Stevie Cohen Making Us Jump Through Hoops To Score Female Hormone Pills

Posted by Bess Levin, Dec 06, 2007, 12:25pm

Tonight’s parties are Citi at Paramount Bar (6 pm), BNP Paribas at South Street Seaport (7 pm), Jay Goldman & Co. (7:30 pm) at Del Posto, and Choice Energy at Bruno Jamais (5:30 pm) but WAY MORE IMPORTANTLY: SAC Capital in a tent behind the Stamford headquarters. We really feel like we should go but Jesus fucking Christ, Stamford? Additionally we don’t want go make the trek by ourselves and our roommate can’t go, even though we impressed upon her that this party is more or less her Everest. (The weak excuse? Tonight she has a date and afterwards will be knee-deep in planning her "big birthday orgy. Entry fee is waived for anyone who can prove yearly net income over $500,000. Oh, and Anal_yst is invited. And that guy from Hamilton.”)

In other news, the Lehman review:

“fid got off to a slow start. equities got started fast, then got too drunk to keep going. admins danced until the music died. damn dj. and then it emptied out to the after parties. fid was starting up at around 8 but then died fast too. everyone's nervous about bonuses. equities thinks they're gonna subsidize fid. fid is resigned to their fate. oh and no live band this year.”

Earlier: The Secret To SAC's Success?

0Recommend this! 58Comments
Posted in: Bank of America, Citigroup, Parties, SAC Capital

Comments

Posted by N. Uno!, Dec 06, 2007 12:39PM

POOPIES!!!

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 12:52PM

my vote's for citi, who wants to crash?

Posted by had all the IB fun I can stand, Dec 06, 2007 12:54PM

bess, will a pay stub work for entry to your party?

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 1:05PM

Tong blatantly did the Buffalo Bill (Silence of the Lambs) in the reflection of the shark tank

Posted by hedge guy, Dec 06, 2007 1:18PM

any one know what SAC's performance is year-to-date?

Posted by Anal_yst, Dec 06, 2007 1:21PM

...And thats the way ya do it...

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 1:22PM

what is your roommate's base camp?

Posted by Master of None, Dec 06, 2007 1:36PM

$500k? Don't sell yourself short, Bess

"If you know how much you are worth, you aren't worth that much."

Posted by the roommate = the ho, Dec 06, 2007 1:39PM

the party isn't bess's birthday, it's her roommate's.

Posted by Bad Leg Quezada, Dec 06, 2007 1:42PM

S A C == "Sexually Ambiguous Chinese"?

Posted by pierre, Dec 06, 2007 1:46PM

see you hommes et femmes at the BNPP soiree.

Posted by Random Banker, Dec 06, 2007 1:49PM

Bess:

Do you seriously still work here? Is that what your life has come to, whoring yourself out to second year analysts in order to get a look at office parties (which are never even interesting).

Is this the dream you were chasing when you transfered from BU to Amherst? Shouldn't you be cranking out that novel you have kicking around in your head? Or trying to properly discipline your mind to write the firm stream of consciousness poem in iambic-pentameter?

Is this seriously what you do? How do you look your parents in the eye and tell them this is what you've chosen to do with your life? Honestly, its disgusting, I feel soiled.

Posted by 2 Cups, Dec 06, 2007 1:52PM

Random: if you're soiling, get 2 cups and invite Bess and her roomie.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 1:52PM

Random Banker:

You are so sad.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 1:54PM

random banker, how exactly is she whoring herself out? by writing amusing posts that get people to invite dealbreaker, a wall street tabloid, to invite them to their parties?

Posted by pierre, Dec 06, 2007 1:56PM

RB: you live in Stamford?

Posted by keeping score, Dec 06, 2007 1:57PM

random banker, if you've paid attention, the roommate is the whore. and you are the sad, pathetic one.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 1:58PM

"it's digusting"

you have serious issues, bro.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:01PM

Why do you give a shit? Get dked by a 23 yr old hardbody last night and now all bitter?

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:08PM

bess is in no way a whore. not sure if you don't get this thing called sarcasm or are just a dick but you've got anger problems and really shouldn't take them out on a nice girl like bess, on an anonymous message board, under a handle.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:12PM

Writing for DB doesn't sound like a bad gig to me. I'm sure the site earns enough in advertising to make a decent living. And it's probably enjoyable to write.

Probably more fulfilling life than 80% of the readers on this site. Difference is, Random Banker's the only one who hates is life so much he has to talk shit. Prob having second thoughts about the bareback experience he had this morning in the men's room (14th floor of course at BS)

If anyone else wants to talk about poopies, http://www.2girls1cup.com

Posted by HAM'05, Dec 06, 2007 2:14PM

RB: those are fighting words where im from, homie

in any case, doubt pencildick above has enough to "penetrate" bl's thick skin

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:17PM

gotta check out the 2girls1 cup site. It's hilarious.

Just make sure your MD isn't standing behind you looking at your monitor while you do it, or quickly alt+tab back to excel

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:26PM

r. banker-- how do YOU look YOUR parents in the eye and tell them you've chosen to be a banker (i.e. a whore) who spends his days harassing people on the internet (i.e. a dick)?

Posted by Random Banker, Dec 06, 2007 2:28PM

OK, I was just trying to get a rise out of bess. The funniest part is all of you assclowns that think you need to defend her sensibilities.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:30PM

so basically you were trying to get her attention and she ignored you? wow, random banker is even sadder than i'd originally thought.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:32PM

This whole situation was a lot funnier when I was able to imagine that Random Banker was actually Bess's parents anonymously venting their disappointment.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:33PM

RB: now that we've established you were "just trying to get a rise out of bess," can you explain why you thought she'd respond to your douchebag attempt?

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:33PM

here comes RB to backtrack and say "You guys didn't realize i was kidding"? This ain't amateur hour punk

Posted by Random Banker, Dec 06, 2007 2:35PM

Yeah that's right, I was looking for attention and she ignored me. I'm so sad I don't know what to do... how will I live with myself?

Posted by slimjim, Dec 06, 2007 2:35PM

Random Banker is just upset because he has to work during the Festival of lights.
2girls1cup is for fags watch the pain olympics at http://www.flurl.com/item/Hatchet_vs_Gen...

Posted by Random Banker, Dec 06, 2007 2:43PM

Here's the clue that I was kidding. "Or trying to properly discipline your mind to write the firm stream of consciousness poem in iambic-pentameter?"

It was clearly a joke.

What makes all of you homos think Bess will respond when you tell her you want to bang her or fawn over her like 15 year old internet fan boys?

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:47PM

I think random banker is Ron Paul.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:48PM

Bess is the closest thing i have to a girlfriend

Posted by ABCP, Dec 06, 2007 2:51PM

enuff of dis sh@#! RB got it right bros, unfortunately...

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:51PM

@ RB's 2:43 comment. Seeing as how you were "trying to get a rise out of her," you're just as bad as the fawning ones, though using the 2nd grade, pull her ponytail on the playground tactic.

"What makes all of you homos think Bess will respond when you tell her you want to bang her or fawn over her like 15 year old internet fan boys?"

Um, didn't you say you thought she would respond to you?

Posted by a banker trying to make someone else feel bad about their job. hah., Dec 06, 2007 2:54PM

RB has it right in that BL isn't going to bang any of the fan boys, but not in his lameass attempt to make her feel bad about working for DealBreaker.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:58PM

Does anyone know why the two girls eat their own poops from a cup?

http://www.2girls1cup.com

I bet they wish they had some MIke's to wash that shit down...like washing down shit with piss, ha

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 2:58PM

I think RB is Tim Sykes. Damn that's rough!

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 3:00PM

only a philistine would eat poop without using proper utensils, etc.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 3:08PM

that was really really disgusting

Posted by B, Dec 06, 2007 3:10PM

Random Banker


you're a CHIMP

Posted by Senator Craig, Dec 06, 2007 3:33PM

http://www.flurl.com/item/Hatchet_vs_Gen... is the best video on the world wide wen.

Posted by m, Dec 06, 2007 3:35PM

bnp paribas party is at bridgwaters in south street

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 3:41PM

yeah m...the post says that.

Posted by House page, Dec 06, 2007 3:45PM

Senator, check it: www.tyranny.org

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 3:48PM

sorry: http://www.tyranny.org

Posted by Senator Craig, Dec 06, 2007 3:49PM

i am not nor have i ever been gay.

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 4:00PM

i think Random Banker is Seth Peck

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 4:11PM

I think Random Banker is Ron Paul

Posted by www.ronpaulin2008.com, Dec 06, 2007 4:17PM

You are a looser if you don't vote for ron paul you friggen finance greedy people. i don't need a colege degree to knoe that ron paul is the best hope for america

Posted by not lying, Dec 06, 2007 4:19PM

2:58, of all the fucked up shit I've seen in my life that is by far the most fucked up.

Posted by Chuck Norris, Dec 06, 2007 4:29PM

DB should start "ronpaulfacts.com"...it helped my career.

Posted by Chuck Norris, Dec 06, 2007 4:33PM

www.ronpaulfacts.com

Posted by anon, Dec 06, 2007 4:48PM

not lying, could you perhaps be in sales? Your gullibility in clicking on the link without reading up on it first is the reason why spammers make so much money.

I know what it's about, and I choose not to see it. People have posted videos of people's response while watching the video. Plus, if you read up on the dude who put it out there, he mentions they often use chocolate pudding instead of crap.

I really find Bess pretty interesting in how she operates...she'll quote you from any silly post you've made from awhile back, but won't respond to you immediately. Way to up the ante and keep an aura of mystery. She owns all of you guys (and we might as well be a bunch of 6th graders)... ;)

Posted by what...are you talking about? (actually asking), Dec 06, 2007 5:09PM

"she'll quote you from any silly post you've made from awhile back, but won't respond to you immediately."

Posted by , Dec 06, 2007 7:45PM

Bess is really a dude. Seriously.

Posted by Novice, Dec 07, 2007 2:27AM

5:09

The original post. Anal and HAM.

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