The whole mortgage meltdown situation—don’t much get it, don’t much care. Per usual, we’re not really interested in delving a lot further than “Who’s to Blame?” but apparently, we can’t even do that right. Previously, we (in cahoots with Bear Stearns, who’s always in cahoots with someone) had sent singing telegrams dripping with vitriol and pipe bombs to the poor and Alan Greenspan. Over the weekend, we found out that represented a grave error in judgment on our part (conveniently, we—meaning me—were able to atone for our misguided sins against the country’s underprivileged/that crazy old guy. Carney, having no such get out of jail free card, will be going to hell).
As a guest on Rupert Murdoch’s “Forbes on Fox,” Richard Karlgaard, publisher of the magazine, was asked by host David Asman “what’s the deal” with home foreclosures, the economy, etc. His response, if you’re not Jerry Falwell taking part in this dialogue from the grave, may surprise you:
Well, what I think is that we're seeing the first generation of home buyers who, in school, were taught to put condoms on bananas instead of learning about compound interest. This is not a good thing, but, ah, we have to work our way through it and the only way the market can clear, as Neal [Neal Weinberg, a senior editor at Forbes] said, is for the foreclosures to happen.
Other horrible events you can trace back to schools teaching kids to put condoms on bananas include but are certainly not limited to: 9/11, the theory of evolution and Global Alpha’s disastrous August (which actually hinted toward Sex Ed. being to blame in an earlier version of its letter to the investors).
Incidentally, if this was meant to be a preview for what we can expect from the Fox Business Network, color us excited. High school health classes have been getting a pass for TOO LONG.
The Publisher of Forbes Magazine, a Regular on Fox, Blames the Mortgage Meltdown on Sex Ed [News Hounds]
Posted by The Humorist , Sep 24, 2007 10:51AM
The story is too ripe for humor, puns, etc., and as a professional I shall stay out of this thread. Carry on.
Posted by , Sep 24, 2007 11:02AM
Not being as professional as The Humorist ....... I will comment that you just have to love a 26 year old liberal chick from NJ.
Instead of focusing on the fact that he was saying high school kids are not learning real world skills and knowledge, she tries to take his comparison out of context because she has decided that Fox News is her windmill.
I'll let others take that literary comparison out of context. Do the read Don Quixote in school anymore?
Posted by , Sep 24, 2007 11:02AM
Not being as professional as The Humorist ....... I will comment that you just have to love a 26 year old liberal chick from NJ.
Instead of focusing on the fact that he was saying high school kids are not learning real world skills and knowledge, she tries to take his comparison out of context because she has decided that Fox News is her windmill.
I'll let others take that literary comparison out of context. Do they read Don Quixote in school anymore?
Posted by , Sep 24, 2007 11:05AM
she's 23.
Posted by , Sep 24, 2007 11:06AM
last i checked, knowing how to put a condom on is probably the MOST USEFUL THING you can learn.
Posted by Pappy Brown , Sep 24, 2007 11:09AM
I learned about compound interest in highschool but never got to college because my girlfriend got pregnant.
Posted by , Sep 24, 2007 11:09AM
We weren't taught compounded interest OR food pyramid protection in high school. And yet my portfolio is pregnant with possibilities.
Posted by dwyer , Sep 24, 2007 11:16AM
not sure whats the REAL beef here.
The guy made a point, somwhat colorfully, about the fact that millions of Americans engaged in moronic financial behavior, largely because they had no idea what the hell was coming if rates moved up even modestly.
still, rubbers are always worth blogging about I suppose.
Posted by Shecky Buffett , Sep 24, 2007 11:20AM
We can all take a ribbing about rubbers.
Posted by Pepe leDouche , Sep 24, 2007 11:21AM
I still don't know how to compound interest, and I've never had the opportunity to use a condom
Posted by , Sep 24, 2007 11:26AM
yes, a lot of normal people acted moronically. however whats his excuse for the bigger morons that lent them the money? I would have to say the biggest fools in all this mess are the people who actually lent the money. They had the data and the knowledge to know better (they learned compound interest and bannana felating), I mean come one now a NINJA loan, what jackass came up with that? Then some supposedly smart investment/hedge fund manager actually bought a CDO made up of those. Everyone involved in this mess should be forced to sleep in a bed of pig poo for the rest of their lives.
Posted by Mike Cervantes , Sep 24, 2007 11:29AM
11:02:
Just because Bess points out Fox News and its personnel are obsessed with one eyed monsters, doesn't mean that she actually thinks they are ccyclopes.
Also that was a very clever literary allusion you used there. You are like the great Homer taking us on a great Odyssey of mental masturbation. GET IT GET IT, does anyone read the Odyssey in school anymore?
Ass Clown
Posted by Mike Cervantes , Sep 24, 2007 11:30AM
11:02:
Just because Bess points out Fox News and its personnel are obsessed with one eyed monsters, doesn't mean that she actually thinks they are ccyclopes.
Also that was a very clever literary allusion you used there. You are like the great Homer taking us on a great Odyssey of mental masturbation. GET IT GET IT, does anyone read the Odyssey in school anymore?
Ass Clown
Posted by ass clown , Sep 24, 2007 11:32AM
well at least we know you read
Posted by , Sep 24, 2007 11:38AM
@ Mike C
Awfully touchy, aren't we?
Posted by anyway , Sep 24, 2007 11:42AM
if anyone bothered to click on the link, you'd see the profile for News Hound (26 year old female from NJ) that watches Fox "so you don't have to"
Posted by , Sep 24, 2007 11:45AM
if you're so dumb you can't figure out how to put on a condom, you'll never manage any type of math (or much else for that matter)
Posted by Undereducated , Sep 24, 2007 11:50AM
Yeah, well they taught us how to put on a condom, but I had to learn how to install a cock ring from a 48 yr old hooker....
The system is setting us up to fail.
Posted by Barry Zuckercorn , Sep 24, 2007 12:30PM
Bess,
I believe this to be an opportunity to expand the Mr. Banana Grabber franchise into the teaching aids market.
As per: Creative control, spin-off rights and theme park approval for Mr. Banana Grabber, Baby Banana Grabber, and any other Banana Grabber family character that might emanate there from.
Regards,
Posted by gab , Sep 24, 2007 1:07PM
This is just the answer a guy named "Assman" is looking for.
Is that a banana in your pocket...
Posted by George Sr. , Sep 24, 2007 2:13PM
There's always money in the banana stand ...
Posted by Circular Reference , Sep 24, 2007 3:07PM
Ok so lets map this out so we can figure out who's to blame:
Borrowers kept borrowing because of low rates, the hype of the american dream, innovative (sometimes predatory) lending arrangements by borrowers, etc. Lenders (countrywide, etc) kept originating loans because there was continued high demand from both borrowers and investors of their products. Investors/banks kept buying because their clients (hedge funds, cdo's, etc) kept demanding mortgage assets...
Keep going with this and its soon apparently that no one party or group was solely responsible for this mess, but as is the case with most corrections, the parties involved fell prey to the belief that things would stay good indefinitely and the unwillingness to be the 1st to say the sky is falling
Posted by juristpurist , Sep 24, 2007 4:36PM
Why are they mutually exclusive? The feelings of shame and disgust one gets from an ARM ass raping might be somewhat mitigated by knowing that one might not get the dreaded "Del Monte Crabs".