Cutting The FaceBook/Microsoft Deal Rumor Off At The Knees

Posted by Bess Levin, Sep 28, 2007, 12:08pm

zucks.JPGBy now you know the rumor that Bill Gates has lost his mind and is considering an investment of $300-500 million for a 5 percent stake in Facebook, which would value the social networking site at twice what Rupert Murdoch paid for Dow Jones. (Making trashtastic MySpace worth $11-12 billion, according to Lehman Brothers analyst Vijay Jayant.) The fact that ‘book CEO Mark Zuckerberg was spotted Tuesday in Seattle, according to ‘Fortune’ reporter/stalker David Kirkpatrick, gives weight to the rumor, and lowers the chances that it’s not all some horrible joke and/or plot by Steve Jobs to make Bill Gates bad.

But since we’re still holding out hope that Microsoft isn’t planning on parting ways with a truckload of money for a website filled with worthless plug-in applications and at which one user can “poke” or “tickle” another and then laugh to him or herself about it, we’re going to come up with a more plausible explanation for Zucks’s visit to Washington and stick with it. The continued existence of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, and the disenfranchised who so desperately need its help, depends on this rumor being bull shit. So you tell us:

The real reason Mark Zuckerberg has been seen in Seattle is:

a. Tonight’s Bryan Adams with George Thorogood concert at the WaMu theater

b. For a naughty game of hooky with David Kirkpatrick, who writes that, having “gotten to know [Zuckerberg],” who is “driven by a conviction that what he is doing will make the world a better place” and “is a nicer person than Gates,” has come to the conclusion that “it may be…worth quite a few hundred million for any company to get into bed with Mark Zuckerberg.”

c. Adidas shower shoes.

d. Coffee date at flagship Starbucks with Kofi Annan to discuss how Facebook can get involved in the Arab-Israeli conflict.

e. Annual pilgrimage to Brandon Lee’s grave in Lake View Cemetery.

f. a. and b

g. a. and c.

h. a and d.

i. a and e.

j. b and c.

k. b. and d.

l. b. and e.

m. c and d.

n. all of the above

o. none of the above

Zuckerberg Sightings Fuel Deal Speculation [DealBook]
Facebook CEO visits Seattle, Microsoft schemes [Fortune]

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Posted in: FaceBook

Comments

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 12:17PM

d

Posted by Mark Zuckerberg, Sep 28, 2007 12:19PM

Dude, look, the way I figure it is that whatever someone is willing to offer me, my company must be worth more, right? I mean if someone wants to pay ten billion for something they're only going to do that if they think it's worth more than ten billion, like maybe fifteen billion. But if it's worth fifteen billion then why should I sell it for ten? But then if they offer fifteen billion I know it's probably worth twenty or twenty-five billion. You see the quandary we're in. How do you ever sell something if it keeps going up in value like this? Especially in our case where it keeps going up in value for no apparent reason. And we've got all these crooks trying to steal this company out from under me. I mean sure I'm only fifteen years old and my CFO is still in junior high but we're not stupid, right? I mean I was going to Harvard before I did this. Harvard. Little college back East. Have you heard of it? And what a lot of people don't know is I was the king of poker in our dorm. Never lost a game. You know why? No, not because I was lucky. Because I was smart, but I acted dumb. And I was really good at bluffing. That helped too.

Posted by inIT4the$, Sep 28, 2007 12:19PM

George would (and should) kick Bryan's a** in a fight. Why are they on the same stage. That's all I really care about

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 12:19PM

e

Posted by inIT4the$, Sep 28, 2007 12:19PM

George would (and should) kick Bryan's a** in a fight. Why are they on the same stage. That's all I really care about

Posted by The Understater, Sep 28, 2007 12:21PM

It should have been called "Assbook"

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 12:26PM

n.

Posted by DotHead Banker, Sep 28, 2007 12:34PM

Bess,

You know its true..everything I do…ohhhhhhhhh..I doooooo it for youuuuuuuu Bess,

You know its true..everything I do…ohhhhhhhhh..I doooooo it for youuuuuuuu <3

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 12:35PM

how about p. We here at Dealbreaker think that 9/11 was a funny joke. take that, suckers at Cantor Fitz!

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 12:37PM

12:35, get a new cause.

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 12:39PM

Well, the other post scrolled off the front page.

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 12:45PM

a.

and i will fight you to the death for her, DH Banker.

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 12:46PM

Yeah 12:35, why should you be pissed or expect an apology about making light of the murder of your friends and co-workers. It's not like it's really that important. I'm sure if Bess' family members were killed she'd start posting jokes about it in a couple of years. Get over it.

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 12:51PM

j. no, g.

Posted by ko, Sep 28, 2007 1:55PM

God he's ugly...

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 2:08PM

Bess is probably the kind of person who makes bergen-belsen jokes in temple on yom kippur.

My brother was killed in the 9/11 attack. No, I don't think its funny yet.

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 2:13PM

Well apparently nobody at DB is willing to offer a defense of Bess's post either, since obviously an apology is not forthcoming.

Your silence is telling. Either you are too embarassed to even speak up in your own defense, or you think this issue is trivial and doesn't even warrant a response.

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 2:16PM

it's the latter, buddy. and i'm with them on this one.

Posted by KEITH KEITH, Sep 28, 2007 2:22PM

KEITH KEITH KEITH

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 2:26PM

get a life, you tools. this post was not making light of 9/11, but the pundits/politicians who use it as a tool, over and over, for their own personal gains, and morgan stanley, for being so disgusting as to USE 9/11 AS AN EXCUSE IN A COURT OF LAW. learn what sarcasm means, learn reading comprehension and then start reading dealbreaker again.

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 2:57PM

I'm looking forward to the next follow-up post also joking about 9/11, just so DB can prove that what Anon 2:26 says is what they really meant to begin with

Posted by get over yourself, Sep 28, 2007 3:07PM

and what if 2:56's theory is exactly what DB meant to begin with, 2:57? what would that do to your precious little theory that bess thinks 9/11 is a joke? the funny (/sad) thing is that you don't want to accept that 2:56 might be right, b/c, in that case, you would've have anything to nail yourself to a cross over.

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 3:28PM

You're reading too much into Bess' comments. She just doesn't think 9/11 is that sensitive a subject anymore. A sizeable number of people seem to disagree, some quite strongly.

Posted by Joseph Stalin, Sep 28, 2007 3:32PM

A single death is a tragedy; three thousand deaths is just a fun reference in an idiot's blog

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 3:53PM

Did you turn off comments for this post?

Posted by , Sep 28, 2007 3:54PM

Well turned, Joe.

Posted by these are the idiots who don't get that bess isn't belittling 9/11, Sep 28, 2007 4:00PM

"Did you turn off comments for this post?"

says the guy commenting

Posted by these are the idiots who don't get that bess isn't belittling 9/11 is an idiot, Sep 28, 2007 4:06PM

It was failing for a while several times, genius.

Posted by Oracle, Sep 28, 2007 4:24PM

kids
making fun of 9/11 is wrong, ok

it is wrong, whether you think that i do or do not possess reading comprehension, and whether or not i experience personal apprehension toward the kid who loves to call everyone an idiot (anonymously, of course)

it seems that DB is going through some HR challenges that probably leave the staff stressed out a bit. But life goes on guys. let's be nice, and try to be funny.

Posted by go kill yourself, oracle, Sep 28, 2007 4:28PM

she was being funny, oracle. unlike your sad attempt at a funny comment.

Posted by Oracle, Sep 28, 2007 4:36PM

I was being serious, not funny.
I'll go kill myself now.

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