Golden child Google missed analysts unrealistic expectations of what the search engine is capable of in quarterly results yesterday. This is the second time the company has failed since its 2004 IPO. Investors unconsensually punished the stock in after hours trading, with shares falling up to 8.3% ($45.29), to $503.40, to say nothing of the cutting and “You sicken me” chanting by Larry and Serge in front of the bathroom mirror.

Google’s work force ballooned 13% and research costs shot up 88%, in an effort to put unauthorized crotch shots of tabby cats on Street Views. Some ideas for cutting back on soaring costs, which investment strategist Carsten Klude maintains are vital to a company like Google’s growth, include taking away the free lunches and not buying any more of the founders’ wife’s companies in an effort to get out of taking out the trash.

Google Drops on Profit Miss, Auction Spending Plan [Bloomberg]