How Do You Like Me Now?

By Bess Levin

marysuewilliamscnbc.jpgMeet Mary Sue Williams. She’s a waitress at Undo’s, a restaurant that overlooks Interstate 70 in the sleepy town of St. Clairsville, Ohio, population: 5,057. She enjoys taking care of regulars, and has plenty of them, as she’s been working at the Italian eatery for nine years. She has two daughters, Jenni and Sarah, and a husband named Mark, who works as a cook at the local Denny’s. Mary Sue’s never bought or sold real stock in her life, though she may be the winner of CNBC’s Million Dollar Portfolio Challenge.
Currently in sixth place (Williams says she used the “Warren Buffett approach” and invested in things she knew about: lubricant manufactuerer WD-40 (WDFC) and Crocs (CROX)), there’s a good chance that she’ll be bumped to first place in the fake contest because the contestants ahead of her have proven themselves to (possibly) be lying cheaters who can’t even stop themselves from trying to scam a simulated game on the internet, run by CNBC and promoted by Tim Sykes. So far, nothing’s been said about players 1-5 doing hard time for their misdeeds, but this seems like punishment enough. Mary Sue Williams, we salute you.
The Million-Dollar Waitress [BusinessWeek]

Comments (15)

  1. 1
    Posted by Anonymous | June 20, 2007 at 11:38 AM

    hahahah

  2. 2
    Posted by anon | June 20, 2007 at 11:42 AM

    She’s going to start a hedge fund.

  3. 3
    Posted by anonymous | June 20, 2007 at 11:50 AM

    Wow!! Levin managed to write a whole post without a hint (apparently) of sarcasm or ridicule. Bess Levin, I salute you.

  4. 4
    Posted by dealbook | June 20, 2007 at 11:52 AM

    11:50, if you have a problem with sarcasm or ridicule, what the fuck are you doing here at dealbreaker?

  5. 5
    Posted by anonymous | June 20, 2007 at 12:00 PM

    Hey fuckwit @ 11:52, I enjoy sarcasm and ridicule just as much as the next guy. Hence my comment. Dumbass.

  6. 6
    Posted by bizwriter | June 20, 2007 at 12:57 PM

    i dunno, i detected a soupcon of sarcasm in the mention of WD-40 as a product our waitress friend is familiar with…

  7. 7
    Posted by Anonymous | June 20, 2007 at 1:22 PM

    C’mon guys, we all know Mary is just a front for Tim Sykes, trader extraordinaire

  8. 8
    Posted by pete | June 20, 2007 at 1:28 PM

    Mary Sue Williams turned zero dollars into a pre tax sum of 1 million dollars. Timmy eat your heart out.

  9. 9
    Posted by Timmayyyy | June 20, 2007 at 1:29 PM

    Mary hasn’t won yet!

  10. 10
    Posted by BSD is a dick | June 20, 2007 at 1:36 PM

    I think anon 11:50am is really BSD, and in case you forgot, BSD is a DICK. Now he doesn’t even have the balls to use his own name, what a hatchet wound.

  11. 11
    Posted by anon anon anon | June 20, 2007 at 1:38 PM

    Buffett is selecting her as one of the five contestants (who will replace him) who will each get 5 billion to play with…..if she wins this contest. Go Mary Sue.

  12. 12
    Posted by anonymous @ 11:50 | June 20, 2007 at 1:54 PM

    No, I’m not BSD. I agree though, BSD is a DICK. It even says it in his handle.

  13. 13
    Posted by Gordon Gekko | June 20, 2007 at 1:55 PM

    maybe she can buy a makeover with her winnings…

  14. 14
    Posted by Anonymous | June 21, 2007 at 1:23 PM

    does anyone else see a problem with awarding the prize to the 6th place finisher?

  15. 15
    Posted by Mary | July 6, 2007 at 12:01 AM

    If everyone flips a coin 10 times, one in every 1024 should get 10 heads in a row.

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