In Dealbreaker’s new “DealBreaker Delusions of Grandeur of the Week” feature, we bring you a performance update from Caxton Associate President Peter P. D’Angelo to his investors, dated August 1. D’Angelo notes that this is a “most unusual step” that he was forced to take due to market volatility and “unfounded rumors in the internet community.” That is US, people! Later, we’ll try and figure out how to upload the voicemail Bruce left during lunch.
Third Point investors, expect your report tomorrow, because 3T is blowing up today.* Danny Loeb, break out the pen and paper now.
*We’re joking, of course. Unless you know something.


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Comments (14)

  1. Posted by bill | August 1, 2007 at 3:10 PM

    Insensative much? Can we not use babies and SAC together in a joke a few days after his 6 year old son died?

  2. Posted by Anonymous | August 1, 2007 at 3:16 PM

    what are you talking about dude?

  3. Posted by anon | August 1, 2007 at 3:20 PM

    Let us also avoid use of the word “underwater” …

  4. Posted by bill | August 1, 2007 at 3:21 PM
  5. Posted by Anonymous | August 1, 2007 at 3:28 PM

    good call on the edit bessy

  6. Posted by Random Banker | August 1, 2007 at 3:45 PM

    Welcome as long as they took their VaR down to .5% of the portfolio…. I’m going to guess that no one ever thinks their VaR is 100% of the portfolio until just after they blow up. I think Sowood’s “VaR” was right around .49% of their portfolio… except someone forget to tell that to the hill billies who took out ARMS on their trailer homes.
    To Recap VaR is stupid…
    P.S. Does anyone know if Caxton is hiring?

  7. Posted by Finbar Taggit | August 1, 2007 at 5:05 PM

    V@R is a long only risk measure? Does this mean they have no shorts?

  8. Posted by Icarus | August 2, 2007 at 1:02 AM

    A sad event of a few days ago, Brian Cohen’s six year old son drowned in the pool at his family’s residence in Greenwich, CT. Brian Cohen is an officer at SAC Capital, unrelated to the founder and CEO, Steven A Cohen whose initials represent the company he founded in 1981. Yes, it was 1981, or at least the predessor entity, not 1992.
    Sincere condolences should be extended Brian Cohen and his family.

  9. Posted by Robert Eckerlin | August 3, 2007 at 3:10 PM

    I do not understand why you mention Third Point ands Daniel Loeb. Can you please explain?
    Are you not aware that Third Point is (moderatly) up in July?

  10. Posted by Anonymous | August 3, 2007 at 3:13 PM

    robert– are you JOKING?

  11. Posted by Robert Eckerlin | August 3, 2007 at 3:44 PM

    No, I am not joking.
    By the way: Third Point was up around 17% per End of July. Even (this is surely not what I hope), at end of 2007 it will be moderatly in negative territory, in view of its performance since its inception, this will not be a tragedy for its long term investors.

  12. Posted by Robert Eckerlin | August 3, 2007 at 3:45 PM

    Sorry, I forgot to mention that the “up around 17%”, is the YTD figure per end of July.

  13. Posted by it's called a joke, asshole | August 3, 2007 at 3:47 PM

    THEY WERE KIDDING!! of course dl’s fine, db’s not reporting they’re blowing up, and there will be no letter.

  14. Posted by Robert Eckerlin | August 3, 2007 at 3:54 PM

    This kind of joking is very distatefull.

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