Before the Fed, Dealbreaker is considering lunch. A little salad action perhaps? Or maybe you’re hung-over, in which case we recommend the duo pepperoni slices with extra Tabasco slathered on those bad boys [nothing like that to get all systems running again after a heavy night out at Scores]. We realize that working in an open environment with either rows of desks or even cubes can cramp a person’s lunch style. Out of consideration for your coworkers and to avoid being publicly flogged/ridiculed/ostracized from the floor here are some foods you may want to avoid while eating at your desk:
ANYTHING and let us repeat that ANYTHING that once resided in a body of water. You may not win friends with salad – but you’re going to make enemies with fish. Just say no.
Indian Food. Sorry, but chicken tiki has a pungent way of filling up even the largest rooms. You don’t want the trading floor smelling like Curry in a Hurry.
There’s something about cooked broccoli that rubs people the wrong way. It’s reminiscent of someone who has serious intestinal distress. Proceed with caution.
Eggs – maybe it’s the touches of sulfur and while not common lunch fare this can be met with a snide utterance along the lines of, “Is SOMEONE eating eggs???” while standing up and publicly humiliating the guilty party.
Surely there are other odious culprits not mentioned on this list that rub people’s noses the wrong way… Feel free to vent to us about your neighbor who eats fish tacos every day for lunch.
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Your list left off the worst offender I’ve ever encountered. I worked next to a polish guy for a while who bought in home made keilbasa drenched in sauerkraut. Not only did this cause a horrible nausea in those around him, it made the microwave he used to reheat it unusable for the rest of the day.
Tiki?
umm…who cares?
Most worthless article ever
i second 1:30′s opinion
buttered popcorn. The smell is still there 30 minutes later.
Anyone having to eat anything at his desk should be publicly flogged/ridiculed/ostracized, because he is definitely at the wrong place (in any way).
1:30: agreed.
Not completely useless, U got a good laugh at the end. I wish I could have eat fish tacos for lunch everyday.
Who are you? Why are you writing about food? How did you know I went to Scores last night?
I wouldn’t necessarily call the article worthless. if it even stops one jerk from eating fish at his desk at lunch today, then it’s worthwhile.
who is this person? she’s fucking terrible,
random banker,
first time i laughed all day.
Once you have the tuna from the carvery @ Ulysses on Friday you will never speak ill of the fish again. As a matter of fact, Myrna Moss, I will treat, this Friday. 12:30
boring, pointless, not funny, badly written
My seven year old writes more creatively. Let me know if you need her to fill in for Myrna until Bess is back in full swing.
I liked the article. I’m surprised no one has mentioned country bumpkins who dip snuff and spit it into a coffee cup on their desk. That’s why the term “dipshit” was invented.
While working in an office of significant “international flavor”, a colleague of mine recounted this story to me:
A significant number of staff were of Chinese, Indian or various other Asian decent. They would reheat their meals in the communal microwave. Needless to say, some of these meals were extremely pungent. One day, one of the minority Caucasian employees raged about the smells emanating from the kitchen/coffee area. He left a large note taped to the microwave to the effect of “No more [pejorative]/[pejorative]/[pejorative] stinky food in the microwave anymore because I can smell that [expletive] and it contaminates my food!”
Being fine global citizens, the purveyors of the scents bought a new second microwave and taped their own note to it – “For Bland Food and Whites Only.”
@ Anonymous 01:57 PM
I wish!
Is Myrna part of some new DealBreaker internship program for the developmentally disabled?
This is the lamest crap I’ve ever seen on DB. For shame.
if you really needed someone, what about Scott Bressler, can he not post from his dorm room?
As someone at somepoint (Carney?) mentioned we are to be getting some sort of ‘introduction’ to this Myrna person. I submit that unless she is all of:
a)spitting image of Cindy Crawford in her heyday
b)available for Weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, Bachelor Parties, etc
c)Going to start writing something quality (this wasn’t terrible, but far below DB standards).
She be summarily dismissed, or, in lieu of such harsh punishment, forced to suffer through no less than 1 year of IB analyst work…wait, uh, whatever you get the point – make it happen!
Agree with JT. We got an intro to Bess and Keith, and they were welcomed with open arms by all of us.
Now this ‘Myrna’ person comes unnounced and tells me I can’t eat many of the things I enjoy, such as Chicken Masala, Beef & Broccoli from Shun Lee, Egg McMuffins, or best of all fish tacos (fish tacos were innuendo for box, muffin, beaver, right? because not all of them smell). If you’re new and coming in swinging like that, you have to be on your a game.
yeah, but the diff is that bess and keith are funny and this girl SUCKS. neither a humorous character nor a good writer.
agree with 9:32…what are you smoking carney?
Come on ppl, she’s not that bad, just a bit of rage in all her articles, I happen to like that. I like some fire in a woman. Is she a red head ? maybe she needs a fireman.
what are you talking about, Reader? this girl has no fire…writing personality of a wet towel.
Myrna – MSM Career page called – they need the last 4 items on their “Top 10 Lunch No-Nos” article back.