• 20 Aug 2007 at 10:22 AM

Is This Thing On?

By John Carney

fozzie 1.JPG Hedge funds heavily invested in subprime assets are like the Titanic – both are sinking and only a few wealthy people got out in time. Get it? Do you GET IT? Hmmm…crickets. Tough crowd. That killed at the Apollo we swear.
How about this – there is a new quant trading method known as a… dartboard (ba dum bum)! Get it? Because quant trading methods are based on incredibly complex mathematical models used to pinpoint pricing inefficiencies. Throwing darts is random. I know you’re there because I can hear you leaving.
The Financial Times provides the aforementioned gut-busters, and reports that finance professionals have a sense of humor, even in a bear market. Sure, some traders are really weeping (the article actually says this), but others are telling jokes, trying to keep morale high as they contend with the possibility of getting a bonus in the low six or seven figures.
These subversive Lenny Bruce types are keeping laughter alive in the face of such national tragedy. While millionaires struggle to feed their kids’ exotic pets and mistresses, the nation stays strong. Aside from floor stand-up, some are taking to the internets. We’re sure many of you have seen the COLOSTOMYBAG subprime hedge fund parody.
Seeing a huge rift in joke liquidity, the Fed injected some humor into the system to provide relief and let bankers know that they can borrow jokes at discount rates.
In a call with several prominent bankers including the CEOs of Bear Stearns and Merrill Lynch, Bernanke provided the showstopper – Why are some hedge fund managers going to Yellowstone Park on holiday when you can see more bears in the city?
Please tell some better jokes in the comments below.
Market bears invest in some grizzly humour [Financial Times]

Comments (10)

  1. 1
    Posted by Calgary Schmooze | August 20, 2007 at 10:30 AM

    Someone needs to doctor a photo and put Grover or Beaker in front of a bank of trading screens.

  2. 2
    Posted by Anonymous | August 20, 2007 at 10:31 AM

    definitely Beaker. Surprised no one’s been ambitious enough to hop on it yet actually.

  3. 3
    Posted by Random Banker | August 20, 2007 at 10:31 AM

    GET OFF THE STAGE

  4. 4
    Posted by Anonymous | August 20, 2007 at 10:41 AM

    Dr. Bunson Honeydew is fitting

  5. 5
    Posted by Beaker | August 20, 2007 at 10:55 AM

    Meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep MEEP!

  6. 6
    Posted by Beaker | August 20, 2007 at 10:56 AM

    Meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep meepmeep MEEP!

  7. 7
    Posted by deps | August 20, 2007 at 11:00 AM

    the swedish chef!

  8. 8
    Posted by old school brat | August 20, 2007 at 11:07 AM

    Feeding your kids’ mistresses! When I was young, I had to feed my mistress out of the lousy five figure a week allowance my dad gave me. No way my dad would pay for her food. Kids have it easy these days.

  9. 9
    Posted by JT | August 20, 2007 at 11:14 AM

    I imagine this is something like what the scene at many a quant fund (or sentinel) looked like last week:
    http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/2/2c/Beaker_muppet.jpg

  10. 10
    Posted by NotNasser | August 20, 2007 at 11:17 AM

    An Irishman, a platypus, and a hedge fund manager walk into a bar….
    Okay, that’s as far as I’ve gotten so far. But it’ll be a gut-buster when I finish it.

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