What I’m about to offer you via my roommate is more than just the greatest breakup anecdote ever told, it’s a reflection of the collapse of the commoditized-sex carry trade.
“PS I forgot to tell you. In the process of our over-and-out conversation, Jeff did offer up this:
“I really like you a lot, but I just don’t feel like I have anything to offer you right now, with this credit crunch and all…”
It’s share-time. How is the credit crunch/market collapse affecting your sex life/ability to find meaningless intercourse for relatively little (in terms of time, fancy dinners, expensive-looking gifts)? The best story will win five uncorrected proofs of Mergers and Acquisitions or a date with John Carney (on you). Your call.
bess’s roommate– a slut?
i’m waiting until marriage to have sex.
I’m waiting until sex to have marriage.
that was like a Magic Eye
I’m waiting until sex for marriage…take that 12:07!
please, you don’t have to wine and dine carney to get him to put out.
Does the “sex” issue have to involve a partner?
no, 12:22, now get talking. i’m not doing anything today.
chicks who have lost their jobs, or are about to, are prowling bars, clubs etc looking for guys who have secure jobs or trust funds. I dont blame them – what chick wants to go back to iowa to marry a corn farmer when she could stay in ny by just sleeping around?
Just me,
I think these girls should just go back to iowa now, lock down a good farmer at the least. They end up whoring around until they’re 30 then realizing no decent guy in ny wants to marry them anyway
The corn farmers are making more money than the NYC finance types this year.
Bear Stearns men’s room. 14th Floor. 1:15PM. I’m the one with the brown shoes.
Come ‘n get some
Our town is made up of 50% meditating brokers from New york and 50% farmers.
Bess – have you thought that maybe your “roommate” is charging too much (at least given market conditions)?
It’s not so much the credit crunch, as the capital allocation away from my group to other areas of the firm (yes I know, b/c of the credit crunch). This puts a damper on my ability to carry inventory for any amount of time. Oh sure I can still cross bonds, but to really be able to screw someone you might have to sit on the position for a couple of days. Point being is, I just don’t like my girlfriend anymore.
L. Craig, I’ll send a Goldman trader right over so you can blow him.
I’d rather be in Iowa than New York right now. Do you think this chart is a result of lawnmower sales?
http://finance.yahoo.com/charts#chart1:symbol=de;range=2y
Credit crunch? Keep lowering those rates bitches! The cheaper the money, the more I can borrow to fund my mini-baller lifestyle. The hoes love them some leased 911′s.
Sincerely,
The entire city of Dallas
I love the comments on this post. I thought I was the only person from Iowa who read DB.
I know law firm partners and PMs who own farms as a side-source of income. Most of them haven’t even seen the land they own, they just hire out help. Plus, with government bail outs when times are tough, it seems the Iowa farmers have the last laugh after all.
As a result of this credit crunch my relationship with my wife has actually gotten better! I could no longer afford to keep my “chinese-slut” girl friend (her words not mine) so now my wife and I have sex all the time!
I just wish I was sober enuff to remeber it…
Land with a “corn rating of 80″ is going for about $4,000.00 an acre if you can find any. God Bless them ethanol people!!!!
IOWA stands for “Idiots Out Walking Around” according to those shitheads over in Nebraska, but we say “It’s Our Way, America!”
who cares. C is almost at $30 . ze world az we know eet iz ovaaa
The results of my less-than-perfect implementation of the Treynor ratio are inconclusive:(
If the quality of posts on this site is any gauge for the caliber of people employed on wall street, then it’s no wonder things are getting bad.
you are all idiots. please never procreate.
Also, the State of Iowa would like to thank all the New Yorkers for our lovely farm subsidies. Good luck getting rid of them as long as we’re the first primary!
Bess,
do you consider auto fellatio
a. homosexuality.
b. a turn-on.
http://www.2girls1cup.com
banks = 2 girls
liquidity = contents of one cup
Hey Wow 1:42,
Nice critique but please don’t tell us how to do our job, after all we don’t go to where you work and slap the cock out of your mouth now do we?
Wow 1:42 – I may have an opening on my staff.
Please plan to meet me in the men’s room at Bear Stearns, 14th floor. 2:45PM.
ok, so Bess’ roommate’s now ex-boyfriend came up with a pretty creative excuse for dumping the shit out of her. Is that a great story? Who is the idiot here? My sense tells me it’s Bess’ roommate!
And I want to know whether Bess’ roommate has a job (given the credit crunch et al), and whether SHE has anything (and I mean anything, at least the looks) to contribute to the relationship.
I bet not. She really has to go back to Iowa and marry a farmer. If she can’t even understand a polite “I don’t want to date you anymore’ and chooses to smear her ex via Bess and Dealbreaker instead, Bess’ roommate really has nothing to do in this town.
bess’s roommate is from new york
Midwest girls have always put out on the first date – thats why they’re in demand. I’m gonna put up a post on CL looking for girls from Iowa and see what shows up.
So what?
She just got politely dumped.
End of story.
bess’s roommate is probably just ugly, plain and simple. if she were hot he’d try to keep her around as long as possible.
i’ve seen bl’s roommate..tall/thin/v. large breasts but i got the feeling she was a loose woman.
Oh!! You mean that if you say, “Put out or get out!”, it’s THE GIRL who’s supposed to “get out”???
Damn, those were some long walks I made back to Fairfield, too!
So now I can have a menage a tois with bess & roomate without the guilt of knowing @ least one of them were cheating?
Not that I ever felt guity before, butt its good to know just in case.
Iowa Banker:
You mean you are A BOY and didn’t put out?
So now I can have a menage a tois with bess & roomate without the guilt of knowing @ least one of them were cheating?
Not that I ever felt guity before, butt its good to know just in case.
KLW:
Whether or not you post on Craigslist, it’s just not funny to “offer up” someone’s name and other details identifiable to those close to him.
Jeff, you should have dumped this bitch much much sooner (I know, I know: breasts et al were in the way).
I am praying that KLW is a chick and not some guy from C or JPM
@ KLW: do you do anal?
klw is bess’s roommate, dumb asses
@ anon 3:55:
Noooooooo!!!
effing genius.
Dude, are you retarded? Do you actually think his name is Jeff? And his only identifiable detail is that he does something in the financial sector, which would make him one of hundreds of thousands of people. But it’s exciting to meet one of those people who always believes what they read on the Internet! I didn’t think any of you existed anymore.
@ KLW:
do you do anal?
PS: Are you not Bess’ roommate? Or do you have thousands unidentifiable men passing through your room every month? I am really sorry for Bess!
@ Bess: Come out of this whorehouse and come live with me. Do you do anal?
isn’t the whole point of dating a banker is to enjoy your life when they’re MIA? so when they’re around, you fuck but when they’re at work for 17 hours straight, that leaves you (and him) free to fuck other people?
i dont understand why jeff ended it- seemed like a pretty standard new york relationship!
Wow, Bess, we really are assholes.
Will all the men on this site please meet me in the Bear Stearns men’s room on the 14th floor at 5:30PM?
Thanks.
AJ– have you seen Bess’s a-hole? It’s very, very nice.
14th floor men’s room larry? Just to warn you i might be in the stall at the end with some chicks gettin blazed… feel free to stop by
I do anal. Have the decency to bring your own lube.
i have astroglide. if it’s ok with you i won’t use a condom
Asshole. Stop it.
AJ- sorry if that was TMI…i just thought you’d appreciate the intel.
http://www.cheatneutral.com
so all you db’s dont feel bad when cheeting on said wives
so…bess’s roommate is a sloot and bess is a good girl educated in the ways of a sloot…skills she could call upon if asked to by the right guy…meaning me.
This thread reminds me of my former boss, whose love life was driven by the price of gasoline. When below its 100d MA, he’d happly date people on the fringes of the tri-state area; but whenever it broke to the upside, he’d dump them pronto and find someone close to home.
Between the reachaound I’ve promised BL’s shemale roommate and the trifecta Anal_yst and I are pulling on the STD that is Kim Kardashian, I think I had better book my ticket to NYC.
This trip is gonna be tight!
in light of what klw just shared, i’ll take bess.
Someone needs to take a bow here, I am cracking up. Way better product than anything else anyone on this site spent the day making. As if there’s work to be done nowadays…
Life is just great when all my models start putting on wider spread positions! I love this credit crunch!
I eat credit crunch for breakfast and poop liquidity in the afternoon.
@ nominate me, KLW, etc:
Ok, KLW, how about Nominate Me, myself, Kardashian all just go at it this weekend. I’ll supply about a gallon of KY (which everyone knows is far superior to that astroglide crap), I assume Kim will be supplying the VD, so KLW/Nominate Me, you two decide who’s bringing the drugs and alcohol.
Unfortunately for L. Craig, we will not be meating up anywhere near 383 madison.
Although I do have a friend who banged out a slut up in one of the higher-floor conference rooms…
inappropriate
Surfin the crimson wave or am I completely missing the meaning of blood wings?
Either way I’m down for whatever, bring it
i would like to give Anal_yst a gorilla mask. 2 guys 1 rag.
Blood Wings.. I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that..