Meet Mary Sue Williams. She’s a waitress at Undo’s, a restaurant that overlooks Interstate 70 in the sleepy town of St. Clairsville, Ohio, population: 5,057. She enjoys taking care of regulars, and has plenty of them, as she’s been working at the Italian eatery for nine years. She has two daughters, Jenni and Sarah, and a husband named Mark, who works as a cook at the local Denny’s. Mary Sue’s never bought or sold real stock in her life, though she may be the winner of CNBC’s Million Dollar Portfolio Challenge.

Currently in sixth place (Williams says she used the “Warren Buffett approach" and invested in things she knew about: lubricant manufactuerer WD-40 (WDFC) and Crocs (CROX)), there’s a good chance that she’ll be bumped to first place in the fake contest because the contestants ahead of her have proven themselves to (possibly) be lying cheaters who can’t even stop themselves from trying to scam a simulated game on the internet, run by CNBC and promoted by Tim Sykes. So far, nothing’s been said about players 1-5 doing hard time for their misdeeds, but this seems like punishment enough. Mary Sue Williams, we salute you.

The Million-Dollar Waitress [BusinessWeek]