• 20 Jun 2007 at 2:01 PM
  • drugs

Just Say No (6 Hours Before The Heroin Test)

By

adds.jpgI’m about to re-report something from Reuters that’s going to blow your fucking mind: bankers do drugs. Yes, taking a cue from the New York Times, the news service notes that there’s a good chance the guy sitting next to you is coked out of his skull right now. No one’s quite sure what begets what—do bankers on blow (Ritalin, Adderall) make profits rise or do high profits cause banker to do blow (Ritalin, Adderall), but they’re pretty sure Wall Street’s constant, overbearing emphasis on making money is “keeping drug dealers busy…ruining careers, tearing apart families,” and causing genocide in the Sudan.
Morgan Stanley spokeswoman Jean Marie McFadden said, “To my knowledge, we have not seen an uptick in drug use,” which sounds incredibly convincing. Convicted drug dealer Juan Rodriguez noted that many of his (“former”) clients “were” Morgan Stanley bankers, who “never complained about the price of cocaine.” And why should they? Morgan Stanley’s Q2 net income jumped 40% from last year to $2.58bn or $2.45 a share. The results handily beat the consensus analyst estimate of $2.01 a share. Morgan Stanley’s Q2 revenue jumped 32% from last year to $11.52bn and beat the analyst estimate of $10.03bn.
Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers, Citigroup, JPMorgan & Chase Co. and Bear Stearns all declined to comment on their drug use.
A hiring manager at one of the reticent five, though, did helpfully point out that while new staff must take a urine test, new hires are allowed to choose when they would like to undergo the cup during a 45-day period prior to their start date. “Our drug test is not so much a test of whether you actually take drugs as it is an intelligence test to see if you can figure out how long it takes to get traces of the drug out of your system,” he said.
Looking to land a position at Goldman but metabolically absent minded? We’ve provided some info. Don’t say we never did anything for you.


Cocaine:
Urine: 2-4 days
Hair: up to 90 days
Blood: 24 hours
Heroin:
Urine: 2 days
Hair: up to 90 days
Blood: 6 hours
Marijuana:
Urine: (single use) 2-14 days, (prolonged use) 25-30 days
Hair: up to 90 days
Blood: 2 days
Amphetamines:
Urine: 1-2 days
Hair: up to 90 days
Blood: 12 hours
Methamphetamine:
Urine: 1-2 days
Hair: up to 90 days
Blood: 24 hours
Codeine:
Urine: 2 days
Hair: up to 90 days
Blood: 12 hours
Wall Street’s undertow: drugs and anxiety [Reuters]
Are drugs fueling the stock market’s rise? [Blogging Stocks]

Comments (55)

  1. 1
    Posted by banker | June 20, 2007 at 2:08 PM

    Bankers who abstain from drugs are at a signficant competitive disadvantage.

  2. 2
    Posted by Anonymous | June 20, 2007 at 2:16 PM

    heroin really is the way to go

  3. 3
    Posted by chris | June 20, 2007 at 2:22 PM

    Is it bad form to show up completely shaven, including head, eyebrows, pubes and chest?

  4. 4
    Posted by anon #2 | June 20, 2007 at 3:06 PM

    “Is it bad form to show up completely shaven, including head, eyebrows, pubes and chest?”
    it worked for britney

  5. 5
    Posted by tom e. chong | June 20, 2007 at 3:57 PM

    best. dealbreaker. post. ever.

  6. 6
    Posted by Carl Icon | June 20, 2007 at 4:02 PM

    most useful DB post ever

  7. 7
    Posted by anon | June 20, 2007 at 4:21 PM

    Does anyone know if hair testing is a popular method among these employers? Would appreciate some feedback.
    Best.

  8. 8
    Posted by BSD | June 20, 2007 at 4:40 PM

    Never anything but a pee test. BofA IB doesn’t test at all last time I checked (2yrs)…

  9. 9
    Posted by jt | June 20, 2007 at 5:44 PM

    european ibanks don’t test at all even for nyc hires

  10. 10
    Posted by jo | June 21, 2007 at 4:46 AM

    Addicted corporate slaves:-)

  11. 11
    Posted by cheap oem software | May 2, 2012 at 7:38 AM

    bOQxc9 Im obliged for the article.Much thanks again. Will read on…

  12. 12
    Posted by sooriounc | August 27, 2012 at 1:32 AM

    ujrfxpio [url=http://louboutinnpascher.webnode.fr/#1366]louboutinp[/url] wckygkry christian louboutin pas chera izkcqgyx http://louboutinnpascher.webnode.fr/

  13. 13
    Posted by Peetleinveree | September 8, 2012 at 5:57 AM

    oqycufqz [url=http://frairjordannsales.info]air jordan pas cher[/url] anxwmkertx air jordan pas cher ebjyoqb http://frairjordannsales.info

  14. 14
    Posted by cheap bookmarking service | September 9, 2012 at 7:15 PM

    2VVFeW A round of applause for your article.Much thanks again. Really Great.

  15. 15
    Posted by peenueBum | September 10, 2012 at 4:20 PM

    vnhvqh [url=http://louboutinnmagasinn.webnode.fr/]louboutin[/url] puenyp louboutin pas cher ttybje http://louboutinnmagasinn.webnode.fr/
    hkxyysyl [url=http://saclongchampvpliagesoldes.com]longchamp pliage[/url] faifsxkzrl longchamp pas cher rkmapon http://saclongchampvpliagesoldes.com

  16. 16
    Posted by make money online free | September 11, 2012 at 6:29 AM

    I loved your blog article.

  17. 17
    Posted by Michigan Medical Marijuana | September 12, 2012 at 5:49 AM

    Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic blog article. Will read on…

  18. 18
    Posted by mdansby | September 12, 2012 at 2:23 PM

    Thanks-a-mundo for the article post.Thanks Again. Will read on…

  19. 19
    Posted by satnam | September 13, 2012 at 12:01 AM

    Thanks-a-mundo for the article post.Thanks Again. Fantastic.

  20. 20
    Posted by kc septic tank | September 13, 2012 at 11:24 AM

    I am so grateful for your blog article. Fantastic.

  21. 21
    Posted by Monster Beats Solo | September 13, 2012 at 8:30 PM

    Thanks, useful material I added your blog to my bookmarks!…

  22. 22
    Posted by Klaire Labs vitamins | September 14, 2012 at 4:11 AM

    I think this is a real great article post.Really looking forward to read more. Want more.

  23. 23
    Posted by Fans and followers to kickstart your social media campaign! | September 14, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    This is one awesome post.Really looking forward to read more.

  24. 24
    Posted by Arrivatriva | September 15, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    loznipdh [url=http://abercromfitchxpascher.webnode.fr/#2917]abercrombie pas cherq[/url] yemfliho abercrombieh bffmkuxc http://abercromfitchxpascher.webnode.fr/brqsfvui [url=http://louboutinnpascher.webnode.fr/#8363]louboutin[/url] cefwqogk louboutin pas cher bufrjcpa http://louboutinnpascher.webnode.fr/

  25. 25
    Posted by Stoosysef | September 16, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    vsuuienc [url=http://franceloubutindesoldes.com]louboutin[/url] fvqssqsjey dpbb pzkfwunc [url=http://franceabcromfitchdesoldes.com]abercrmbie france[/url] npohvnfuqk http://franceabcromfitchdesoldes.com

  26. 26
    Posted by final bounce | September 18, 2012 at 6:03 AM

    Hey, thanks for the post.Thanks Again. Fantastic.

  27. 27
    Posted by pikalaina | September 18, 2012 at 9:15 AM

    Major thanks for the article post.Really looking forward to read more. Want more.

  28. 28
    Posted by Hietryelery | September 18, 2012 at 7:52 PM

    vhcbnnqg [url=http://ukguiihanbagsonline.webeden.co.uk/#2014]gucci uk[/url] wdvualiays gucci uk sale dajbcuj butdtcdk [url=http://barbourjacketsales.webeden.co.uk/#3422]barbour jackets[/url] njfpgcaqjk barbour jackets sale iyhaydh
    fdiyiapw [url=http://salesvuittonnbagsoutletstore.info/#0random[0..9]79]louis vuitton outlet[/url] obnssuppmh

  29. 29
    Posted by need fast cash | September 18, 2012 at 9:27 PM

    I cannot thank you enough for the blog article.Really looking forward to read more.

  30. 30
    Posted by sex videos | September 19, 2012 at 3:55 AM

    Major thankies for the article.Much thanks again. Really Great.

  31. 31
    Posted by stilettos | September 19, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    Great blog post.Thanks Again. Want more.

  32. 32
    Posted by whois | September 20, 2012 at 6:27 AM

    A big thank you for your blog.Really thank you! Much obliged.

  33. 33
    Posted by bookmarking submission | September 20, 2012 at 7:57 AM

    lIGU3T Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic post. Want more.

  34. 34
    Posted by Natural Treatment For Alopecia Areata | September 20, 2012 at 8:15 AM

    Really appreciate you sharing this blog.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.

  35. 35
    Posted by feet hurt | September 21, 2012 at 12:14 PM

    I really liked your blog post.

  36. 36
    Posted by bad credit loans | September 22, 2012 at 12:57 AM

    Major thankies for the blog article.Much thanks again. Fantastic.

  37. 37
    Posted by the best multivitamin | September 22, 2012 at 6:18 AM

    I appreciate you sharing this post.Much thanks again. Great.

  38. 38
    Posted by buy bulk autoblogs | September 22, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    I cannot thank you enough for the blog.Really looking forward to read more.

  39. 39
    Posted by panic disorder | September 22, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    Really informative blog article.Thanks Again. Cool.

  40. 40
    Posted by vde 0701 0702 | September 22, 2012 at 9:04 PM

    Hey, thanks for the article.Really looking forward to read more. Really Cool.

  41. 41
    Posted by credit life insurance | September 22, 2012 at 10:53 PM

    Great article.Thanks Again. Much obliged.

  42. 42
    Posted by Personal assistant agency | September 23, 2012 at 5:22 PM

    wow, awesome blog post. Awesome.

  43. 43
    Posted by lida uretim | September 23, 2012 at 8:11 PM

    I do`t see a feedback or the other coordinates from the blog administration!…

  44. 44
    Posted by Payday Loans Online | September 23, 2012 at 9:04 PM

    Major thanks for the post. Great.

  45. 45
    Posted by Sexinserate | September 24, 2012 at 4:36 AM

    Very good blog post.Really thank you! Really Cool.

  46. 46
    Posted by one buck resume | September 24, 2012 at 12:07 PM

    I loved your blog.Really thank you! Fantastic.

  47. 47
    Posted by Dance Music Blog | September 25, 2012 at 5:29 AM

    A big thank you for your blog.Much thanks again. Want more.

  48. 48
    Posted by senuke video | September 25, 2012 at 11:14 AM

    Say, you got a nice article post.Thanks Again. Really Great.

  49. 49
    Posted by zquiet amazon | September 26, 2012 at 4:45 AM

    Hey, thanks for the article.Thanks Again. Awesome.

  50. 50
    Posted by British English | September 26, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    Fantastic blog.Really thank you! Awesome.

  51. 51
    Posted by Arrivatriva | October 5, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    bezxgwxx [url=http://frloubutinnsensoldes.webnode.fr/#62795]louboutin[/url] qhrfcnsy louboutin pas cher pimpxeqr http://frloubutinnsensoldes.webnode.fr/

  52. 52
    Posted by Charlene Willoby | October 12, 2012 at 12:19 AM

    I intended to draft you that little bit of word to thank you very much the moment again for these great advice you have discussed on this page. This is really open-handed of you in giving extensively all that a number of people would have made available as an ebook to earn some cash for themselves, especially given that you might have done it if you ever desired. These thoughts likewise worked as the great way to realize that other individuals have the identical desire really like my own to figure out a great deal more concerning this issue. I know there are several more pleasant sessions in the future for people who read your website.

  53. 53
    Posted by cheap wow gold | October 14, 2012 at 6:23 AM

    Hi there, I found your website via Google whilst searching for a similar topic, your site got here up, it seems to be great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  54. 54
    Posted by jearuiz01 | March 7, 2013 at 9:54 PM

    I do think that the pretty sure Wall Street’s constant, overbearing emphasis on making money is “keeping drug dealers busy…ruining careers, tearing apart families,” and causing genocide in the Sudan. Non 12 step rehabs

  55. 55
    Posted by nod32 Keys | April 22, 2013 at 8:40 PM

    To my knowledge, we have not seen an uptick in drug use.