You Must Tell Jeff Skilling He's a Money Laundering Criminal At Least Two Times Before He Will Believe You

Posted by Bess Levin, Sep 07, 2007, 2:27pm

skilling.jpgFormer Enron chief executive-cum-Bubba’s bitch Jeffrey K. Skilling today appealed the criminal convictions (19 charges of fraud, conspiracy, insider trading and misleading auditors) that got him 24 years in prison, and sought a new trial, on the grounds that the government’s case had “profound, inherent weaknesses.” Besides the vague (i.e. golden) argument that there were "serious frailties in the legal theory that federal prosecutors employed to convict Skilling,” the defense team from O’Melveny & Myers also claim that the length of their client’s sentence is unfair (it is four times longer than those of the other Enron execs, six years longer than the average federal sentence for murder). But O’M and M’s pièce de résistance—in our humble opinion—is the argument that it isn’t right to send someone to jail for 24 years just because he/she just happened to draw the shortest straw.

“Someone would have to pay for Enron’s failure,” defense lawyers said. “That someone was Jeff Skilling—the last man standing when the court meted out its punishment.” (“As you well know, Lay dodged that ‘last man standing gets the worst prison sentence’ bullet, but it could’ve just as easily been him. Are you going to penalize our client for not having the foresight to die first? That’s just bad business, gentlemen.”)

The Justice Department will respond with its own filing possibly as early as next month.

Jim Chanos’s take? “Maybe Jeff just misses the scandal limelight. After all, the Enron Boys were a lot more interesting than SIV-lites, "Tier 3" derivative accounting, and missing assets at money-market funds!” (And also, we imagine but cannot say for sure, because this was all over e-mail: unadulterated maniacal laughter.)

Former Enron Chief Appeals Conviction [Washington Post]
Skilling Appeal [CNBC]

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Posted in: Enron, Jeff Skilling

Comments

Posted by Ken Rice, Sep 07, 2007 2:57PM

Jeff was a good negotiator before he started boffing so many analysts, associates and (corp) secretaries.

Should have pinned it on Kenny and gotten any kind of deal. No brainer.

Posted by Double Standard, Sep 07, 2007 4:00PM

If you're going to overstate income, Jeff, do it on a mortgage application, not an SEC filing. Then Congress will look for ways to help you hold on to the fruits of your crime, not indict you and take them away.

Posted by Keeping Tabs, Sep 07, 2007 4:14PM

Good to here from the fake Ken. Are you serving your...what was it?...2 years, 7 months? How do you like that khaki clothing and white socks?

Please don't tell my parents I used to work for Enron. They think I am a career jizz mopper at a peep show.

Loved your comments, Double Standard!

Posted by Natural Gas Traders Hall of Fame, Sep 07, 2007 4:23PM

For what it's worth, in the many years I have traded natural gas---and since the time Enron killed itself with its "intellectual capital"--- I have never heard any employee of any surviving natural gas trading/marketing/producing company ever utter one word of sympathy for any trader or marketer who worked for Enron. I have always wondered about that. But when the "corporate culture" at Enron was equal to a "culture" taken from a sphincter and grown in a Petrie dish, what should one expect?

Posted by Ken Rice, Sep 07, 2007 4:29PM

Lost the Ferrari, kept the Harley. 2&3 out early. What do you think?

KR

Posted by Keeping Tabs, Sep 07, 2007 4:56PM

Well, Fake Ken, the tears at sentencing were a good touch. Also, entering prison "rehab" was a good idea. You'll probably stay at Bastrop for 12 months or so. You gave back the "$13 million" and the ex-wife lost the expensive "Kobe" necklace too. So, wait your 12 months or so and every day look to the west and think of your old buddy Lou Pai sitting on top of his 14,000 footer in Colorado with the alleged stripper wife and think to yourself, "There, but for my incredible stupidity, go I".

Posted by Captain Stabbin, Sep 07, 2007 5:44PM

@KT - incredible, especially that last line.

Posted by , Sep 07, 2007 6:07PM

Vague? You mean the exact same finding made by the Fifth Cir.? Where's Carney on this-- he knows what's up with this ridic prosecution and sentencing.

Posted by Jim Chanos, Sep 07, 2007 7:24PM

Sorry Bess, there was no "maniacal laughter...well, ok, perhaps slightly "maniacal"...JC

Posted by Anon, Sep 07, 2007 11:01PM

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't understand half the finance stories you post on here, but I am definitely sure you didn't understand a single thing in that appellate brief.

There is nothing to ridicule in the fact that Skilling took an appeal. Of course he did, and so would you in his shoes. And, his arguments are not vague or even flimsy -- after he was convicted, the court of appeals that presides over texas (the 5th Circuit) threw out an Enron conviction that relied on the same exact legal theory used against Skilling. One judge on the 5th later indicated that the same holding renders suspect at least 14 of the 19 counts on which Skilling was convicted. Odds are better than average he gets a new trial.

Posted by Anonymous, Sep 09, 2007 4:04AM

Really, Bess, you should have left this one to Carney. You don't know what you're talking about. You know one thing, how one smarts off. Save that for the things that don't count.

Posted by , Sep 10, 2007 12:00AM

my question is who the fuck reads DB at 4am saturday night/sunday morning. Hope anon up there is outa london or something

Posted by , Sep 10, 2007 3:45AM

Agree with the last couple of posts. On the other hand, I do understand most of the things you write about, and am usually in agreement (or at least able to laugh with you). This piece though, deserves the scorn being heaped on it. You do yourselves and your (usually good) website a disservice by posting such uniformed rubbish.

For some perspective from an unbiased, yet well informed journalist, check out:

http://www.gladwell.com/2007/2007_01_08_a_secrets.html

Posted by retarded laywers suck, Sep 10, 2007 8:23AM

disagree w/ the last couple of comments-- which are probably coming from above the law commenters-- because "vauge" was clearly a joke, and this post obviously had no intention of speaking from a legal standpoint, just a humorous one, which it did (well). honestly, know the website you're reading before you read it. this isn't the aclu's homepage.

Posted by , Sep 10, 2007 8:31AM

"Former Enron chief executive-cum-Bubba’s bitch Jeffrey K. Skilling"

Hilarious.

Posted by , Sep 10, 2007 8:33AM

Just to clear things up for those amongst you without a clue, that last was ironic.

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