• 30 Nov 2007 at 12:23 PM
  • CNBC

On Whores

dina.jpgFor a while there, it looked like CNBC was going to keep doing its thing as the “serious” business network, and not lower itself to Fox’s, shall we say, looser format. “Skanks don’t move markets,” everyone* at Englewood Cliffs said during the first week of FB’s debut. “Those hos won’t last a month.” How wrong was CNBC? Dead wrong. An informal poll of five traders shows that Fox Business is still in fact on the air, almost two months later. This unforeseen turn of events has everyone in NJ wetting themselves in fear (why do you think they’re always behind a desk?) and scrabbling to tart it up in order to compete, with a more “ouch, what are you doing?” than pleasurable outcome. Take this morning, for example. A piece on Victoria’s Secret, a Limited Brands company carried the headline “Vicky’s Panty Raid,” Erin Burnett half-heartedly making a joke about “Becky Quick’s interesting Victoria’s Secret story,” and then a shot of Mark Haines eating a sandwich. It’s just sad because they don’t even know how to properly whore themselves out, and they’re fumbling around and fucking it up and just looking awkward. It’s like watching Dina Lohan trying to compete with Lindsay. Horribly depressing and giving me the worst case of secondhand embarrassment.
*Everyone, that is, but Kudlow, who insisted we give him credit for knowing that “Skanks *do* indeed move markets” from the beginning.

Comments (17)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2007 at 12:41 PM

    you’re right.

  2. Posted by The Man of Quotes | November 30, 2007 at 12:45 PM

    Victoria Secret panties….not the best thing in the world but real close to it!

  3. Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2007 at 12:54 PM

    oh Bess – you’re so good.

  4. Posted by not being sarcastic | November 30, 2007 at 1:22 PM

    so much wisdom and wit from this girl.

  5. Posted by Loho fan | November 30, 2007 at 1:27 PM

    Damn! …Sluts!

  6. Posted by Becky Boot Fan | November 30, 2007 at 1:29 PM

    Wo ist Fraulein Bartiromo?

  7. Posted by inIT4the$ | November 30, 2007 at 1:43 PM

    funny stuff…

  8. Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2007 at 1:48 PM

    Sluts up!!

  9. Posted by John Maynard Keynes | November 30, 2007 at 2:07 PM

    Skanks are the ONLY thing which moves markets (and Traders)
    Most, probably, of our decisions to do something positive, the full consequences of which will be drawn out over many days to come, can only be taken as the result of animal spirits—a spontaneous urge to action rather than inaction, and not as the outcome of a weighted average of quantitative benefits multiplied by quantitative probabilities.
    I like them animal spirits. It’s what moves my market.

  10. Posted by John Maynard Keynes | November 30, 2007 at 2:10 PM

    Skanks are the ONLY thing which moves markets (and Traders)
    Most, probably, of our decisions to do something positive, the full consequences of which will be drawn out over many days to come, can only be taken as the result of animal spirits—a spontaneous urge to action rather than inaction, and not as the outcome of a weighted average of quantitative benefits multiplied by quantitative probabilities.
    I like them animal spirits. It’s what moves my market.

  11. Posted by Nominate me | November 30, 2007 at 2:11 PM

    Re: the picture
    Yes and yes

  12. Posted by NSD | November 30, 2007 at 2:14 PM

    I was expecting something a little more creative for the name of the pic file.
    Was that one of Keith’s responsibilities?

  13. Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2007 at 2:31 PM

    NSD is a tool

  14. Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2007 at 3:05 PM

    @2:31 – In no way was my comment an attack on your internet crush Bess. I quite enjoy her work.

  15. Posted by John Maynard Keynes | November 30, 2007 at 3:11 PM

    Skanks are the ONLY thing which moves markets (and Traders)
    Most, probably, of our decisions to do something positive, the full consequences of which will be drawn out over many days to come, can only be taken as the result of animal spirits—a spontaneous urge to action rather than inaction, and not as the outcome of a weighted average of quantitative benefits multiplied by quantitative probabilities.
    I like them animal spirits. It’s what moves my market.

  16. Posted by vespa | November 30, 2007 at 3:25 PM

    am i the only one who caught pais hilton say “squawk box, that’s hot” the other morning, obviously they are trying to dumb it down if they’re using her to send them off to break…

  17. Posted by Anonymous | November 30, 2007 at 3:29 PM

    True story: I went AtoM on Dina, while Lindsay watched.
    Probably in the top 25 Sexual Experiences of my life.
    Photos Available.

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