Andrew Krucoff is a notorious internet troublemaker. In the last couple of years, he’s served time interviewing young New Yorkers for Gothamist, crashing parties for Gawker, getting fired by Conde Nast and editing the web site of the 92nd Street Y. He also runs a blog called Young Manhattanite, which an eclectic mix of stories of his adventures in New York and essays on his various enthusiasms and objects of his derision.
Recently he headed off to Eastern Europe, leaving Young Manhattanite in the hands of a female friend named Dana. In one item posted on Friday, Dana describes a trip to “the Riverhead,” a strip club in Long Island City. After Krucoff leaves her side to pursue some sort of exchange with the eastern European employees of the club, Dana runs into two young men she describes as “two jackass I-bankers, the likes of which I've never seen at the Riverhead.”
After the jump, Dana learns where the investment banking duo earned their stripes, and how they wound up in a strip club in Long Island City.
They were fascinated to find a clothed woman at the bar, so they chatted me up in that charmless, aging frat boy/rapist way that really turns me on. "This place is a dump," Asshole # 1 said, taking a sip of his Amstel Light."Lemme guess, you live in CityLights, don't you."
"Nope." He shooed one of the dancers away.
"Then what the fuck are you doing here," I sneered.
"We were playing golf on Long Island. We're on our way back to Manhattan."
"Aha! Wait, lemme guess again. You live in...Murray Hill. No, wait, the Upper East Side. No! Wait, I know...the Financial District." I poked at the embroidered Lehman Brothers logo on his polo shirt. He was beginning to get annoyed. "So, you're a banker! At Lehman Brothers!"
"Well, not anymore. I used to be-"
"Hey, Andrew!" Krucoff had finally reappeared. "This guy works at Lehmann Brothers!" I poked his chest again. "He plays golf and thinks the girls here are ugly."
I think Krucoff realized at this point that we had to leave before the former lacrosse players cleaned his clock. I was almost out of money and tired of drinking Budweiser. It seemed as good a time as any to end the evening.
I'm the TR 808 [Young Manhattanite]
Posted by , Sep 05, 2007 10:46AM
Who are the wankers in this picture? The banker golfers chasing some pay as you go ass, or the liberals playing in the same arena and looking down on the bankers for doing so?
Posted by John Carney , Sep 05, 2007 10:58AM
We report, you deride.
Posted by urk , Sep 05, 2007 11:00AM
Ex-Lehman at a sleazy ho-down in declasse LIC and behaving like a prick? I've long ago grown tired of hearing Lehman people crow about how they're truly a "bulge bracket firm" (yawn, who cares?). But this is more pathetic than that even. I dare say these guys were Lehman wanna-bes. And that's something nobody should ever aspire to.
Posted by Dana , Sep 05, 2007 11:12AM
Anonymous, I'd have to say that the wankers in this picture are the people who don't fucking tip the dancers--namely, the Lehman Brahs.
Do all you Wall Street types wear employer-logo'd jerseys when you go out in public? Seems so nouveau riche.
PS I'm not a liberal.
PPS I tend to agree that they were wanna-bes. One of them asked me if I could score him some coke. What Wall Street kid doesn't already have a dealer on speed dial?
Posted by jcd , Sep 05, 2007 11:31AM
was lockhart steel there too?
Posted by Blunt Smoke , Sep 05, 2007 11:36AM
hehe bulge
what is a bulge bracket and how big is the buldge?
btw nothing wrong with company logo'd stuff, it's ok, but it'd be GREAT if you could get a callsign on the back like "Maverick" or "Fromunda"
Posted by Blunt Smoke , Sep 05, 2007 11:38AM
WOW, WHAT AN AMAZING STORY, seriously someone wakeup Steinbeck
Posted by urk , Sep 05, 2007 11:41AM
I don't frequent strip clubs; I don't wear any logo-emblazoned clothing; I tip generously; I don't run my yap about who I work for or what I do; and, no, I don't have a coke dealer, a meth dealer, a pot dealer, or any drug dealer on speed dial. I don't use drugs: my life's more than enough of a high. All I'm guilty of is a cold beer or gin and tonic after work.
And I'm not unique. Most of my colleagues could say the same. Tarring everybody on the Street just because you met some wanna-bes doesn't make you a reliable narrator.
Posted by ltjbukem , Sep 05, 2007 11:49AM
it doesnt sound from the story like these guys did anything wrong but go to a strip club in long island city. bad taste, true. but suddenly they are being harassed by some drunk chick with a chip on her shoulder.
ps my firm happens to give out nicer golf shirts than any i have seen at the pro shops so yes, i do wear them when i play golf
Posted by kigol , Sep 05, 2007 11:53AM
Do all you emo "Fuck the world cause the world fucked me" hipsters trash anyone who gets paid well because you have an insecurity complex?
PS. Wannabes or not those guys sound like large fucking tools.
Posted by thain , Sep 05, 2007 11:55AM
Agreed with ltjbukem -- the bankers seem like the good guys in this story.
Idiotic blogger minions get no high-ground to criticize others for patronizing the same seedy establishment.
Posted by Dana , Sep 05, 2007 11:57AM
Hey, I don't mean to tar you all with the same brush--that's why I asked if everyone wore logo'd rugby shirts.
I have to say that many of the Wall Street types I've known have been really nice and generous--*always* willing to shell out for the abortions.
Posted by urk , Sep 05, 2007 12:11PM
Dana, you just crossed into "I don't trust a thing you say" territory. Way to devalue your own currency.
Had you shut up, I'd have mostly believed what you wrote. Now, I don't believe a word of it. Pity that.
Posted by Scarpe , Sep 05, 2007 12:17PM
this chick needs some counseling for anger and insecurity issues. and i bet she was digging the strippers or tipping them at least. so mebbe some counseling to ease her out of the closet too.
Posted by turgid , Sep 05, 2007 12:20PM
Wait, so this Dana hates bankers but is posting on Dealbreaker?
Oh, I get it, Dana fashions herself a rabble-rouser. She's like a snotty, LES-version of Julia Allison.
Done with Dana, next.
Posted by Aww Yeah , Sep 05, 2007 12:26PM
No hate for lipstick lesbians! Big Ups!
Posted by , Sep 05, 2007 12:33PM
umm right, booyakasha or something
Posted by Anon , Sep 05, 2007 12:34PM
Hey Carney, I don't get it. You write that Krucoff goes to Eastern Europe leaving the website in Dana's hands, but at the same time he accompanies Dana to a strip club in Long Island City. WTF?!
"Notorious internet troublemaker" ??
Sounds like you're being too nice here, Carney. What do you really think of this guy?
Posted by , Sep 05, 2007 1:04PM
Aww Yeah what makes you think she is a lipstick lesbian? i'm betting the opposite.
in no small part because pretty people, being more accepted by society growing up, don't usually have crappy attitudes towards the establishment like this "lady"
Posted by jcd , Sep 05, 2007 1:06PM
Krucoff got fired by Conde Nast because of Jessica Coen. Jessica Coen now works at Conde Nast. Watch out Andrew, Dana'll have yours next. Unless, of course, it's Dana Vachon.
Posted by Scarpe , Sep 05, 2007 1:11PM
i told you she was in the closet. she prolly came here looking for more on those gay black boots that vespa wanted.
Posted by Dana , Sep 05, 2007 1:35PM
Sorry, urk, I was being sarcastic about the abortions. (I've always paid for my own. Always!)
I'd like to clarify something as well, because clearly some of you haven't actually read the linked post. I haven't generalized about I-bankers or any of your ilk. I've made scurrilous and defamatory comments about *two specific men* who may or may not even work at Lehman Brothers. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that in contrast, you all appear to be upstanding gentlemen, possessed of refined wit. Call me any time you need coke!
Posted by urk , Sep 05, 2007 1:49PM
Your generalizations were made in the comments section HERE. And I read the link: Congrats on getting the e-ogonek for Polish; but why no Estonian? I know it's Finno-Ugric not Slavic, but I thought you were smart or something.
Enjoy your strippers, coke, and slaughtered Central/Eastern European repartee. Even still: Ja myślię nie mówiłasz prawdi. Bye now.
Posted by Cooter Brown , Sep 05, 2007 1:51PM
For God's sake, will you people quit comparing yourselves and your commode hugging, "show-your- titties or who knows what else" drinking adventures to the one and only time I ever got drunk???? Jesus. I'm sick of it all.
Posted by Anonymous , Sep 05, 2007 2:27PM
Who tips strippers anyhow? I mean, you tip them just enough to be able to sit along the stage. A few weeks ago me and my buddies went to a strip club and spent $4 total.