Wall Street is a place of legendary stress. And legendary techniques for stress relief. Jim Cramer was once famous for smashing computer key boards. John Mack used to pulverize telephones. We once had an M&A bigshot throw an entire telephone console at us. There are therapists who specialize in dealing with the stresses of life in finance.
And, of course, there are drugs. Lots of drugs. New York City is famously awash in drugs these days. In fact, just the other day a journalist asked us to put her in touch with “Wall Street types who smoke a lot of pot.” We don’t know exactly how to take the assumption that we know about these things but we couldn’t help her anyway. Most of the folks we know prefer their recreation in other forms.
According to an article in the newly businessy BusinessWeek, the use of hard drugs is greatly diminished from the days of yore. And it’s all the fault of Wharton. Or something.
While Wall Street still has its rough edges, the culture is far more straitlaced today than in past eras. "It's more institutionalized," says one hedge fund manager. It's no longer acceptable to deal with your stress by hurling a computer on the floor or by indulging in drink, drugs, or alcohol. As a practical matter, the threat of a lawsuit is much higher than before. And traders are generally a more professional group than in past decades. "There weren't as many Wharton MBAs on the scene during the 80s," says the fund manager, who spoke on condition that he not be identified.Today, when drugs are employed against stress, they're more likely to be the prescription variety. Another hedge fund manager, speaking on condition of anonymity, says he has been taking antidepressants for years. While his work didn't cause his depression, it can exacerbate it. That can lead to a modification in medication or work habits. He once even closed a particularly troublesome fund at the urging of his wife, who said it was leading to severe stress that was affecting his behavior and disrupting their marriage.
There certainly are a lot more people in finance putting on the Ritz and taking the A-Train—that is, taking Ritalin and Adderall—than there were in the days before the little pills that could were invented. But is usage of the hard stuff really down as far as the article claims? If so, then Wall Street must have been under a permanent blizzard in those days.
Gives new meaning to the idea of not trusting anyone over forty. They’re probably a drug addict.
Stressed Out on Wall Street [Business Week]






Posted by bud , Oct 15, 2007 2:27PM
What's Wall St coming to when you can't have 2-3 martinis at lunch and do a ton of blow at happy hour?
Posted by Calgary Schmooze , Oct 15, 2007 2:33PM
Where's the investigative journalism that probes the hyper-aggressive A-type personalities who are leathered and collared subs after-hours or who are cuckolds because their stress level has affected their physiology so much that even a freighter of Vitamin V couldn't help?
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 2:43PM
i am in the trenches and it's pretty much everywhere still don't worry.
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 2:49PM
ah, just living the dream on Wall St...impotent at 49 and 1.5 hr commute back to the Island every day
Posted by happy on wall , Oct 15, 2007 3:00PM
dear anon,
with an 1.5 hour commute, shouldnt you just stay in town? I mean the babes in Manhattan are easier and more fun mrs anon, right?
Posted by Anonymous , Oct 15, 2007 3:10PM
Studies show that these Wharton MBA's types no longer indulge in drugs and alcoholic beverages but rather making personal websites about what C-list movies that they have appeared in as stand-ins, and responding to personal ads on Match.com.
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 3:12PM
and give up the 1.5 acre palace for the missus, nathan and brittany? never.
Posted by Bud Fox , Oct 15, 2007 3:16PM
Yes, while the old timers waste their time partying, drinking and getting laid, the Wharton MBAs focus on work. Sounds fine to me.
Posted by girl , Oct 15, 2007 3:34PM
@ happy on wall...
what does an impotent guy care if the girls are easy? that's like taking an anorexic to the pastry counter at blathazar and showing her the goods.
Posted by can't buy love, but can rent it , Oct 15, 2007 3:54PM
at scores on saturday i was blowing rails with a stripper before barebacking her in the champagne room
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 4:04PM
gross
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 4:08PM
Looks like the CraigsList chick found a date.
Mazel tov, can't buy me love @ 3:54 pm.
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 4:09PM
link?
Posted by can't buy love, but can rent it , Oct 15, 2007 4:14PM
granted, may not have been the smartest decision, but i don't always see straight when i'm snowblind. wasn't cheap, but then again, not working on the street to save money
Posted by slimjim , Oct 15, 2007 4:15PM
It is no secret that most of the men that work on wall street these days are closet fags who dress like they are Metro pretending to be Gordon Gekko. But when they get home after a night of debauchery what they really want is some big black man meat. Hillary in 08.
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 4:24PM
can't buy love - hey at least you weren't smoking cigarettes because as we all know that is the real evil in this city.
and you have a great story (can we all agree that we are sick of reading how some of th best traders on the street play a mean game of chess). bareback may have been somewhat agressive, but good luck with getting the all clear.
Posted by Anal_yst , Oct 15, 2007 4:35PM
can't buy love - I feel you, did something similar a few weeks back, still haven't heard the a-ok from the Dr but no worries bro its all good, er, i hope...er, i mean, uh
Posted by Been there done that , Oct 15, 2007 4:40PM
@can't buy love
There is definitely sex in the champagne room. The distinction between stripper and whore is tenuous at best. What're the odds you picked up AIDS, do you think?
Posted by can't buy love, but can rent it , Oct 15, 2007 4:41PM
anyone know how long it takes for something to show up? my girl gets back on friday from visiting her parents in denver
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 4:54PM
@ can't buy love
does your girl know that she is strictly a rental with no lease to own option? cuz if not, now might be the time to tell her. then it won't really matter how long it takes for something to show up.
problem solved.
Posted by Senator Craig , Oct 15, 2007 4:56PM
Thats why you never have sex with a woman, Man on man is the cleanist sex there is. No one get STDs from man on man. I am a power bottom.
Posted by can't buy love, but can rent it , Oct 15, 2007 4:59PM
i'd say odds on the hiv are pretty low since this was strictly vag. clearly not the smartest thing to do, but the horse has left the barn at this point
Posted by Anal_yst , Oct 15, 2007 5:07PM
Welcome to the 'waiting period' brohamster. Dr. told me it takes a few weeks for some stuff to show up, so just make sure to check your junk in the meantime. Seems as if you don't pick up anything relatively minor, chances are (again relatively) pretty good that you didn't get something major.
In the words of the late, great Van Wilder, "don't be a fool, wrap your tool, especially with strippers and whooass [sic]"
Posted by nm , Oct 15, 2007 5:07PM
Gotta wait at least (!) six weeks before tests can detect HIV. Worst thing to do is to go a few days after the acc... incident and feel reliefed once the results are in.
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 5:08PM
@ can't buy love
its all about the bench mark. you should take some comfort in the fact that the
the snow storm is a minor detail in the "bareback story".
and the moral of the story.... at least you didn't have a cigarette.
Posted by bizwriter , Oct 15, 2007 5:09PM
Aha, the real truth comes out. There was a horse in the champagne room at Scores!
Posted by can't buy love, but can rent it , Oct 15, 2007 5:12PM
well then i'm fucked cuz its gonna be damn near impossible to have an excuse for wearing a rubber again when she gets back
Posted by just asking , Oct 15, 2007 5:14PM
who under the age of 60 calls it a "rubber"?
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 5:22PM
just tell her you saw some bumps on your ish, and that you're 99.9999% sure its a rash from shaving dry with dull mach 3, and you just want to be 100% sure because you love her, obviously
Posted by Been there done that , Oct 15, 2007 5:23PM
@ can't buy love
Yeah well all vag has the added benefit of you not riding the real A-Train straight to Hedes.
But what're the chances a baby is going to show up on your next AmEx statement?
Anyway I had my adventure a while back... and never got tested. I figured if it was anything that could get cured it would show up on its own and if it wasn't anything that could be cured then I really don't want to know. Of course, syphilis is always an issue.
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 5:25PM
@ been there done that
you work for the cheney/bush adminstration don't you?
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 5:25PM
@ been there done that
you work for the cheney/bush adminstration don't you?
Posted by girl , Oct 15, 2007 5:36PM
this is some seriously enlightening commentary
@ Anon 5:22, i know you probably think girls will believe anything, but no one gets tasted for razor burn
Posted by LippyTex , Oct 15, 2007 5:44PM
I started up the ladder of success by being a retail rep for a regional gasoline chain in the late 1970s. (Oh, and I still call them rubbers. Condoms, not the company I worked for.)
Anyway, I met the guy who sold all the rubbers and novelties in service station bathrooms between Oklahoma and Canada. He also sold a novelty item called "Instant Pussy". For 25 cents you spun the wheel on the rubber/novelty cabinet in the dirty men's room and out popped what looked like a little cardboard rubber packet but in it was the "Instant Pussy". Lurid descriptions were written on the wrapper as well as instructions. You opened the packet and there was a clear capsule with what looked like a sponge in it. You put it in a glass of water and the capsule disolved and the sponge expanded into the shape of.....a cat! Ha ha ha.
The rubes bought shitloads of those things. The salesman made a great living. Fast-forward to present time and I was describing the "Instant Pussy" novelty to one of our credit analysts and she cracked everyone up when she asked, "Wouldn't it be too small?". You can still get the product in some fine bathrooms near Gackle, ND, I am told.
Posted by @ been there done that , Oct 15, 2007 5:47PM
only ~1 in 500 if you know she has aids, ~1 in 200,000 assuming she is just a random member of the US pop. (unprotected)
Posted by Why Buy The Cow? , Oct 15, 2007 8:10PM
enough with the aids talk....straight, non drug using dudes dont get it unless you're mashing bitches dinner raw dog.
i've been hooking up with random filthys at the strip clubs and the full service clubs since day i arrived in the city 6 years ago and only thing ive ever caught was a cold.
Posted by , Oct 15, 2007 11:33PM
how can i convince my doc i need adderall?
Posted by Techno Viking , Oct 16, 2007 1:10AM
Drugs? Sex? Wall St? everyone knows that now all we need is a relaxing vacation in Germany to dance our cares away...
http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=371680
Posted by J$ , Oct 16, 2007 3:03AM
RE: how to convince doc to prescribe Addies
Do not tell her that you tried some of your friend's pills in college and you liked it. If you weren't prescribed it before, maybe say your brother had it prescribed to him and it helped him focus. Otherwise, shop around, different docs have different opinions.
Posted by A Train , Oct 16, 2007 10:01AM
Definitely tell your doctor that your job involves spending long hours concentrating on very detailed tasks and that you are having trouble staying focussed. Mention that you are afraid your work is suffering and that you are worried your bosses will notice. Do not indicate that you have a drug already in mind. If you don't get a prescription for adderall, you have a doctor who is irrationally phobic of drugs or thinks you have already exhibited "drug seeking" behavior. Time to change docs.
Posted by can't buy love, but can rent it , Oct 16, 2007 10:17AM
@ been there, done that:
that's why i'm strictly a cash guy bro. used a fake name, no plastic. the odds of this ukrainian (or whatever ex-soviet she was) puttana finding me in manhattan are about 1.5mm-1, so i'll take my chances.
Posted by AJ , Oct 16, 2007 6:13PM
A day late but:
"...Charlie Santaularia, 24, a managing director at Parrot Trading Partners, a $12 million hedge fund with offices in Denver and Lawrence, Kan..."
I'm sorry, is BW really quoting a guy with a $12 mm fund?