If your office is anything like the DealBreaker one, there’s been a cloud of emotions hanging over it since the tragic events of 6/10. Some of us feel robbed, others vindicated, others ill. For the most part, no one here will ever trust another human being again, either because we’ll never have it as good with anyone else as we did with David Chase or because that guy screwed us.
Which is why when we came across an interview with Doug Ellin discussing his new show for HBO about hedge funds, something deep within made us scream, “Fuck this.” (Bad Thai on West 4th). First, because Ellin apparently has a problem with “Harvard-educated medical doctors who would rather work at an investment bank than try to cure cancer” and second, because we don’t have the energy to go on another emtional roller coaster ride, invest our time, and then have it taken away from us with two minutes of a chick having difficulties parallel parking her car and then the screen going to black (because it was brilliant or a cop-out? We don’t even know anymore. Damn you, Chase). So let’s just do this now and get it over with and move on with our lives: How is the series finale of Sex and the City/Entourage for Hedge Funds going to end:
- The main character, a brash young trader named Ryan Munter will make a bad bet on weather and the fund will lose $6b in a month
- The 4 best friends, all quant guys, will retire with a few billion each, go teach math at Harvard and score some major grad student tail
- Two minutes of a chick having difficulties parallel parking her car and then the screen going to black
- No series finale: show gets cancelled after half a season. No one notices because television shows about finance suck.
- Other
Fistfull of Dollars [NYT]
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the ryan munter scenario
D: Hedge Fund IPO. Love interest Becky Fast is late to the office, “Money Bunny” fills in on Squawk Bawx and babbles mindlessly for two minutes in the background before opening bell as our hero/protagonist traders drink SBUX (recently taken private by the long/short strategy’s new private equity arm) mocha lattes and wait to see how their shares price. Joe Blernan makes some inane comment about parent company GE. Then the screen goes black.
In a Flinstones Meet the Jetsons-esque crossover episode, the filming of Medellin goes over budget and the hedgies come in with additional financing. The movie goes on to be an even bigger success than Poseidon.
You know this industry is about to go to shit when HBO airs a sitcom about it. There’s going to be a prolonged period of negative fund flows from all but the very largest hedge funds.
… and the reason that the industry experiences outflows is either (1) a massive blow up by a major fund, probably due to being short vol or (2) a massive fraud at a major fund.
“We’re going to party like it’s 1998!”
Did The Sopranos signal the end of the sicilian mob? Did entourage signal the end of young guys blowing through cash in LA? Did Sex and the city signal the end of whores getting drunk and sleeping around in NYC?
Many HBO series are basically versions of the “Sopranos”. Deadwood? Sopranos out west. “Rome”? Etruscan Sopranos. “Entourage”? Sopranos in Hollywood. “Big Love”? Mormon Sopranos.
Now you know what a HBO hedge fund series will probably be modeled after.
When is Wall Street Warriors coming back?
We need a Sykes fix.
Sopranos … murder whores drugs and gambling
Deadwood … murder whores drugs and gambling
Entourage … whores drugs and gambling
Big Love … whores, sorta
Yeah that basically works Tex. Not sure where Rome fits in though
WSW is back in the fall!
The plots are always the same. It’s the way the story is told that counts. “It’s the way Ah tell em.”
Fuckin’ typical Hollywood. He calls the Entourage boys who do nothing but sleep, eat and fuck “good guys who have each other’s back and just want to take care of each other”, but hedgies working their ass off and making millions sadden him. Why aren’t you writing a movie about fuckin’ Darfur then, Ellin? I was really looking forward to him doing justice to funds the way he did to Entourage (which I agree is a very realistic portrayal of Hollywood culture, but then that’s what Ellin is familiar with).
Bess may be right – this thing will get cancelled quicker than that finance show by the sex and the city writer.
At least Ellin is not trying to pretend he is not glamorizing the entourage lifestyle. He knows this is what people want to see.
And you have it just right these are boys, not men. A good bunch of guys is probably what he also called his college buddies many of whom likely puked on his couch at some point or another. Well, that’s hollywood for you. Probably more representative than today’s cocaine trader article
At least Ellin is not trying to pretend he is not glamorizing the entourage lifestyle. He knows this is what people want to see.
And you have it just right these are boys, not men. A good bunch of guys is probably what he also called his college buddies many of whom likely puked on his couch at some point or another. Well, that’s hollywood for you. Probably more representative than today’s cocaine trader