Posted by Shecky Buffett , Aug 11, 2007 3:24PM

So a quant gets fired and buys a farm way out in the country. After a few weeks, the quant's wife says, "We can't have a farm without some animals." So the quant goes to the nearby General Store and sees an old timer sitting on the front bench outside the general store. The quant says he has to get some animals. "I need a hen and a rooster and a donkey for sure",he tells the old timer.

The old timer says, "Well, son, out here in the country a donkey is called an "ass". A hen is a "Pullet" and a rooster is a "cock". If you're going to live out here you'd better talk like you do if you want any respect from the locals.

So the quant buys all three animals and the store owner says, "You can ride the ass back to your place but you'll have to hold on to the birds. But, should the ass stop for any reason, just get off and scratch betweeen his ears and he'll start moving again."

When the quant got home he was sporting a new black eye. His wife said, "How'd you get that black eye?"

Quant told her the story of the purchase of the animals. Then, he said, "We were walking back to the farm when the ass stopped in the road. A nice lady drove by, got out and and asked if I needed any help. So I said, "Sure. Would you mind holding my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?"

"That's how I got the black eye."