More Holiday Parties You're Not Invited To But Are Encouraged To Attend: Lehman, Goldman, Carlyle, Citi, Etc.

Posted by Bess Levin, Dec 05, 2007, 12:53pm

• Lehman Brothers: Tonight, 7 pm, Pier Sixty at Chelsea Piers. Our tipster seems to think this means “there won’t be any writedown that the Street keeps talking about coz [sic] the bonuses will be announced before the party and I’d be pretty dumbstruck if those will be cut today—they had plenty of time to announce and prepare us for the worst!”

• Goldman Sachs (derivatives): Tonight, 6 pm, the Volstead

• Carlyle: Tonight, 7 pm, Central Park Boathouse. Would’ve been infinitely cooler if it were the Boat Basin but whatevs, live and let live.

• Citi (FIG): December 13, 6 pm, 583 Park Ave. Fun fact: this sometime party venue is a Christian Science church, which rents itself out for special events. The Scientists get a percentage of the revenue from each party, and still worship there during the week. “Christian Science” is inscribed in huge letters on the outside, and creeps us out every time we walk past it on the way home. We’ll be going, if only because Hank Paulson is rumored to be DJ’ing the event, and it's been a while since we saw someone palm a basketball.

• Some firm called MJX Capital Advisors: December 14, 6 pm, Plataforma. There will apparently only be 7 people there but go anyway, hilarity will ensue.

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Comments

Posted by Mike, Dec 05, 2007 1:15PM

LEH Equities party tonight -- True
LEH Equities Bonuses today -- False

Posted by Anon, Dec 05, 2007 1:25PM

Anyone else just think that "Goldman Sachs Derivitives" paired with The Volstead just looks funny, given the contradiction in personalities/the venue.

Posted by Jman, Dec 05, 2007 1:56PM

Unless you work at GS, prepare for the fact your bonus will suck this year

Posted by , Dec 05, 2007 2:00PM

why would anyone in equities who doesn't completely such ass get a lower bonus this year?

Posted by , Dec 05, 2007 2:10PM

Bonuses sucking?

We got double cash bonuses this year, bitches.

Posted by i do, Dec 05, 2007 2:10PM

bess, u like the frat house basement floor appeal of the Boat Basin?

Posted by Anon, Dec 05, 2007 2:14PM

JMan,
thanks for re-iterating the same point that every business publication has made clear multiple times this year.

2:00, you're right...Non-FICC businesses are being paid up via the reduced comp from ex-FICC, or harshly punished FICC employees.

Posted by , Dec 05, 2007 2:17PM

haha....It's truly laughable to think about a bunch of GS derivitive guys (or really most derivitive guys) huddled in a small dark room, trying to act cool, with nothing more than their bonuses and quant talk to discuss. Plenty of RE guys may not get paid this year, but there's only so much being a tool is worth.

Posted by Anonymous, Dec 05, 2007 2:21PM

You are getting a much much lower bonus for misbehavior. A timeout was considered but was rejected because no one has gone to jail just yet.

Posted by anonymous, Dec 05, 2007 2:25PM

Watch out at the GS party - Ben Stein might come in disguise to put Visine in your drinks.

I hope the rest of you enjoy your Mike's Hard Lemonade - that will be your bonus for this year. And no - you will not be allowed to take any home from the bar.

Posted by sledge, Dec 05, 2007 2:46PM

Bear will be holding their holiday party the day before bonuses are announced. Probably at some shit venue like the Marriott across from their Brooklyn office. What a cesspool!

Bonuses this year include a Happy Meal and a blunt from Jimmy.

Posted by Anon, Dec 05, 2007 3:15PM

LEH FI Bonus today -- Nah

Posted by , Dec 05, 2007 4:21PM

JEF - MOMA tonight

Posted by Anon, Dec 05, 2007 9:27PM

GS FICC party is Dec. 12 (comp announcement day) at Marquis.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 12:18AM

didn't see bess at leh tonight. did she not bother?

Posted by anonymous, Dec 06, 2007 3:15AM

Will all the portable ID recognition gizmos how was bess going to enter the Lehman party? May be dressed up as a waitress in a Mao suit. I wonder if she would have looked that hot in that dress.

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