Yella + Janice Forever

By Bess Levin

When we said we weren’t fucking with you about continuing to write about the Jeffrey Epstein case, we weren’t fucking with you. The new allegations from Maximilia née Maximilian Cordero via her lawyer, William Unroch, about what went on when she/he/whatever hung out at Jeffrey Epstein’s apartment a few times during 2000 in an effort to “just be a model” are, among other things, that: Epstein knew that Cordero was a man and told Max, “You know we’re friends, you should not feel bad. Victoria’s Secret is that a lot of models are transgender. Why do you think they are so tall? Most runway models are, that’s why the height and body requirements are so rare”; an employee of Epstein (presumably Sarah Kellen), quelled Cordero’s reservations about the type of massage Epstein is known to be fond of by describing it as “a special massage” and saying “don’t worry, Rome wasn’t built in a day”; Victoria’s Secret head Leslie Wexner gave Epstein permission to use the VS name to “harass and trap young models and teenage girl into performing sex acts…in return for promises of a modeling career” with the lingerie company; during one of the many spa sessions that took place, Epstein put on a red wig and lipstick and said to Cordero, “Call me Janice”; and that on at least on occasion, Cordero told Epstein “I’m Old Yella,” barked like a dog, and threatened to bite him.
What we’re getting from all this is that we are in the presence of two freaks in love who’ve yet to find other people with whom they can have truly freaky though perhaps-at-times-tender sex. Honestly, would you really be surprised if we found out this whole thing wasn’t some sort of elaborate hoax cooked up by Epstein and Cordero that the two are getting off on as we speak? I submit you would not. We (but mostly John) are all just pawns in their sick game. Kind of makes you feel bad for Unroch, who probably doesn’t even know he’s getting played by that tranny. Oh well– it’ll make a good story for the blog.
(And if it’s not a joke between Epstein and Cordero, then Unroch took it too far with the wig and lipstick. That’s just not believable. Epstein’s about massages and jerking off into terry-cloth, not cross-dressing. Rule ONE of extortion states that you must know your victim’s M.O. before you try to rob him blind. Honestly, it’s like learn your fucking lesson day around here.)

Epstein: ‘Call Me Janice’ [Radar]

Comments (15)

  1. 1
    Posted by Nominate me | October 24, 2007 at 4:28 PM

    Is it wrong that I’m sitting at my desk, watching quotes on screen 1, writing emails on screen 2, and refreshing dealbreaker again and again on screen 3 in hopes that another Epstein story will run?

  2. 2
    Posted by Stranded | October 24, 2007 at 4:29 PM

    Wow, and all this time I thought you were fucking with me.

  3. 3
    Posted by blake | October 24, 2007 at 4:35 PM

    I am not fucking with you. I made $970,000 last year, how much did you make? You see pal, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing.

  4. 4
    Posted by Anonymous | October 24, 2007 at 4:38 PM

    wtf. just … wtf.

  5. 5
    Posted by Anonymous | October 24, 2007 at 4:40 PM

    Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father? Fuck you!

  6. 6
    Posted by Janice | October 24, 2007 at 4:59 PM

    Hi

  7. 7
    Posted by Anonymous | October 24, 2007 at 5:02 PM

    Fuck you. That’s my name. You know why, mister? ‘Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That’s* my name.

  8. 8
    Posted by Dave Moss | October 24, 2007 at 5:07 PM

    You’re such a hero, you’re so rich, how come you’re coming down here wasting your time with such a bunch of bums?

  9. 9
    Posted by won't be fooled again | October 24, 2007 at 5:11 PM

    That does it. From now on I’m only ogling completely naked models.

  10. 10
    Posted by Curious Observer | October 24, 2007 at 6:12 PM

    It’s entirely possible that at least one of the Victoria’s Secret models of past or present is a man.
    Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome makes an XY embryo develop into a woman without a uterus or ovaries. They typically have long legs, big boobs, clear skin, long thick hair, and little to no body hair.
    Accordingly, any woman who fits the description—like a tall, skinny model—can be suspected of having XY genes in an XX body.
    As far as Maximilia goes, finding out that she’s a tranny explains her unsettling appearance.

  11. 11
    Posted by The More Money Maker Than You Guy | October 24, 2007 at 10:27 PM

    I made $970 BILLION last year . Yeah I did, had to arrest my brain they did, they sure did, arrested it you know… in the can, the slammer…..made too much money…JP court you see…with white powdered wigs and all…

  12. 12
    Posted by Anonymous | October 25, 2007 at 5:51 AM

    Nice one (quote) funny.. Unroch wasn’t thorough

  13. 13
    Posted by Larry Craig | October 25, 2007 at 6:17 AM

    hmmm…Do you think Epstein takes it in the A$$?

  14. 14
    Posted by tommy H | October 25, 2007 at 8:09 AM

    thank god for Jeffrey, finally got me & off the frontpage of this rag.

  15. 15
    Posted by Anonymous | October 25, 2007 at 10:36 AM

    This chick has balls.

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