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Stocks closed lower today on Fed uncertainty, even though the odds are pretty much stacked in favor of Ben Bernanke doing whatever the traders tell him to do. The DJIA was down 77.79 to 13792.47, the S&P 500 lost 9.97 to close at 1531.01, and the Nasdaq fell 0.73 to 2816.71. The firing of some guy at Merrill Lynch sent shares down 2.76% to $65.56.

Sadly, Carney got bumped on "Happy Hour," but can probably be found at the bar where they tape the greatest show on cable TV for at least the next few hours, if anyone's interested (Bull and Bear, in the Waldorf).

Want more? FT Alphaville.