Stephen Schwarzman threw his son Teddy and new daughter Ellen a lavish Jamaican wedding last weekend blah blah blah $20,000 barbecue blah blah blah$8,500 4-hour fireworks display blah blah blah bought up the entire hotel for a $50,000 flat fee blah blah blah $150,000 open bar blah blah blah $1,000 wedding cake blah blah blah that’s a lot of money for flour, eggs and milk blah blah blah. No. This little gathering was a drop in the bucket compared to the $3 million birthday party Stephen threw himself last year. The subtext here is that Schwarzman is a bad father. The excuse that Blackstone just lost $113.2 million holds no water because we hear Schwarzman has plans to put stone crabs on the endangered species list by the end of the year. (Last complaint, because we’re really not trying to be negative about the whole thing, it’s just happening organically but 4 hours of fireworks? Seriously? That’s like half the workday. Wouldn’t your neck start to hurt? Wouldn’t your ears start to ring? What am I missing here? I’m really asking. Educate me.)
Earlier: Crab Hands Jr. Is Off The Market
Like Pa, Like Son [NYP]
Posted by Jamaica , Nov 19, 2007 3:25PM
firework display was 4 minutes, not 4 hours. nypost got it wrong...
Posted by anon , Nov 19, 2007 3:27PM
why crab hands? and yes, 4 hours is obscenely long for fireworks, but if it really was 4 hours long, then 8,500 doesn't really buy you much. normal shows go for like 10k for an hour.
Posted by anon , Nov 19, 2007 3:30PM
8,500 for 4 minutes sounds much more in tune with everything else that's been reported. glad to see that that db has jamaican bus boy readers.
Posted by Lumbergh , Nov 19, 2007 3:32PM
Schwartzman is such a loser. What kind of idiot spends that much on a cake? That's poor judgement no matter how wealthy you are. Some people just don't deserve the money they have.
Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 3:34PM
the post says $8,500 for four hours.
"Young Teddy Schwarzman likes a fireworks display, so his pa splashed out $8,500 for four hours worth on the grounds of the posh Round Hill Resort in Montego Bay."
Posted by HAM'05 , Nov 19, 2007 3:34PM
not to fill with gratuitous hahaha's but bess, crab hands picture never gets old.
Posted by Nominate me , Nov 19, 2007 3:38PM
$1,000 for a cake for idiots? I live in flyover country and that is definitely not out of line. Now, $150k for an open bar, that's an f-ing party!
Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 3:39PM
Why has db started clipping off the top of the crab hands portrait?
Posted by Jamaica , Nov 19, 2007 3:42PM
3:34
right, but the Post got it wrong. surprise.
Posted by anon , Nov 19, 2007 3:45PM
3:39, the head's been cut off for a couple of months now. still, could someone explain the crab reference? why not squeaky shoes?
Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 3:46PM
$20,000 bbq? THat's it?
Posted by - , Nov 19, 2007 3:50PM
how much do you want for an obscene bbq? 50? 100? we're talking about chicken & lobster. you can't do too much damage with 130 people. that's 150 a head for bbq. not a buffet, but BBQ.
Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 3:57PM
3:50, I figured there would be like 500 ppl...
Posted by - , Nov 19, 2007 4:09PM
3:53, nypost had the headcount at 130. if i'm not mistaken, that's the same amount of "wait" for stevey's own party.
Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 4:21PM
Overcompensation for the tiniest little-man tools in the history of the human race.
Posted by The Old Pooperoo , Nov 19, 2007 4:21PM
I had a Big Mac combo for lunch - $6.45, and a buttered roll and coffee for breakfast - $1.85. Tonight I'll pick up a 6 pack of Coors at the bodega -- $9.00 for tall boys, cause that's how I roll. And maybe two slices of pizza -- $4.00. What do you mean, nobody gives a flying fuck? OK, I'll get a whole pizza, and it'll cost me 70 grand! There. Happy?
Seriously, who cares about this rich POS and his spending habits?
Posted by Yo! MG , Nov 19, 2007 4:25PM
haven't added up the totals, but those are practically mini-baller amounts for a wedding these days. Maybe Daddy S' frugality is a leading indicator of tough times ahead for Blackstone.
Best thing is that I have an ad next to this post from "Cheapcaribbean.com!"
Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 4:31PM
To those that are asking about the crab hands, never come asking me for a job. I will screen all of you out by asking such questions. I can't believe you can't figure that out on your own or haven't picked up a paper.
Posted by stone crab , Nov 19, 2007 4:55PM
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118169817142333414.html?mod=hpp_us_pageone
a little back story on crab hands
Posted by mot , Nov 19, 2007 4:56PM
this is the wedding of a son who married a shiksa (a hot shiksa, with some height to her, which the family needs)- why do you think they went to Jamica with only 130 people?
In new york $1000 gets you a wedding cake for 8 people.
Posted by AJ , Nov 19, 2007 4:59PM
Crab-hands is still the best image to ever come out of the infamous Dealbreaker graphics department
Posted by girl , Nov 19, 2007 5:19PM
im fairly certain thats the only image ever coming out of the DB graphics department
Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 5:22PM
has anyone noticed that girl's a perma-bitch?
Posted by AJ , Nov 19, 2007 6:39PM
Girl, you forget the amazing Vonage graphic
Posted by , Nov 19, 2007 6:43PM
AJ, you forget the other schwarzman ones such as:
http://www.dealbreaker.com/2007/04/what_if_rod_stewart_ran_blacks.php#more
and
http://www.dealbreaker.com/2007/03/david_weidner_knows_why_blacks_1.php#more
obviously there are more where that came from.
Posted by Phil Seltzer , Nov 19, 2007 11:00PM
Cake couldn't cost $1k just like fireworks - 4 min or 4 hours - couldn't cost $8.5K. Don't let the "facts" mess with the issue!!!
We don't like Schwartzman!!! Why? Because we're not him.
If we we're him we'd be quite happy, thank you.
Posted by tokyobk , Nov 19, 2007 11:15PM
Yeah, here in Japan they have these hours long fireworks displays. It is re-g-damn-diculous.
I read a survey, however, which says undercover "fireworks" last the shortest in Japan of all developed countries.
I guess here on the other side of the earth its all backwards.
Posted by , Nov 20, 2007 12:57AM
what the fuck is the god damn issue Carney et al with getting "thank you for posting" bullshit when you try to post a comment with a URL in it?
Can't you guys just borrow a tech guy from gawker or jezebel or something?
Posted by , Nov 20, 2007 7:59AM
how fucked up are the japanese
http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/11/19/style/fslim.php
Posted by , Nov 20, 2007 10:20AM
fireworks were four minutes.
Posted by , Nov 20, 2007 10:28AM
Lumbergh, are you kidding me? 1K for a cake is f*ing cheap. I expect more from ol' crab hand!!!
Posted by , Jan 24, 2008 4:16PM
I do believe the bride's family paid for the wdding.