Merrill Lynch Can't Stop, Won't Stop Dissing Stan O'Neal

Posted by Bess Levin, Nov 16, 2007, 3:29pm

stanoneal.jpgDow Jones’s Evelyn Juan reports that Winthrop Smith Jr., son of the Merrill Lynch founding partner of the same name, is planning a little party next month for firm alums in New York. Mostly because he’s spent the last couple of years holed up in Vermont (running Sugarbush) and “really, really needs to get out” but also because it’s time to start reminiscing about the days when Merrill still gave out bonuses and wasn’t a stupendous failure. John Thain’s been invited, as has most of Citi (in order to make the MER guests look good), but guess who’s name is decidedly not on the list? Starts with an ‘S’, ends with a ‘tanley O’neal’ (also: starts with a ‘t,’ ends with an ‘ech sector,’ and a ‘J,’ ‘ohn Carney,’ though he plans on crashing and I may even come with, because I love the Time Square Doubletree). The burn isn’t really that surprising, considering that Stan got the job Smith wanted, but it nonetheless chafes, according to a receptionist from the office of O’Neal proctologist, who violated a host of ethics rules when she snuck a peak at his chart and called us with the results. Stan is said to be planning his own Merrill reunion for the same night, to be held in the office space the board’s letting him use for the next 3 years. Who will go where? We guess it really comes down to a matter of preference—Smith will have a piñata, Stan will be jumping out of a cake naked and serving Chex MixTM. Which one would you attend?

0Recommend this! 18Comments
Posted in: Merrill Lynch, Parties

Comments

Posted by diddy, Nov 16, 2007 3:41PM

takethattakethattakethat(badboy)

Posted by Larry Craig, Nov 16, 2007 3:48PM

Stan's party sounds like fun...

Posted by , Nov 16, 2007 3:56PM

Times Square Doubletree!!!!!!

awesome

Posted by , Nov 16, 2007 4:06PM

The burn isn’t really that surprising, considering that Stan got the job Smith wanted, but it nonetheless chafes, according to a receptionist from the office of O’Neal proctologist, who violated a host of ethics rules when she snuck a peak at his chart and called us with the results.

Posted by The Artist Formally Known As Puff Daddy, Nov 16, 2007 4:07PM

...As we proceed, to give you what you need....

Posted by , Nov 16, 2007 4:23PM

Talk about sperm lucky

Posted by make a new plan stan, Nov 16, 2007 4:43PM

No Coloreds are invited

Posted by , Nov 16, 2007 5:46PM

Yessss! Now there is good news. Carry on, db, carry on.

Posted by Comment Poster, Nov 16, 2007 6:25PM

Did you notice that the cover of Fortune this week has numbers regarding losses at various investment banks, listing Chuck ($9.8B), Jimmy ($450mm), John ($3.7B) and Stan ($7.9B)? Which one of these is not like the other? Poor Cayne, seems like they included him so they could headline the cover, "What were they smoking?"

Posted by , Nov 16, 2007 6:49PM

I'd rather be in Stan's party by myself than spend time with those WASPs for an evening.

Posted by bullTHIS, Nov 16, 2007 8:23PM

6:49 - i second that. Would the hell wants to hang out with a bunch of bitter "alums".

Posted by Affroooossss, Nov 17, 2007 6:33PM

Dope videos....
Righteous
as the Fabulous Thunderbirds said,
Black it up, I'll take it...
Black it up

Posted by black banker, Nov 18, 2007 9:47AM

glad to see that an article cannot be written about Stan without silly references to his race.
Clearly, Our anonymity keeps us honest. I like it, really. Its good to know how you really feel as I continue my IB career.

Posted by strong black man, Nov 18, 2007 10:32PM

the nigga still has a huge dick, so all yall need to stop hatin and get to procreatin

Posted by Don Imus, Nov 19, 2007 7:16AM

When the board of directors realized that O'Neal was actually a black negro, it was time to make a change.

Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 8:41AM

I saw O'Neal last night; he looks as dignified and powerful as ever.
I respect the guy.

Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 10:41AM

anon @8:41 You know nothing about his abilities but are impressed instead with how he carries himself. Funny reason to respect the guy. Hope yr not in charge of anything important. That kind of thinking get firms in big trouble.

Posted by WallStYouth, Nov 19, 2007 6:50PM

Stan is about to launch is PE firm, Stan will be aight!! next year this time Wall st. will be eating out of Stan's hand as he boasts his B.S.D.

Post Your Comment