August 2006

  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 08.31.06

    $$$Because your Ken Lay Lives tighty-whities have seen better days: Lucy Gao boxers. [Cafe Press] $$$Mecca, as you know it: The Money Shirt. (Settle down, spaz, there’ll be no strokes on our watch). [Clay’s Place] $$$Manic-depressive, pessimist banking loser seeks petite 25-35 year old equally bitter, maladjusted borderline nymph for comiseration, “good” times. And we […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 5:00 PM
  • Summer

    After the boys (and girls) of summer have gone

    We’re awash in photos of the summer classes of London banks. To the left you see Lucy Gao’s fellow Citigroup interns, and after the jump we’ve got the Goldman 2006 summer class. No one, however, has seen fit to send us any group shots of summer interns from out home town of New York City. […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 4:11 PM
  • Lucy Gao

    Lucy Gao: Now Even Bloggier!

    Now you can have all your Lucy Gao in one spot. That’s right. Someone’s gone out and started a blog dedicated to our Lucy. It’s mostly stuff you’ve seen around here before but if you’re just joining us for the Gao story, you can catch up on things over there. Or you can feast yourself […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 3:58 PM
  • hotties

    DealBreaker Hotties: Bond Traders!

    Following in the footsteps of our little brother blog Above the Law, DealBreaker is embarking on a very, very important investigative assignment—we’re out to find the hottest bond trader in America! There was a time not long ago when bond traders ruled the roost. They were the BSDs. They spat caviar, munched cigars, and ate […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 3:10 PM
  • Naked Shorting

    Naked Shorting Conspiracy Debunked

    We hope nobody shows the folks all worked up about the alleged naked shorting conspiracy the Depository Trust and Clearing Corp’s recent statement , which we came across over on Gary Weiss’s blog. The anti-naked shorting Don Quixote’s are endlessly entertaining—reading their bulletin boards makes us laugh the same way we laugh when we watch […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 2:38 PM
  • The Fed

    The Jekyll Island Election?

    When we were in college, a competing student paper ran into trouble paying its bills. Our paper, which was notorious for its outlandishly reactionary viewpoint, offered to financially bail out the other if it would modify its editorial policy in certain ways, including supporting a ban on fractional reserve banking and the abolition of the […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 2:04 PM
  • Donald Trump

    It’s Been A Very Long Year For Carolyn Kepcher.

    This is going to sound mean so let’s get right down to business. This morning when we linked to the New York Post’s story about Donald Trump firing Carolyn Kepcher, we included an excerpt indicating her age was thirty-six. And when we re-read it after a few more cups of coffee, we thought, “Woah. She’s […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 12:48 PM
  • Ask Brock

    Ask Brock Fantasia: Meet Brock

    [Editor’s Note: It has been suggested that we need an advice columnist for DealBreaker, so we went out an found one. Meet Brock Fantasia.] Brock Fantasia is the only remaining person in the JPMorgan analyst class of 2002 to still work at JPMorgan, which is in no way testament to the work environment at JPMorgan. […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 12:07 PM
  • Royals

    The Last Princess

    It was just about twelve years ago that we met Princess Tatiana Von Metternich. We had been having drinks with an old Irish drunk in a part of France that was more German than French and the topic of discussion was how to avoid having to do anything that might resemble working for a living. […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 12:01 PM
  • admin

    DealBreaker for Lawyers

    As everyone knows, the most miserable people on any deal are not the analysts. They’re not the interns. They’re not even the people who bind and clip 1,289 ever-expanding pitchbooks that no one will read. The most miserable people on any deal are the lawyers. (DealBreaker editor/ex-M&A lawyer John Carney will confirm.) And mostly because […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 9:54 AM
  • Donald Trump

    Who’s Fired Now, Bitch?

    We never really got the point of “The Apprentice.” If you win you get to manage a golf course or some building? So, like, you get to be a super? The guy we call when our sink starts spewing Hell Mouth? Sounds great. Oh, wait. What’s that? Good point. You also get to work for […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 9:44 AM
  • Warren Buffett

    Warren Buffett Gets Married

    So it seems that our gift wasn’t enough for Warren. Yesterday he decided to make an honest woman of long-time girl friend Astrid Menks. Of course, Warren didn’t spring for a nice ceremony—the whole affair took 15 minutes, was held at his daughter’s house and apparently no one was invited. Even worse—no honeymoon. Well done, […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 9:30 AM
  • Shorter Dealbook

    Dealbook, The Abridged Version (08.31.06)

    Crime/Fraud/Legal/Investigations/Inquiries: Greg Reyes pleads not guilty [backdating] As it turns out, lawyers are never guilty of anything [legal] NASD Hits American Funds With $5 Million Fine [For sale] R.R. Donnelley & Sons deal in trouble? [Buyout?] Two buyout firms team up to take Cheddar’s [Merger] What happens if you mix Coke and Clorox [CEO] SEC: […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 9:09 AM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 8.31.06

    California Pact Would Place Cap On Emissions (WSJ) Back in college, in a class on local politics, a professor once explained that as goes California, so goes the country. In other words, many state and local governments took their cues from California, when it came to passing and writing legislation. The state just has a […]

    / Aug 31, 2006 at 8:24 AM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 8.30.06

    $$$ Going Private calls out the man behind the Macintosh VC Kawasaki for not knowing how to count [Signum sine tinnitu] $$$ Some interesting one-liners from the Blog Maverick himself. And a shot from behind courtesy of your favorite PE professional [Wall Street Fighter] $$$ A pompous American investment banker prompts a nasty response from […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 5:25 PM
  • SOX

    Are SOX Compliance Costs Going Up or Down?

    Going Private chides us for saying that the costs of compliance with Sarbanes Oxley should be expected to decrease over time. We didn’t have any real data on this but figured that maintaining compliance should be easier than getting compliant. Not so, protests GP—the costs keep going up and the accountants keep getting wealthier. She […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 5:13 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    On Porn and Hedge Funds

    If Tom Cruise hasn’t had much luck attracting hedge fund money, maybe it’s because they’ve got their media portfolios filled up with porn. We’d heard that a couple of funds were making money with porn investing but news that a hedge fund actually wants to buy an provider of pay-per-view porn surprised us. Here’s MarketWatch: […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 3:54 PM
  • Warren Buffett

    Happy Birthday Warren Buffett

    Despite what many in the business media seem to believe, Warren Buffett did not spring fully formed from the mind of Zeus. He too was born of woman and today the old guy celebrates his 76th birthday. As a gift to him, for the rest of the day we’re not going to use phrases like […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 1:50 PM
  • Lucy Gao

    Wearing Your Lucy Gao

    Well that didn’t take long. It’s only been a few days since Lucy Gao’s email went global, and already she’s a t-shirt. There are more in the NYCBuzz store. Our favorite (pictured here) reads: “Lucy Gao kicked me out of the Ritz. (I arrived at 9.01 pm)” Lucy Gao T-Shirts [Cafe Press]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 1:35 PM
  • Standard & Poor's

    Coffee versus Credit Ratings

    We’ve got friends who argue that intellectual property protection in the US has gotten way out control—extended patents, lengthy copyrights, litigation without end. Most days we think the investment in innovation we get as a trade-off for these things make it worth it. Today isn’t one of those days. Today’s big financial news comes straight […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 1:16 PM
  • Polly Courtney

    Polly Courtney Take A Turn on The Pole

    We have to admit that we are starting to develop something of a crush on Polly Courtney. We haven’t read any of her book yet—there are five chapters available on her website—but we enjoyed her email lamenting Helen Green’s £800,000 win against Deutsche Bank. She’s not hard on the eyes. She’s smart—engineering at Cambridge and […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 12:29 PM
  • Telemarketing

    The End of Telephone Marketing

    Meanwhile, the Creative Bastard blog introduces us to the best solution to telemarketing we’ve ever encountered. It’s a looping audio track of a potential customer sounding very interested in the proposal. Almost makes us want to take ourselves off the Do Not Call list just so we can play this game too. Free Phone! [Creative […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 11:58 AM
  • banking culture

    The Best Job Interview Question Ever

    A post this morning on LongorShortCapital reminds us this morning of the best interview question we’ve ever heard. A friend of ours who managed a trading operation at a then-up-and-coming and now big time investment bank used to ask it regularly to kids who came through his door looking to get a start on Wall […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 11:04 AM
  • News

    Old School

    Bloomberg today profiles Al Gordon, 105, one of the few people still lingering around Wall Street who actually worked on the street during the crash of 1929. One of our favorite parts of the dialogue is a description of Gordon’s investment strategy. “Despite the fact that he’s an old man, he buys things not for […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 10:26 AM
  • Time Warner

    Will Time Warner Sell Time Inc?

    As Dan Gross points out, Time Warner seems pretty uninterested in making major investments or innovations in its magazine business. Maybe its planning on selling it off. Who would buy? Oh, we don’t know. Maybe the folks who just hired Time Inc’s editor-in-chief? And here’s a leading indicator. The Carlyle Group, the huge private-equity firm […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 9:32 AM
  • Shorter Dealbook

    Dealbook, The Abridged Version (08.30.06)

    Crime/Fraud/Legal/Investigations/Inquiries: Korean investigation into Lone Star Funds may delay sale of Kookmin Bank [legal] Google chief executive joins Apple board [legal] Home Depot adopts majority election for all directors [For sale] R.R. Donnelley & Sons deal in trouble? [Buyout?] Two buyout firms team up to take Cheddar’s [In-fighting] LIPO Debate [Private Equity] Energy deals keep […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 9:04 AM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 8.30.06

    A Forecast for a Fork in the Road (NYT) The Economic Cycle Research Institute has had a knack for calling tops in the business cycle, and accurately forecasting recessions. It saw the slump coming in the early 2000s, and the methodology it uses anticipated similar activity in the 80s and 90s recessions. At this point, […]

    / Aug 30, 2006 at 8:25 AM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 8.29.06

    $$$ More fall out from Lucy Gao and her highly (self) anticipated birthday bash. You started to feel bad for her, but then–no, wait, you never did [Leveraged Sell Out] $$$ The scientific method for whatever ailes you–such the difficulties posed to some in quantifying their gay-straight ratios [Craigslist] $$$ Tips on cleaning up for […]

    / Aug 29, 2006 at 5:27 PM

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