Archive for November 2007

A commenter on the Opening Bell this morning linked to an FT article suggesting that private equity actually (surprise suprise) underperforms major public equity benchmarks, like the S&P 500. We’re a bit skeptical of most data that tries to aggregate results for this kind of stuff, cause it’s got to be riddled with bad data and other biases borne out of the data collection methods.
This part however was interesting and believable:

Mr Gottschlag admitted that some private equity firms were consistently outperforming the stock market. But he was sceptical about the number of buy-out funds that say they are “top-quartile” in performance rankings. “I have never met a general partner who was not top-quartile. So I wonder where three-quarters of the industry is hiding,” he said.

This same observation has been made many times, not just with PE, but with hedge and VC funds as well. Still, have to wonder whether the mistake is in thinking of private equity as an asset class that’s comparable with the public markets. Reading this brought to mind an old post from Eric Falkenstein arguing against the old saw that risk and return are positively correlated:

Thus, I posit the theory that risk is compensated by return, but only in areas that are non-zero sum. When investors merely buy existing claims from each other, they are engaged in overconfidence (see Milgrom-Stokey’s No Trade Theorem ). People self-select into non-zero sum situations based on their informational advantages and above-average ability, and on average prosper accordingly. Thus you need not only a high tolerance for risk, but moxie, because it takes energy and negotiating prowess to create and capture these non-standard options from one’s investments. They are active investments even if the activity is merely in the negotiation of rights.

So maybe on the whole, there’s nothing special about private equity (nor is it obvious why there should be). But certain operators — the ones who consistently do better/the ones who have the necessary moxie — can outperform.
Private equity underperforms market [FT]
Are Almost All Investors Biased? [Overcoming Bias]

Opening Bell: 11.23.07


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wishbone.jpgEd note: Unfortunately, although we use the plural first person all the time, there’s technically just one of us writing the Opening Bell… which means no coinflip about who had to write it today. That being said, we still like a good wager, so yesterday at Thanksgiving we amused ourselves by doing prop bets with our family members: $50 bet to whomever got the better end of the wishbone. After that, we just started snapping random bones we could find to see whose side ended up longer. We ended up +$250, though our high was +$900. Also, seeing as there may not be any news of substance today and there probably won’t be too many of you reading, we make no guarantees as to the accuracy, validity, newsworthiness, or actionability of any of these items. It might just be links to stories about shopping — we’re not sure.
Stores Usher in Holiday Shopping Season (AP)
Blah blah blah, economy, blah blah blah, iPod, blah blah blah, subprime, blah blah blah, retail, blah blah blah, discount, blah blah blah, tainted Chines toys, blah blah blah, recession, blah blah blah, upbeat. Blah blah blah, l-tryptophaned.
The 2007 UT-A&M Game (Houston’s Clear Thinkers)
We’ve been pretty down on our alma mater this year (well at least their football team), but the Longhorns have won a number of impressive come-from-behind wins against teams they never should have been behind against in the first place. Last year the ‘Horns got spanked by the Aggies, which was humiliating, but this year it’ll be different. We can feel it. Just curious: what bar do the UT alums among our readership watch the game at? Let us know in the comments.
Despite filters, tidal wave of spam bears down on e-mailers (USA Today)
Even on a slow news day, this is pretty low. Yes, there’s still spam. And what’s great is that the piece starts off with that old Bill Gates quote about the eradication of spam, which has probably been used in every other spam article for the past 3 years.
Yikes! (Information Processing)
More depressing stuff about subprime, CDOs, sivs, etc.
American Eagle flight gets stuck in Arkansas mud (Today in the Sky)
From what we can tell, the Thanksgiving travel nightmares never materialized this year… or not really so bad. An averted storm in Chicago helped matters. Anyway, at least one plane got stuck in the mud and was delayed.

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Write-Offs:11.21.07

$$$ The Thoroughbred of Investing [The Stalwart]
$$$ Office Decorations [Banker's Ball]
$$$ Stuck up? Snobby? If so, we should definitely chat. [craigslist]
Well, my bitches, it’s about that time. I suggest you have yourselves a leisurely snack and just mosey on out whenever you want. Don’t tell anyone, because it’s Thanksgiving and you shouldn’t have to. On Friday, posting will be super light. There’ll be a couple of brief rounds-up of all the super important stuff that’s sure to happen between now and then. Not sure if it’ll be me or Carney doing it [JC Note: It'll be you, Bess. Get over it.] , that’ll depend on the outcome of a coin-toss (of death), so stay tuned. We’ll be back on Monday, unless of course one of my parents’ friends offers me a job over the weekend (or someone on the subway does this afternoon, as I make my way to Penn Station) in which case, this is good-bye. Happy Thanksgiving!

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BestThanksgivingever.jpg
“What are your plans for Thanksgiving?”
“Don’t your folks live in the city?”
Those are some of the worst questions a junior staffer at an investment bank can hear from his managing director. It means that there’s work to be done and the bank is scrambling to find bodies who can run spreadsheets.
The only wise response is to lie. Never let them know you will be anywhere near the office on a holiday. Tell them your family always celebrates in Aspen or something. Or, better, on an island in Maine with no electricity, cell phone access or internet.
But if you’ve already screwed-up and revealed you will be in town, you may very well be expected to work on Thanksgiving. No one will actually say you can’t attend Thanksgiving dinner. In fact, they’ll assure you that it’s just a couple of hours of work. It isn’t. They are lying. They are just time optimists. If you point this out they will just think you work too slow.
But just because you’ll be without friends, family or food on Thanksgiving doesn’t mean we don’t care about you. We’ve been there. We know what working tomorrow means. And after the jump we provide a schedule for those stuck churning Excel.
[More, a lot more, after the jump.]

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We totally came up with a great turkey terminating holiday oriented piece to run today. The idea was that we would call all the big shots on Wall Street—or at least their flacks—and ask what they were grateful for this year. It could be funny. It could be touching. It could totally fill up space on a day where our thoughts are really about getting out of the office early.
And then the idea got even better. We’d also do some man on the street interviews to ask the common man—or at least the common investment banker—what he’s grateful for this year. Maybe Bess could snap some pictures.
And what about their families? Maybe the wives of private equity honchos are grateful that their husbands are home much more now. Or maybe they worry about being able to buy more stuff at Christmas and what happens to New Year’s in the Alps?
And you know what happened next? That’s right. The whole project just seemed overwhelming. Wasn’t the point of this thing to create some entertaining filler on the day before Thanksgiving? How did it go so wrong? Why did it suddenly seem to require so much work?
So we totally came up with a better idea. We want your answers. You people are funnier than at least half the team at DealBreaker anyway. So what are the inhabitants of the world of Wall Street grateful for this year? Leave you answer in the comments section.

BenBernakeDefendsThanksgiving.jpgBen Bernanke has a special Thanksgiving message for DealBreaker and Ron Paul. It sounds like he’s not happy about that video we posted yesterday.
“It’s clear from this video that Ron Paul does not understand all the advancements of economic science over the past few decades. If one of Dr. Paul’s patients was sick, would he ignore modern medicine and prescribe leeches? So why does he doubt my ability to prescribe the right interest rate medicine for the economy and favor returning to the gold standard?” Bernanke writes on Ben Bernanke’s Blog.
But it’s not all about leeches. There’s also a suspicious Frenchness about Ron Paul’s enthusiasm for laissez faire economics.
“Watch the video closely. I tell him that lowering interest rates (which has nothing to do with inflation, necessarily) won’t effect Americans’ ability to buy turkey or any other domestic products this Thanksgiving. In fact, it reinforces our culture. Ron Paul would have Americans running around with strong dollars (or worse, gold), buying up French fries, spaghetti and other fancy imports,” Bernanke argues.
Ron Paul, the grinch who stole Thanksgiving [Newsgroper]


Only, spoiler alert, it’s totally boring. Nothing like the Jermaine Dupri interview and not even in the same league as the 50 Cent spot. As someone who attended a Boyz II Men concert as recently as a few weeks ago, and until then, had a Post-It on my computer reading “Remember to buy Boyz II Men tickets,” this was disappointing. And after all the points FB won with the Arabs! We’re not going to write them off just yet, but Neil Cavuto needs to think about what he’s done. (Dude didn’t even act smug or self-satisfied, though we did appreciate it when he said, “You guys look like bankers!” and “I thought the line of fans outside was for me” before LOLing his own joke and ruining it. ) Thanksgiving starts tomorrow, not today, bub. Shape up.