DB Editor Prefers Scores To MePa Club, Shitty ML Party

Last night after an important meeting, a source made me and Carney go to an ML fixed income holiday situation, which sucked...then he made us go to a no-words-for-it-bad-but-worse-than-the-holocaust-is-a-start club in the meat packing district that I ended up ditching them at (forgetting, rather idiotically, to ask JC for some cash, meaning I got to walk from 29th and 10th to 33rd and Park when it was -10 degrees out, which, if you haven't tried it, is delightful). Prior to that, though, someone gave the driver the wrong address and we ended up outside of Scores...thinking to myself that I'd rather go there than nightlife equivalent of a catheter with spikes, I asked 3 of the bouncers, "What's the crowd like tonight?"...two of them were like "great crowd, great crowd, come in," but one just sort of mumbled "great crowd" with an attitude and didn't make eye contact, which I took issue with. You probably don't know this, on account of my never having shared it before, but people who don't make eye contact seriously piss me off. So I said, as we walked away, "Next time make eye contact, maybe you would've made the sale." I think I made a real impact on him. In retrospect, I should've added, "fat boy," but what can you do. If you found this post to be a phenomenal waste of your time, please send a self-addressed stamped envelope to the DB headquarters, and I'll mail you back 5 dollars. Quick, though, before I change my mind, or take a nap under my desk.

Comments

1

Posted by Anon , Dec 21, 2007 11:57AM

Very useful post...I now know my threshold for spiked-catheter nightlife vs. Scores

2

Posted by anon anon anon , Dec 21, 2007 12:13PM

Commenting on your own article is an interesting tactic. It should be compulsary in all newspapers. Maybe that would get the readership up. They are so full of bullshit. Ditto tv.

3

Posted by horse bit tassles , Dec 21, 2007 12:16PM

I could be wrong, but it really seems like there is not a soul in The Citaaay today. Hedgestonia feels like Philadelphia.

4

Posted by , Dec 21, 2007 12:27PM

amazing, amazing

5

Posted by Moho , Dec 21, 2007 12:34PM

Hahah, this explains so much. Poor bunny.

6

Posted by Mokshunamos , Dec 21, 2007 12:38PM

Brilliant as always.

Though I do hate you for being able to make genocide jokes. I can only make being gratuitously firebombed in non-strategic cities jokes. Which don't really work.

7

Posted by , Dec 21, 2007 12:54PM

wow.

cough.

SASE on the way.

8

Posted by ksql , Dec 21, 2007 1:08PM

Bess is my hero

9

Posted by , Dec 21, 2007 1:43PM

what's SASE?

10

Posted by Been There , Dec 21, 2007 1:45PM

The worst titty-bar in America is 10 miles west of Omaha, Nebraska, in an old service station just a little farther west than Father Flannigan's Boys Town.

One juke box, old geezer emcee, one skinny crystaled out dancer with a perpetual runny nose named Amber. Dark and cold place with one grey stubble whiskered farmer in wild black and red plaid coat sipping watered down draft beer at the end of the "runway".

Avoid it unless the guys from Tenaska want to take you there.

11

Posted by , Dec 21, 2007 1:55PM

that actually sounds pretty sweet. i bet amber would definitely be down for some space docking

12

Posted by anonymous , Dec 21, 2007 2:34PM

Are you trying out for Gawker? They have openings. That post would be as apropos there as here.

13

Posted by , Dec 21, 2007 2:44PM

@2.34. what's your point? oh right, you don't have one. douche bag.

14

Posted by , Dec 21, 2007 2:50PM

i barebacked a ukrainian whore for $$ from scores one time. sadly she gave me the clap, which unbeknownst to me i gave to my ex-gf. fun times.

15

Posted by Onegin , Dec 21, 2007 3:13PM

Hey bareback, is there any chance you work in structured finance?

16

Posted by Mikes. Hard. Lemonade. , Dec 21, 2007 4:20PM

@2:50 - Are you a VP?

17

Posted by , Dec 21, 2007 4:43PM

@3:13 - HF, convert arb

18

Posted by Anal_yst , Dec 22, 2007 7:36PM

Bess ya coulda just flagged down a cab and dropped the "oops i don't have enough can we stop by an ATM" line. Of course then you're presented with the decision of delivering on your promise, or fucking over the poor habib and making a run for it.

19

Posted by Matthew Graham , Dec 27, 2007 10:39AM

Bess,
I love you, marry me?

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