The Guinness world record for sleep deprivation has been broken and to the complete shock of anyone who’s worked in IB, the record breaker is not an analyst. Some random guy from Cornwall (Tony Wright) managed to stay awake for 11 days and nights. His recount, from the BBC:
During the record attempt, Mr Wright noticed his speech becoming incomprehensible at times and colours appearing very bright [now imagine he was trying to use Excel, perform line edits in pitchbooks or re-size bar graphs]. A webcam and CCTV cameras monitored him 24-hours a day [more impartial, less vindictive, than a pregnant staffer]. He argues that parts of the human brain require a different amount of sleep [the part of the brain that spreads industry comparables needs none] and it is possible to stay awake and remain functional for long periods. He said the hardest part was staying in one place – Penzance’s Studio Bar [Goldman's London office] – in order to prove that he was not popping out for a sleep.
We think if the record for sleep deprivation isn’t held by an analyst, the banks really aren’t trying hard enough. I once has the misfortune of witnessing an analyst in my old group pull 3 all-nighters in a row, with only a few hours of sleep several nights prior. You didn’t want to be near this guy on Friday afternoon of that week, trust me. My personal worst week was without irony called “Project Pleasure” (because it involved amusement parks – becausee that’s somehow Tech, Media, or Telecom related) and involved several nights of going home, taking a one hour nap and showering, with the added bonus of getting yelled at by the staffer for leaving the bank and being unresponsive for 2 hours from 5am-7am.
Share your horror stories (or email: tips at dealbreaker dot com).
Man claims new sleepless record [BBC]
Instead of paying $170,000 to 1st years and making them stay up for 3 nights in a row, why don’t these banks just hire more people?
Bloody hell, you pikers make it sound as if being an analyst was some kind of torture. I mean, yeah, the hours can be tough, but it’s not as if you cry-babies served in the military, survived 12 months in some Middle East prison, or worked in a hospital emergency room for 36 hours straight. You pampered, thumbsucking little babies wouldn’t know a “horror story” if it jumped up and bit you in your Brioni-clad arse.
Because they don’t want to end up with the hack accounting majors who eventually make their way to the KPMGs, E&Ys, etc.
is that why they teach the most basic accounting skills at i-banking analyst training?
The stories aren’t meant to evoke sympathy, just amusement, and for exactly the reasons you mention. No one’s really saving lives here, although the level of INTENSITY and dramatic tension in some of these bullpens would suggest otherwise, which is hilariously awesome.
We always used to joke that with our BlackBerries permanantly affixed to our belts (how the non-stop hotness rolls, with holstered junk), and going off at all hours of the night, that MDs must view our duties as a crack team of ER surgeons.
“We’re not gonna lose this one! Clear! Iterate! Delete that superfluous indefinite article, stat!,” referring to a pitch, or at least the mad-cap dash to finish one at 4am, which is in no way justifiable.
When canceling social plans (something bankers become very good at) I always used to tell people on the phone, that if I didn’t stick around the bank, “PEOPLE WOULD DIE.”
Also, when you think about it, analysts today have to be more productive than analysts before I don’t know… computers, Bloomberg terminals, Excel, modern printers, readily accessible online research and vast amounts of data already compiled for you (if only MDs could use CapitalIQ).
So it’s a broken culture that fills up a 24 hour day just because it can, and allthough you get paid for your trouble, “It… never… gets… any… easier!”
Anonymous 11:51AM, they’re all hacks. They’re new grads from bachelors business administration program.
actually, the majority don’t come from bbas. wharton (which is a bsc in economics, not a bba) and schools that don’t even have undergrad business schools (harvard, princeton, yale, cornell, stanford, etc.) make up at least two thirds of bulge bracket recruiting classes.