Trendspotting: Alarming Number Of C.E.O.'s Not Making Plans For Who Will Get Their Office When They Get Fired

Posted by Bess Levin, Nov 26, 2007, 12:10pm

fyii'llbeusingthispictureallday.jpgThe Wall Street Journal's Carol Hymowitz reports this morning that today's CEOs are devoting far too much time to actually failing at their jobs and not enough to determining who will get to be CEO next when those failures are made public, and they get canned. According to Hymowitz, "Chief execs are too busy focussing on the shit of the present so that when new shit comes to light, their companies are shit out of luck." I think-- I think but I'm not sure-- she might be referring to Chuck Prince/Citigroup and Stan O'Neal/Merrill Lynch. She's obviously not talking about Jimmy Cayne/Bear Stearns, because Big C spent at least an hour last Tuesday afternoon coming up with a few options for what BSC should do in case of an emergency. Unfortunately, Cayne couldn't choose one ("I can't decide, I love them all. It would be like asking me to choose between White Widow and Northern Lights-- impossible.") and in a voicemail he probably regrets leaving, asked us to "put it to the DealBreaker audience." So:

Too Many Companies Lack Succession Plans, Wasting Time, Talent [WSJ]

(NB: Apparently Vizu doesn't let you use "motherfucker" in its polls. You know I'd never choose to use *s out of my own volition. )

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Posted in: CEOs

Comments

Posted by , Nov 26, 2007 12:22PM

digging the alwaleed pics/file name.

Posted by , Nov 26, 2007 12:31PM

who is the creepy guy in the pic?

Posted by , Nov 26, 2007 1:11PM

i wish i could grow a 'stache.

Posted by HAM'01, Nov 26, 2007 1:20PM

you can 1:11, you just gotta want it

thanks for the lighthearted note bess, looks like carney is wearing his compassionate hat today

Posted by keep it coming, Nov 26, 2007 1:22PM

what are you talking about HAM'01? this is the stuff i come to DB for.

Posted by The Inappropriate Joke Teller, Nov 26, 2007 1:29PM

As a fired CEO is leaving office, the new CEO walks in and shuts the door. "Please tell me how you weathered this dangerous market for so long.." pleads the new CEO.

"Well".., begins the fired CEO, "I have put 3 envelopes, numbered 1, 2 and 3, in your new desk. When you have a crisis, open them in sequence and you'll do fine." With that, the fired CEO leaves.

Within a few years, the new CEO finds margins are down and the press clamoring for his head. One night, he pulls envelope #1 out, opens it and reads, "Blame the economy.." The next day he goes public blaming the economy and people seem to be OK with that excuse. He survives.

In a couple more years, there is a tremendous fight with regulators and everyone wants the new CEO's head on a platter. So, late one night, he reaches into his desk and pulls out envelope #2, opens it and reads, "Blame your competitors..". The next day he goes public with his attack on his competitors actions that caused his troubles. He survives yet again.

One year later he is looking at his audit committee who says he must write down $30 billion in subprime debt issues. He resists the urge to vomit and reaches into his desk and pulls out envelope #3. With trembling hands, he opens it and reads,

"Prepare 3 envelopes...."

Posted by The guy who's not gonna make it, Nov 26, 2007 1:34PM

This pic is great...almost like a young, dashing Ron Jeremy

Posted by fistf*cker, Nov 26, 2007 1:36PM

I know someone that made a regular habit of pissing on the revolving door that faces the hotel across the street at Bear Stearns. Every night for months he would trot over at 3am and take a piss on the door. He thought leaving a stool sample would not be in good taste.

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