Crab Hands Jr. Is Off The Market

Posted by Bess Levin, Nov 12, 2007, 5:54pm

schwarzmanmarriage.jpgStephen and Ellen Schwarzman’s son, Edward “Teddy” Schwarzman, was married off Saturday evening to Ellen Maria Zajac, daughter of Ellen and John Zajac. (Ellen DeGeneres performed a couple of sets during cocktail hour and just before the cutting of the cake, and Ellen Barkin sat at table 19. Over dinner, someone mentioned something about Teddy finally fulfilling his life-long dream of marrying a woman with the same name as his favorite actress, Grey’s Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo.) So sad and, yet, kind of meh (call us when Daniel Loeb’s unborn son is no longer available, then we’ll be upset. NB: Carney does not share the indifference. When I’m finished with this, I’ll go try and talk him off the ledge). One DealBreaker spy in attendance for the nuptials reports that “there were fireworks after dessert” and talk that Schwarzman junior had been encouraged to “marry for money,” on account of the family business falling on hard times.

Ellen Zajac and Teddy Schwarzman [NYT]

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Posted in: Blackstone, Mergers & Acquisitions

Comments

Posted by dude, Nov 12, 2007 5:46PM

why the hell is he in law?

Posted by , Nov 12, 2007 6:09PM

Did he marry the girl from scrubs?

Posted by AJ, Nov 12, 2007 6:16PM

Jamaica? That's really trashy

Posted by Bulging Bracket, Nov 12, 2007 6:40PM

Gaining experience outside of the family firm is a good idea. This way he can get hired and have less complaints about nepotism. She is a dead ringer for Sarah Chalke, the girl from Scrubs aka Becky#2 from Roseanne!

Posted by Spot, Nov 12, 2007 7:06PM

That's funny, I thought he looks just like Zach Braff.

Also, I giggled at this line: "They met at Duke, from which they received their law degrees, he cum laude."

Posted by Credit Crisis, Nov 12, 2007 7:17PM

The bride and bridegroom are associates at law firms in New York. She is in the structured finance practice at Thacher Proffitt & Wood, where she works in residential mortgage-backed securities

Posted by Mazal tov, Nov 12, 2007 7:20PM

She doesn't appear to be jewish...is that kosher?

Posted by Jeffrey Epstein Esq., Nov 12, 2007 8:12PM

betcha after I get out of jail I'll be slipping her my fat cock

Posted by strong black man, Nov 12, 2007 8:38PM

lucky sperm club asshole

Posted by Hillbilly Banker, Nov 12, 2007 8:39PM

"He cum laude" ?? Man, they show do print personal thangs in all yalls newspapers.

Posted by , Nov 12, 2007 9:05PM

How tall is he?

Posted by English student, Nov 12, 2007 11:13PM

Really ? Am I gonna be invited to the wedding?

Posted by pierre, Nov 13, 2007 12:24AM

odds on her converting and/or the kids being raised in the Tribe?

Posted by Mort Glickman, Nov 13, 2007 8:17AM

I was so disappointed. Teddy marrying a shiksa and they served pork at the reception ! Oy vey.

Posted by Drano, Nov 13, 2007 9:17AM

Odds being 100%, pierre. You know that crap never works the other way -even if she has some sense of herself, they'll make a mission of it to wear her down even if they ain't religious.

In case you haven't guessed, I'm a constant source of frustration to my in-laws. Bribes of a sort have been attempted, but I don't need the money.

Posted by , Nov 13, 2007 9:37AM

I hope you are not having children then

Posted by Drano, Nov 13, 2007 10:00AM

Sure I did. They are being rasied as Seventh Day Adventists as a compromise.

Posted by pierre, Nov 13, 2007 10:14AM

stay strong Drano

Posted by Fred Miller, Nov 13, 2007 10:17AM

I fell in love with a Jewish girl. We wanted to get married, my family wanted her to convert to Christianity. Her family objected. I married her anyway, under the strict condition that we only do it in the butt.

Posted by muslimguy, Nov 13, 2007 10:31AM

they seem a decent couple although things would be easier if girl converted to judiaism.

Posted by , Nov 13, 2007 10:43AM

Hey muslimguy, what do your models look like? Do you use a 0% cost of capital in all your DCF calculations?

Posted by Benedict, Nov 13, 2007 10:53AM

he should just accept the gift of salvation

Posted by anon, Nov 13, 2007 11:14AM

She is smart; she married for money, obviously anticipating a future layoff from her mortgage backed securities practice.

Posted by chris, Nov 13, 2007 11:17AM

I believe the gift of salvation is taxable to the receiver.

Posted by slimjim, Nov 13, 2007 1:22PM

the Jews killed Jesus, let us never forget this. Since he is jewish he will make he convert, cheat on her, get divorced and then she will spend eternity burning in hell fire. Look at his Jew smile, no wonder the muslims hate us.

Posted by slimjim, Nov 13, 2007 1:32PM

The Jews killed Jesus, don't ever forget that. He probably will offer her a BMW to convert but in the end will jew her down to acura. Looks like the guy i let in traffic today but did not wave, typical heeb.

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