until, uhm, whenever we decide that this thing has gone on for long enough.
Oh, and feel free to nominate yourself. And to everyone seeking the title of America’s Hottest Bond Trader—Good Luck!

Naked Shorting Conspiracy Debunked

crying-boy.jpg
We hope nobody shows the folks all worked up about the alleged naked shorting conspiracy the Depository Trust and Clearing Corp’s recent statement , which we came across over on Gary Weiss’s blog. The anti-naked shorting Don Quixote’s are endlessly entertaining—reading their bulletin boards makes us laugh the same way we laugh when we watch little kids trip over their shoe laces—and it would be a real loss to have them encounter such a decisive debunking of their world view.

More Baloney Debunking
[Gary-Weiss.Com]

  • 31 Aug 2006 at 2:04 PM
  • The Fed

The Jekyll Island Election?

benbern.jpgWhen we were in college, a competing student paper ran into trouble paying its bills. Our paper, which was notorious for its outlandishly reactionary viewpoint, offered to financially bail out the other if it would modify its editorial policy in certain ways, including supporting a ban on fractional reserve banking and the abolition of the Federal Reserve. These fond memories were brought back this afternoon when we read Peter Cohan’s item speculating that the Fed may be playing politics with interest rates.

Many polls indicate that the Republican party is unpopular and that Democrats are therefore likely to make gains in November. How do interest rates figure into the election in November? With consumer credit card borrowing at near record levels of $2.2 trillion in June and 26.8% of mortgages in adjustable rates, each time the Fed raises rates, it puts the squeeze on millions of voters who are already paying close to $3 a gallon to drive to work.
So if the Fed raises rates, it turns up the anger boil against the party in power. If the Fed can hold off raising rates until after the election, it will take away a bit of potential pain from voters who might be making up their mind about whether to keep incumbents in power. Meanwhile, the 7% increase in labor costs translates into more money in the pockets of these potential voters.


Is election pressure keeping the Fed from controlling inflation?
[BloggingStocks]

It’s Been A Very Long Year For Carolyn Kepcher.

Carolyn kepcher2.jpgThis is going to sound mean so let’s get right down to business. This morning when we linked to the New York Post’s story about Donald Trump firing Carolyn Kepcher, we included an excerpt indicating her age was thirty-six.
And when we re-read it after a few more cups of coffee, we thought, “Woah. She’s been Donald Trump’s assistant forever. How young was she when she started? Could she really be only thirty-six?”
Well, maybe. Our Googling in depth research has uncovered a wikipedia article claiming she was born in 1968. Which would mean she first turned thirty-six in 2004, and has apparently been the same age ever since.

  • 31 Aug 2006 at 12:07 PM
  • Ask Brock

Ask Brock Fantasia: Meet Brock

brockfant.jpg[Editor’s Note: It has been suggested that we need an advice columnist for DealBreaker, so we went out an found one. Meet Brock Fantasia.]
Brock Fantasia is the only remaining person in the JPMorgan analyst class of 2002 to still work at JPMorgan, which is in no way testament to the work environment at JPMorgan. In fact, Brock likes to think of himself as the Highlander of his analyst class, wielding an indestructible claymore of corporate finance.
After “totally wrecking” (in his own words) the Analyst-to-Associate program in the M&A group, Brock was briefly moved to the Natural Resources group, due to increased deal flow in the M&A group. Brock graduated from the prestigious University of Pennsylvania Wharton with a degree in Finance and is working in investment banking until he can find a buy-side job. Brock has been interviewing for buy-side jobs throughout the past 3 years and has not been a “good fit” anywhere, despite his ever-burgeoning skill-set.
[Editor’s P.S.,- Some of this is true. But only some of it. Send your questions to : brock AT dealbreaker DOT com]
Hi, it’s me, Brock here, with my advice for this week.
How many of you have been in this situation? You’re the go-to guy on a project. You know this because your staffer told you that this project could go “live” at any moment, including weekends. This makes working Friday night fun, because you know that after the client sees that page of tombstones you prepared dating back from 1999, they might realize that they’re dealing with an institution that has been the co-advisor on more $50-$100mm second lien loans to media companies in Europe than all but 4 other banks. Who do you think they’ll sign up with? If you said the 4 other banks in front of us, you must not work here, because if you did you’d realize that you can’t fight the JPMentum! (More after the jump…)

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