As we previously posted, the “wolf” of Wall street aka Jordan Belfort is out of prison and is promoting a piece of literature based on his sordid life at Stratton Oakmont during the coke infused 80’s-90’s. After having thumbed through this self-promoting read (which has been optioned by Warner Brothers as a Martin Scorsese film), it became clear that the book has some positive qualities. First and most important – If you’re into porn, you’ll enjoy The Wolf of Wall street. Had he been a woman, he could easily have written Harlequin romance novels from the big house. His descriptions of his “luscious” wife whom he dubs "The Duchess" are… shall we say, stimulating.
In addition to sex everywhere and in every position, if you’re into hookers, blow and Quaaludes (or at least reading about them) then this should make a nice little bedtime story. Disregard the dissonance he experiences as he attempts to balance the two personas 1) despicable pill popping prostitute enthusiast with 2) respectable family man. It’s not convincing and feels like filler. That said, there’s enough dirty goodness in here to go around. The Wolf of Wall Street lands on shelves September 25th.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 11:33AM
I thought Jack Gates is the wolf of wall street.
Also what is a Myrna Moss?
Posted by chris , Sep 19, 2007 11:35AM
Stop before you write again.
Posted by b-d , Sep 19, 2007 11:38AM
I thought DB was supposed to be funny and insightful. I guess its just supposed to be lame.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 11:39AM
dealbreaker, you must be joking. this is pathetic. cliches like "hookers and blow" only work if they're funny. if not you sound like a tool. sorry, myrna.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 11:40AM
i'm not really a quaaludes guy, but i don't mind blow and whores
Posted by Fishmonger , Sep 19, 2007 11:42AM
Myrna:
I meant to tell you this yesterday. Sweetie, if it smells like fish everywhere you go, maybe its not what you're eating. Shouldn't you talk do your mom about that issue or go see some sort of lady doctor, rather than posting on this blog where few readers can help you.
If you pop in Duane Read, I'm sure they can hook you up with some Monostat H or Preparation 7 or Taint-Be-Fresh, as the need may be.
Just trying help,
Polonius
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 11:44AM
I didn't think it was possible to make hookers, blow, and Qaaludes sound less exciting than having sex with one's wife.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 11:47AM
wow you guys are mean she is just trying to let you know what the book is about? did you already know all of this?
you probably spent more time crafting your clever insults than you
think you wasted reading the short review
Posted by jcd , Sep 19, 2007 11:48AM
Myrna...what of my lunch offer?
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 11:51AM
jcd, please take her to lunch so we dont have to read this amateur shit.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 11:51AM
you're right, 11:47: i read dealbreaker for the book reports.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 11:56AM
why do you read dealbreaker? for the high quality of financial analysis?
Posted by d , Sep 19, 2007 11:57AM
terrible. stop embarassing yourself (and DB).
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:01PM
11:56-- to laugh and be entertained. not read pointless, stupid, unfunny writing.
Posted by AJ , Sep 19, 2007 12:05PM
wow db readers do not do well with change...
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:05PM
Maybe you should watch the Daily Show instead
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:06PM
you would think the readers of db would be better at early adaption. apparently not.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:07PM
change is not the problem. crappy writing is the problem.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:10PM
why would you want to adopt a piece of shit, early or late?
Posted by George , Sep 19, 2007 12:14PM
This is just the nature of the beast. When I was a first year the 3rd years actually hid left over sushi around our desks. Myrna is only being verbally berated. Imagine having to work amongst rotting fish day in and day out.
Remember how harsh everyone used to be on Keith.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:18PM
she's writing for a blog for crying out loud, not working in debt capital markets at lehman brothers. beat up on your junior associates, dont take your anger out on some poor chick making like 10k a year just for the priviledge of attempting to entertain stuck up finance types like me
Posted by crankster , Sep 19, 2007 12:21PM
So much for my illusions that Wall Street wasn't loaded with emotionally-stunted, mentally retarded ex-frat boys.
And speaking of loaded, Polonius, do you blow your father with that mouth?
Well-written, Myrna. Keep 'em coming.
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 19, 2007 12:26PM
Uh we're not all frat boys here buddy (although I did play lacrosse, so theres that, amongst other things)
Oh and for the record Myrna, this article shows some improvement, lets just advance up that curve a little faster and maybe we can work with this
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:26PM
crankster- you're new here, aren't you?
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:27PM
well-written for a 3rd grader trying to imitate someone. the only mentally-retarded people are the ones who think this is quality writing (and Myrna).
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:28PM
uh im not saying its well written but i dont think there's any need for the kind of insults being flung.
better luck next time anyway i have spent long enough defending the poster.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:28PM
Anal_yst-
Please justify your claim of "some improvement" with examples. Because I see a 5th-grade level book report, not "improvement."
Posted by quality control! , Sep 19, 2007 12:30PM
You're right. Let's stop throwing insults, and just stop reading DB. Because if this is the direction, I can find better ways to waste my time.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:32PM
12:30...let's just read keith and bess.
Posted by Crankster , Sep 19, 2007 12:41PM
Admittedly, Myra needs to work on her punctuation a little bit, but what are you guys looking for? Do you want in-depth comparisons to Dostoevski and Soul on Ice? Do you need a graduate-level thesis on the nature of prison writing? What is this--a Wall Street site, or writing lessons at Miss Cratchit's School for Boys Who Sit Down to Piss?
Look at the key points--does she tell you what you need to know about the book? Can you reach a decision about whether or not to buy based on the available information? Is her review clear, concise, and informative?
I'd say the answers to all three questions are yes.
And yes, anonymous, I'm a first-time poster.
Posted by Randy Moss , Sep 19, 2007 12:43PM
please give my sister some time, she's new. I was "the new guy" in Oakland once and had a hard time getting adjusted.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:45PM
wow, she gives us the "key points." i'm looking for a little added value, like wit and humor.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:49PM
there's no need to crucify this broad...if you don't like it, mover on to the next story.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 12:53PM
yah, the problem is that they're not posting the next story.
what happened to their quotas?
is Bess still in rehab?
Posted by AJ , Sep 19, 2007 1:01PM
Carney, there's going to be a riot if you don't get back from your 8-martini lunch and post a new story
Posted by Accountant , Sep 19, 2007 1:03PM
ha-ha Dealbreaker,
Myrna is gold: I bet all the "after-the-jump" ad traffic this post has generated justifies her keep.
Myrna, don't cry; you make the $$!!!
Posted by Polonius , Sep 19, 2007 1:04PM
We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the "complainers" are pussies. And the banks were work for are assholes. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
Posted by Accountant , Sep 19, 2007 1:07PM
Polonius, you do have a way with words.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 1:09PM
Well put, Trey (or is it Matt)?
Where is Jack Gates when you need him
Posted by pith , Sep 19, 2007 1:10PM
myrna sucks.
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 19, 2007 1:21PM
I think the prior posts were ~3rd grade/school paper at U of Guatemala, hence (some, barely measurable) improvement.
Suggestions to Myrna: write more like bess (at least like kieth)
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 1:21PM
swallows too
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 1:23PM
keith would be a start. bess might be asking too much of her. but, agree with you anal-yst.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 1:24PM
Write more like keith (at least like bess)
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 1:33PM
I get the feeling that Myrna didn't really read this book.
Posted by Captain Stabbin , Sep 19, 2007 1:43PM
Hey Carney,
Still waiting on that "introduction" to Myrna, as well as those noods you promised me.
Posted by Accountant , Sep 19, 2007 1:50PM
Is Myrna hot?
I wanna see some moss!
for all my troubles here
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 1:56PM
Pay attention , Accountant. She has already appeared on Wallstrip.
Posted by Accountant , Sep 19, 2007 1:57PM
occupational/personality hazard
Posted by TR , Sep 19, 2007 2:07PM
hey anonymous, the comments you've posted so far make me think that you either didn't get enough love from mom and dad as a child (or alternatively got too much). You sound like your emotional growth stunted around elementary school, as your insults sound like they came from a 3rd grader.
See, I was able to advance my own ego, and improve my mood just by writing this anonymous post on the comment section of a blog, and I don't have to worry about any retribution or public scorn for my comments since I dindn't put my name.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 2:08PM
RE: 2:07
Your name is TR?
Posted by TR , Sep 19, 2007 2:13PM
obviously not... or I would have been lying when I said I didn't put my name on there.
Posted by FDR , Sep 19, 2007 2:14PM
TR is actually my uncle, former President Theodore Roosevelt. He's quite famous and most people recognize his intials.
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 2:18PM
This is getting old
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 2:20PM
this is all rather amusing.
Posted by The original Accountant , Sep 19, 2007 2:21PM
Wallstrip is dilenantish, not gonna watch it.
is Myrna hot or not?
Posted by , Sep 19, 2007 2:27PM
Dammit, Accountant, do your own due diligence.