At a conference hosted by the Confederation of British Industry yesterday, a visibly shaking Stephen Schwarzman said that private equity is “a force for good” whose only goal is to help the children. Then he bemoaned the fact that his industry is seen as a “destructive force with a short-term perspective, levering companies and stripping their assets to enrich a few nasty people (like me), who then don’t even pay taxes on all that they get in such an unsavory manner,” just before yelling “good bye, cruel world” and throwing himself off a second-story balcony. (Schwarzman also offered this rave review of himself, courtesy of his own family, on the way down: “My wife and children were not ashamed to have me sit with them at the Thanksgiving table on Thursday.” You know what? Sold. I don’t even know what he’s selling, but sold.)
Stephen Schwarzman Speaks [DealBook]
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Stephen Schwarzman: “Private Equity Is Misunderstood And So Am I” [whispering] “The Only People Who Truly Get Me Are My Crabs”
By Bess LevinComments (9)
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Stephen Schwarzman really needs to learn how to shut the fuck up and stop talking. I’m starting to think he wants to pay higher taxes.
but you still love that pic, don’t you AJ?
Oh yeah, never gets old
Hard to believe that even this greedy parasite was one day an innocent little kid. Schwartzman is as unsavory to me as guys who sell crack to children and teens. Pay your taxes like the rest of us!
Hard to believe that even this greedy parasite was once an innocent little kid. Schwartzman is as unsavory to me as guys who sell crack to children and teens. Pay your taxes like the rest of us!
Bessie,
Why do you keep saying that you don’t understand anything you are writing about all day today?
Are you going blonde?
Also, why on earth do I see ads for Comcast in CHICAGO of all places?
So, at what point do we buy BX?
And if it goes do $0, will the government bail me and and reimburse in the form of stone crabs?
That crab hands pic is fantastic!
i feel like i have to say this every time now just so it doesn’t get replaced, because i know i never shouted out keith enough and suddenly he was gone
[...] from modest Pennsylvania beginnings to develop a nearly insatiable desire for stone crabs.” Dealbreaker, take a bow.Much of the speech focused on an apparent discrepancy: a Jewish keynote speaker at a [...]