Publisher’s Note: 
DealBreaker editor John Carney–pictured left, hard at work–called me on Sunday. “I’ve got good news and bad news,” he said, “The good news is that Bess has agreed to do the news wrap-up for the holiday tomorrow. The bad news is that I got hit by a car last night and am in the hospital.” As it happens, a car came speeding around a corner on the Lower East Side Saturday night and tried to use John as an emergency brake system. Then the jerk driving the car sped off because, well, he or she is obviously a miserable excuse for a human being and stupid enough to hit a lawyer.** John is okay in the critical sense (read: nothing life-threatening) but his leg was broken in several places and doctors are operating on it today. Ever the optimist, he says he thinks he’ll be back at work next week and describes the morphine drip as “awesome.” In the meantime, we’re experimenting with what can and cannot be smuggled into the hospital. (Brownies? Apparently not, even if they’re not those kind of brownies.) We wish him a speedy recovery and will be raising a Jameson’s or two in his honor, if not trying to smuggle a bottle into the hospital.
So until John comes hobbling back to us, DealBreaker will be in the capable hands of DB perennial favorite Bess Levin and guest-blogger Keith Hahn. Keith’s bio:
Keith Hahn escaped an Ivy covered ivory tower only to land in a bulge-bracket financial institution which swore its bulge was 100% natural and not artificially augmented by thousands of meaningless acquisitions and/or a pair of wool socks. After re-enacting the first season of Prison Break, Keith ended up in Private Equity, which, despite misleading nomenclature, did not give Keith the desired privacy to play Spider Solitaire in a totally uninterrupted manner. Redefining “me-time,” Keith now sits around in several pairs of fairly clean novelty boxer shorts and blogs, while occasionally attempting to make people giggle in other forms, like ornithology and the percussive mastery of various rubber canisters. Keith has also finally downloaded the guitar tab of the “Comfortably Numb” solo and is almost ready to play it for a girl.
Welcome, Keith. And godspeed, John.
- Elizabeth Spiers
**or possibly in the employ of Jeff Epstein, a popular conspiracy theory at DealBreaker headquarters.
Best wishes to John for a speedy recovery!
I always thought that “Wish You Were Here” was the song to play for a girl.
is this the same keith hahn who wrote the legendary farewell email at JPM?
Pretty sure “Wish You Were Here” was written about a dead partner
i’ve always been partial to “Crash”
Speaking of (awesome segue), John, I have found that a laptop and some version of Sid Meier’s Civilization is the best thing for a hospital stay…especially on morphine
Get well soon!
Jon – Ah, yes. Keith’s reputation precedes him.
Ok, what’s this legendary farewell? Can dealbreaker post?
This farewell has piqued my interest too. “Legendary” is a big word. Please post!
Where does Keith blog usually?
Yes, where does Senor Hahn normally blog? I’ve become fond of his work, notwithstanding his unfamiliarity with the tab marked Tools>Spelling&Grammar.
Senor Hahn does not normally blog. We’re not sure why he agreed to do it for us, but we think it may be the 50 Jack Welch books we offered him.