Every 42 seconds, the BEST first year analyst at Goldman makes a dollar

By Keith Hahn

Or 0.59 tubes of ChapStick, which considering how much this person is going to suck, will be sorely needed. What is the real purchasing power of these bloated analyst bonuses, or at least how long will it take to save up for that Phantom Drophead convertible?
Thanks to Forbes’ “Money Meter” you can find out, and compare yourself to semi-significant people (or at least celebrities) in the process. Let’s say that the BEST first year analyst at Goldman (aiming high, as he/she (well, it’s Goldman, so he) should) wants to buy…Berkshire Hathaway.
The BEST Goldman first year makes $170k a year with that top tier bonus of $110k and a base of $60k. Berkshire Hathaway’s market cap is around $170bn, which means that it will only take one million years (in a special version of hell) as the BEST Goldman first year IB analyst to buy Buffet’s bloated baby (assuming no taxes, no growth, no premium, and that Buffet consumes the souls of the living (salmon) to stay eternally youthful). This combines the dreams of the BEST first year analyst at Goldman – he gets to be an IB analyst forever, and one day be a super big deal, or at least full of folksy wisdom.
Money meter.JPG
The average American, on the other hand, makes only 22 cents on the dollar of every BEST Goldman first year. Warren Buffet makes almost $600 in this time.
Money meter 2.JPG
The Money Meter [Forbes]

Comments (5)

  1. 1
    Posted by mystupidopinion | May 23, 2007 at 2:25 PM

    Dealbreaker author ranking:
    1) HAHN
    2) Bess
    3) Carney
    Hopefully Carney isn’t logging my IP or recommending a firesale of my company by buyout shops.

  2. 2
    Posted by KH | May 23, 2007 at 2:41 PM

    Thanks for the feedback – but seriously, we’re all friends here…
    We’re more like flavors of Pringles (aside from not being able to stop once you pop), where you don’t have to pick just one, rather than flavors of Doritos, locked in a death match for supremacy (they are, really!).
    (just trying to buffer the 18 ensuing comments that uphold my sheer sucktitude in lieu of carney’s wisdom or the bon mots of bess – enjoy the whole crazy threesome!)

  3. 3
    Posted by DM | May 23, 2007 at 2:46 PM

    Keith may have spoke too soon. On Friday night I’m locking him, Carney and Bess in a cage. Only one leaves alive…

  4. 4
    Posted by BSD | May 23, 2007 at 3:01 PM

    David,
    You realize that the collective DB audience will hold you to that promise now. We want a live webcam and a bookie.
    I think Keith will have the best odds, but my money’s on Carney. Nearly recovered from his injuries, and dull to pain from Jameson and morphine he will take a beating in the first couple rounds only to come out on top.

  5. 5
    Posted by db fan | May 24, 2007 at 10:11 AM

    Well said Keith. I don’t know why people on this site have the inability to give a simple compliment. How about this, you guys are great and are funny/insightful way more often than not. Thanks to all of you for adding a little entertainment to my sometimes (usually) stressful day.

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