Somebody Save Warren Buffett From Himself, Bear Stearns

warrenbuffettwasrobbed.jpgWarren Buffett’s petition for membership to the egalitarian brotherhood of People Who Are Fucking Nuts has been officially accepted. Last year, he decided that Berkshire Hathaway-owned Geico would not take part in the Caveman sitcom. Last week he reduced his company’s investment in genocide to an embarrassingly trivial 8.93 percent. Today comes the news that he’s in serious talks to buy a stake in Bear Stearns. Three times = a trend, this one being WB’s insanity.

The New York Times reports that Buffett first approached James Cayne about the purchase last month, when the bank’s stock was about to celebrate its one-year low of $100. Deals have faltered in the past because the bridge player (first, CEO second) has often insisted on premiums as high as 40 percent above share price from outside investors. This time, and no one can say for certain but it may have something to do with two failed hedge funds, a 61 percent decline in third quarter profits and the fact that BSC can no longer afford its much-needed cleaning staff, Cayne is reportedly holding out for a premium of only around 20 percent.

Bear’s shares jumped on the rumors of possible sale this afternoon, with the stock trading up over 8 percent. Punk Ziegel analyst Richard Bove upgraded BSC from “sell” to “market perform.” Spokesmen for both Bear and Buffett declined to comment, which generally means they’re up to something, though CNBC’s Charlie Gasparino said that he “doubts” the reports are true. (Gasparino also noted with what sounded like hurt feelings that “Jimmy Cayne has not returned my calls,” presumably because it’s a beautiful day for golf.)

In 1987 Buffett took a 12 percent stake in Salomon Brothers, a move he later regretted, finding the “brash Salomon culture of big egos, big risks and even bigger salaries to be out of step with his down-to-earth demeanor.” Hopefully he can be reminded of the bad taste SB left in his mouth, which not even a dozen Oreo Blizzards could purge, before it’s too late. Carney's got the keys to his house-- everyone meets there tonight at 8 for an intervention (power of attorney papers have already been drawn up). We lost him on the Sudan. Let’s not lose him on this.

Earlier: Why Doesn’t Warren Buffett Want To Fund Genocide Anymore?

Buffett Among Those Said to Consider Bear Stake [New York Times]

Comments

Posted by EH, Sep 26, 2007 4:30PM

Freaking amazing. Nice, Bess, nice.

Posted by Quant, Sep 26, 2007 4:37PM

he made out well with Saloman deal, cannot believe he is complaining about it

Posted by joe, Sep 26, 2007 4:57PM

there's no fucking way. i'm sorry. maybe WEB approached Cayne at 100, but he aint paying up and he definitely aint getting into a bidding war with BofA and Wachovia.

The only way this got leaked was by someone at BSC who wanted to goose the price that another bidder has to pay. WEB doesn't have any advisers and certainly wouldn't have leaked this himself, so if it's true at all, BSC has to be the source.

Posted by de Cosmos, Sep 26, 2007 5:06PM

What about the Chinese? I want so much to see it rebranded as Panda Bear Stearns.

Posted by Candy Man, Sep 26, 2007 5:22PM

How come you guys didn't break this story? The candy man says this story is mierda de toro.

Posted by Random Banker, Sep 26, 2007 6:49PM

its funny cause charlie munger called the merger arb group at Saloman "a stick with shit on both ends"

Posted by chinese banker, Sep 26, 2007 8:57PM

huan-ying lai xiong-mao tou-zi yin-hang.

li-yong gong-chan-dang de nao-jin ke-yi zhuan hen-hen duo-duo de qian!

Posted by Jose Aragon, Sep 27, 2007 1:10AM

Once again I find myself jumping to Warren's defense. It's a peanut buster parfait, not an oreo blizzard!

Posted by Jose Aragon, Sep 27, 2007 1:11AM

Once again I find myself jumping to Warren's defense. It's a peanut buster parfait, not an oreo blizzard!

Posted by , Sep 27, 2007 7:22AM

she's not talking about the one in the pic, just the most delicious offering from DQ, dumb ass

Posted by 2L, Sep 27, 2007 2:46PM

@ 4:37

he says it took too much time out of his days. he would have much rather used the money to earn 3/4ths the returns on something that would have only required a 1/100th of his time (like see's)

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