January 2007

  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 01.31.07

    $$$Shorting the Government, cont. [Long or Short Capital] $$$Can anything stop THE GOOGLE? [Business Wire Daily] $$$More Aleksey-related news. [New York Sun via Banker’s Ball] $$$Dentsply (XRAY) [WallStrip]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 5:28 PM
  • News

    Give Yourself More Time

    Returning to DealBreaker’s coverage of the nuclear pupil explosion of insightfulness that is the Yahoo! Personal Finance website, today we review Penelope Trunk’s latest column. According to Yahoo! Personal Finance, “The Brazen Careerist” Penelope Trunk, former marketing executive and professional beach volleyball player (Impossible really is nothing!), “writes counterintuitive but effective career advice for a […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 4:06 PM
  • News

    Businesses Still Dumb

    Returning to CNN’s list of the “Dumbest Moments in Business,” otherwise dominated by Wal-Mart, here is a clip that highlights some pretty obnoxious ways people have been laid off in the past year. It’s nice to see CNN completely stealing VH1’s “Best Week Ever”/’every other show it produces’ format. The sad thing is that the […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 2:36 PM
  • You're Killing Yourself! No Judgment. But You're Killing Yourself!

    One Smokin’ Update!

    March 30 will be the day Altria finally rids itself of the dead weight that is Kraft Foods Inc, Bloomberg reports. For every share of Altria, investors will get 0.7 share of Kraft. As we noted earlier this morning, this spin-off will allow the units to focus on separate interests, Oreos/Tang vs. cigarettes, while remaining […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 2:31 PM
  • News

    Jury Still Out on Schumer and Bloomberg’s Eiffel Towering of SarbOx, IPO Market

    The latest string of Schumer and Bloomberg refutations are out (even since the opening bell), concerning the dynamic duo’s alarmist report about the impending decline of NYC’s financial dominance due to SarbOx and precluded by mass IPO relocation. To summarize a couple recent responses: The New Yorker’s Financial Page argues that the IPO migration is […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 12:36 PM
  • Wall Street

    Bush Fawns Over Wall Street, Fucks Over Wall Streeters

    Bush’s “State of the Economy” speech is happening rightthissecond at Federal Hall on Wall Street. Unlike the State of the Union, the SE is not an annual party, but one delivered at the whim of the Commander in Chief, whenever he has a premonition that his numbers are bad enough that he needs to book […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 12:02 PM
  • News

    U.S. Economy – Schwing! Boeing!

    The first of the U.S. Commerce Department reports is out this morning; showing 2006 GDP growth in Q4 of 3.5%, up from 2% in Q3 and 3.2% in Q4 of 2005. This surpassed the consensus of economic experts by half a per cent. The other major highlight from the report is a dip in inflation […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 11:04 AM
  • News

    So Long and Thanks For All the Books

    Jeffrey Toobin’s New Yorker article sheds some light on Google’s semi-surreptitious book scanning efforts. Google plans to scan every book in the world (minimum 32 million) to create a comprehensive Google Book Search tool that would provide references and quotations to the volumes in its database. The Company has been scanning every book currently in […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 10:40 AM
  • Hedge Funds

    Senator Biden’s Son Is Sued (G.O.P.’s Hands Are Dirty)

    The son of Senator Joe Biden (who is quite charming, a great story-teller and has the perfect hair for a white house)*, R. Hunter Biden, a Washington lobbyist, is being sued by Anthony Lolito Jr. Lolito claims Biden (and his partner-uncle James) kept him out of the purchase of a hedge fund investment firm in […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 10:25 AM
  • You're Killing Yourself! No Judgment. But You're Killing Yourself!

    Wall Street Lights Up, Hopes Kids/Others Will Follow In Suit

    Not too long ago, Philip Morris changed its name to Altria in order to distance itself from those pesky little cancer sticks it did such a great job of selling—specifically, Marlboro brand cigarettes. But apparently it wasn’t the cigarettes that were the dead weight. Altria is spinning off its Krafts Foods division, which makes Oreos, […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 8:15 AM
  • Citi, Hollywood, Maria Bartiromo

    Do Hedge Funds Know How To Start a Trend or Do Hedge Funds Know How To Start A Trend?

    Following in Hollywood hedge fund operator Benjamin Waisbren and Co.’s (possibly failed) footsteps, Citigroup will be funding at least 45 movies over the next five years, in conjunction with the privately held Relativity Media. Ryan Kavanaugh, an executive at Relativity Media, brokered the deal, and previously worked with Deutsche Bank to finance 18 movies to […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 8:07 AM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 1.31.07

    Bristol-Myers hires banks for sale advice Everybody knows that it’s a bad idea to just reach into your parents’ medicine cabinet and mix their pharmaceuticals, unless you want to get high. Mixing pharmaceutical companies will probably lead to the same result, but it’s pretty dangerous. Although there’s nothing official yet in terms of a Bristol-Myers/Sanofi […]

    / Jan 31, 2007 at 8:06 AM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 01.30.07

    $$$Hedgie Milestones [WSJ] $$$Wharton girl looking for ibanker– preferably VPs+ and preferably bulge bracket firms. [Craigslist] $$$Wall Streeters Make Crain’s Under-40 List [DealBook]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 4:56 PM
  • News

    NYSE: Tokyo Drift

    The official alliance between the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) and the Tokyo Stock Exchange (TSE) may be announced tomorrow on January 31. Then again, it may not. Who knows? Certainly not the Wall Street Journal. The alliance would coincide with NYSE’s recent global expansion that included last month’s acquisition of Euronext and buying a […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 4:34 PM
  • News

    There Can Be Only One (Dispenser of Bad Advice)!

    Former Merrill Lynch tech analyst Henry Blodget’s latest “Bad Advice” column is a lament over the current state of the financial mainstream, in which hapless day traders listen to Jim Cramer and plug away at E*Trade accounts to disappointing returns (or so he figures). Blodget does have an impressive resume when it comes to bad […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 3:08 PM
  • World Economic Forum

    Davos Was (Is) For Pussies

    At least according to Bloomberg’s Michael Lewis. And why, pray tell, is it appropriate to refer to the 5-day long E-binge as such? 1. A lot of people say a lot of things at Davos but no one really has the cojones to, you know, ‘say’ anything. Examine the public statements extruded by the World […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 2:24 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    PIPEs Clogged With Criminals?

    You know that friend of yours, who’s really a great girl with looks and personality and that special something who, inexplicably, is constantly drawn to scumbags? That sort of magnetism seems to be at work between PIPEs and hedge funds run by people who are/or are involved with criminals, as discussed in Forbes’s “Sewer Pipes,” […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 12:42 PM
  • Citi, Maria Bartiromo

    Slate: ‘STOP DANCING AROUND THE PINK AND PURPLED STRIPED ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!’

    Jack Shafer is mad—fumed, you might even say. Obviously, his fury has to do with the Maria B. and Todd T. situation, but only tangentially. Jack’s a big boy—he doesn’t care if two extremely loaded, good looking individuals want to join the Mile High Club (‘what took them so long?’ is what he probably wanted […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 11:17 AM
  • News

    Let the Eagle Soar…Into Our Servers

    Some of you have been wondering why we are posting at the speed of Windows Vista on a 2 year old computer this week. The answer – server and power issues. This will continue to sound conventional until we think of some ridiculously awesome reason like an eagle carrying a severed deer head attacked our […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 11:15 AM
  • News

    Tickle Me Orgy

    Bolstered by the success of T.M.X. Elmo last holiday season, Mattel plans to launch T.M.X. Cookie Monster and T.M.X. Ernie by next fall. The T.M.X. line of “tickle-me” toys is slightly smaller and much more technologically advanced than its predecessors. The new dolls will be far sluttier more affirming than Elmo, able to get off […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 11:03 AM
  • Citi, Maria Bartiromo

    $Honey To Follow in Charlie “?Master” Rose’s Footsteps?

    Maria Bartiromo—Todd Thomson’s jet setting gal-pal—is in talks with CNBC about having her own branded TV show in the vein of Charlie Rose and Bill Moyers, the Post reports today. She’s also had her nickname—‘Money Honey’—trademarked for “stuffed animals, motion picture films, coin-counting machines, coloring books, jigsaw puzzles, interactive games, beer glasses, headbands and more,” […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 9:39 AM
  • News

    Colts, Bears and Prostates

    Now that Americans have demonstrated an ability not to giggle uncontrollably during ads discussing 4 hour long erections and have finally forged the conceptual bridge between genital herpes and extreme kayaking, prostate drug Flomax is entering the fray with a spot during Super Bowl XLI. WPP Group’s Grey produced the spot, which features a bunch […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 9:01 AM
  • News

    Fosters now Australian for…wine?

    If you noticed anyone last week not complaining about the cold, it was probably someone who was frequenting the Australian Wine Festival New York, part of Australia Week 2007. Australia is currently the 6th largest wine producer in the world, and exports over half a billion liters annually. At its current growth, the Australian wine […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 8:55 AM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 1.30.07

    And the winner at British Airways is….Willy Walsh (Flight International) After weeks of tension, the strike threat at Biritsh Airways has been defused, and the company’s CEO deserves the credit. The coup de grace came when the CEO publicly pointed out that the average unionized BA worker took 22 days of sick leave per year, […]

    / Jan 30, 2007 at 8:14 AM

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