So Uncool

Posted by Bess Levin, Nov 28, 2007, 1:52pm

We at my apartment (so me and Marissa) have heard that the invasion of employee privacy by Wall Street firms has taken a bold step forward: hacking into employee Facebook accounts. According to a sometimes reliable, sometimes not source, the human relations department at a certain investment bank has been using creative technology to get into the profiles of current (and prospective) minions, to monitor their off (and on) the clock activities. This is bull shit and I'll tell you why: it would be one thing, if you and those with the power to get you fired willingly entered into a Facebook friendship, thereby granting them full-access to see what's a-poppin' in your personal life whenever they pleased. But this means that someone who doesn't even have the bedside manner to ask "You wanna do this" first, or worse, someone whose online friendship you've formally said no thanks to, can see that you've added "Boiler Room" to your favorite movies (sheep) and changed your status from "Billy is working at Bear Stearns" to "Billy is getting a public citation for having relieved himself on the sidewalk in front of Bear Stearns which he wouldn't have had to do in the first place if those FUCKS hadn't fired him." Anyway, try and guess which firm we're talking about via Facebook message (thereby granting me access to see your profile for one week even if we're not friends) and I will respond shortly.

0Recommend this! 48Comments
Posted in: Banks, FaceBook, Great Ideas, Lehman

Comments

1

Posted by Matt , Nov 28, 2007 2:05PM

err.. Lehman?

2

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 2:06PM

definitely suntrust

3

Posted by goldilocks , Nov 28, 2007 2:06PM

I have zero problems with banks checking Facebook...if you're dumb enough to put that stuff on the web, you might be dumb enough to misappropriate information that really matters.

4

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 2:22PM

no pictures or wall on your limited profile, kiddos. keep to the stuff you actually post yourself. or can they see the full profile?

5

Posted by publius , Nov 28, 2007 2:23PM

I would fire an employee if he/she were on facebook.

6

Posted by just asking , Nov 28, 2007 2:25PM

is bess's roommate wall street's lincoln tunnel?

7

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 2:33PM

Just set up my page.

Where do I find the dirty pictures?

8

Posted by MS , Nov 28, 2007 2:37PM

Bess word on the street...no pun intended...is that you are extremely hot, when do we get to see a picture?

9

Posted by HAM'05 , Nov 28, 2007 2:39PM

what about those of us that can't access fbook inboxes from work bc our firms are demi-fascists??

also i bet its goldman, their nerdy IT heebs will do anything for a chance to to dock* with unsnipped perspective hires

*http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=docking+urbandictionary

10

Posted by anon anon anon , Nov 28, 2007 2:42PM

Any firm who engages in this type of activity is begging to be sued BIG TIME and they are pissing away the owners money. This would be worse than insider trading from a pr point of view.

11

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 2:43PM

HAM resurfaces. Check out the athletics pages on hamilton.edu. That place is churnin out some nice boy ass.

12

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 2:45PM

Speakin of heebs...

Bess can I be your first facebook friend who's not a member of the 12 Tribes....

13

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 2:46PM

Speakin of heebs...

Bess can I be your first facebook friend who's not a member of the 12 Tribes....

14

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 2:53PM

bess went to amherst, so it's pretty likely she has facebook friends who aren't jews.

15

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 2:58PM

4 out of 386. Not that I counted....

16

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:01PM

I thought she went to Brown?

17

Posted by skeptical , Nov 28, 2007 3:03PM

It's as bess as the nose on plain's face...

18

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:09PM

Do you have to be someone's friend to see their profile?

19

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:17PM

is your roommate katie or marissa?

20

Posted by Moho , Nov 28, 2007 3:18PM

Bess is friends with Pete Murphy, the whitest boy who ever lived. So I'm pretty sure the ban on gentiles has been lifted :)

21

Posted by call me crazy , Nov 28, 2007 3:28PM

aren't jews white boys too?

22

Posted by anonymous , Nov 28, 2007 3:32PM

At this point, we all know Bear Stearns sucks. But really, I'm a little disappointed in Facebook. This sounds like a Facebook security issue.

23

Posted by you are crazy , Nov 28, 2007 3:33PM

no

24

Posted by tags , Nov 28, 2007 3:34PM

how dumb are you guys who are naming bear, suntrust, goldman, etc.? average dumb or actually retarded?

25

Posted by Also Crazy , Nov 28, 2007 3:41PM

If Adam Sandler isn't white I don't know who is.

26

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:42PM

Italians arent either. Irish, maybe

27

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:45PM

Dont you be callin HAM '05 dumb

28

Posted by BrianVan , Nov 28, 2007 3:48PM

It can't be Lehman. Their firewall blocks Facebook and their IT department is staffed with at least a few mildly retarded people who routinely refuse any requests more complicated than a keyboard installation.

What's funny is that all of the above is true and not at all sarcastic. It would be nice if our network could handle espionage! I guess we just have to settle for having the smartest MBS traders out there who aren't cooking the books.

29

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:49PM

Adam Sandler is not white. There are some jews however that are, who are known as white anglo saxon hebrews. They grew up on Park Ave, went to Temple Emmanuel, etc. They were not raised in Livingstein.

30

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:53PM

isn't "white anglo saxon" an oxymoron?

31

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:55PM

No it's redundant and superfluous.

32

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:55PM

sure is, but I suspect the purpose is to make the abbreviation the more pleasant WASP, rather than the harsh ASP. Or in the context here, WASH vs. ASH

33

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:56PM

touche...my bad

34

Posted by i wish i were HAM'05 , Nov 28, 2007 3:57PM

everyone loves HAM'05

35

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 3:59PM

i dunno ... ash is pretty white. that would have worked well.

it is impossible that LEH hr got a special dispensation from the facebook police for recruiting purposes then?

36

Posted by sound fucking familiar? , Nov 28, 2007 4:06PM

I think they missed one with Jute* Jews or JuJus.

* the Jutes came over with the Angles/Saxon. They had a vastly superior culture but were ethnically cleansed out of existence.

37

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 4:09PM

survival of the fittest i guess

38

Posted by Lumbergh , Nov 28, 2007 4:17PM

Goldilocks and publius, you're both pathetic corp. drones. No organization has a right to pry into your personal life - online or otherwise - just because they sign your paycheck. It never ceases to amaze me what these firms will do to put themselves in the same school as fascist governments around the world. I expect this from Prince al Waleed's Citigroup, not from anyone else.

39

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 4:18PM

4:09 your boss probably reports to a heeb.

If you work for a decent firm.

40

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 4:19PM

@ 4:18 he doesn't report to any Jutes

41

Posted by EB in Leather , Nov 28, 2007 4:25PM

Due to Bess's less than spectacular posts and a Bill Simmons marathon chat, I have only clicked on dealbreaker 4 times today. Bess, today wasn't your best hump day.

42

Posted by 4:25 is an idiot , Nov 28, 2007 4:35PM

"Due to Bess's less than spectacular posts and a Bill Simmons marathon chat, I have only clicked on dealbreaker 4 times today. Bess, today wasn't your best hump day."

time that couldn't been better spent killing yourself. maybe tomorrow?

43

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 5:31PM

bess denied my friend request.... fail.

44

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 5:57PM

You were bold to try.

We're still waiting for Galahad.

45

Posted by , Nov 28, 2007 5:59PM

HAM '05 @2:39 is clearly an imposter. The real HAM would 1) never confuse prospective with perspective and 2) even though I wish it were not so, have no idea what docking is

46

Posted by BSD is a dick , Nov 28, 2007 11:14PM

"time that couldn't been better spent killing yourself. maybe tomorrow?" was a classic. It nails my sentiment about hatchet wounds like 4:25pm to a T.

47

Posted by Smoke and Mirrors , Nov 28, 2007 11:35PM

"Bess, today wasn't your best hump day."

Well, that depends on what you mean by hump day.

48

Posted by ex-gs , Nov 29, 2007 9:38AM

It's not goldman, we make people sign waivers before HCM can look at their stuff. One of our interns brought one as part of the screening.

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