Merrill Lynch Recalibrates Its Definition of “Best Performing” In Light Of The Circumstances

Posted by Bess Levin, Oct 24, 2007, 12:21pm

This is horrifying—the securities firm that just lost $2.24 billion in one quarter is now saying it may be reducing year-end bonuses. Never have we ever been so inclined to say, WTF, O'Neal? WTF. Oh wait, hold on: MER “remains focused on paying its best performing employees competitively.” So what all you Lynchies need to do is ask yourselves, “How much did I suck this quarter, and was it more or less than the guy to my right/left?” Should give you a decent idea about what to expect.

Merrill Lynched [FT Alphaville]

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Posted in: Bonuses, Merrill Lynch

Comments

Posted by , Oct 24, 2007 12:32PM

I guess they will have to walk that one off... so much for the mythical "big bath"

Posted by anonymous, Oct 24, 2007 1:06PM

CAN STAN & AND GET A 40$ MILL REFUND - BASED ON HIS LAST YEAR'S BONUS.

Posted by Stranded, Oct 24, 2007 1:55PM

Now that is some clever wordplay there. Merrill Lynched! How do they do it?

Posted by EE, Oct 24, 2007 4:37PM

@ Stranded

google: Kanye West Merrill Lynched

Posted by Borat, Oct 25, 2007 3:17AM

I'm sure failure will be rewarded with some fat bonuses in our new model crony capitalism. At first that is, until the pot runs dry.

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