Is it too early to get nostalgic for Jimmy Cayne? He was a dream chief executive for those of us who worry that Wall Street may be getting a bit too buttoned-down, populated by cubicles full of gunners with Ivy League degrees who lack even the sense of confident entitlement that such pieces of paper once promised. Even while the credit markets crushed two funds bearing his firm’s name, Cayne was providing fodder for headline writers to make puns about the funds going “up in smoke.” Somehow we doubt Alan Schwartz is going to be anywhere near that much fun.
These reflections were prompted this morning by the news that a third Bear Stearns fund, known as the Bear Stearns Asset Backed Securities Fund, was going to be shuttered. As recently as August, BSABS held $900 million in assets. Now it is returning $90 million to investors, with promises to return a bit more once it finds a way to sell assets it thinks might be worth, well, something. Fingers crossed!
In retrospect, B.S. ABS may not have been the most auspicious initials for a hedge fund.
Bear Stearns Shuts Asset-Backed Hedge Fund After Loss [Bloomberg]
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Bear Stearns
Another One Bites The Dust
Another Bear Stearns Fund Goes Up In Smoke
By Bess Levin
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“May the Schwartz be with you.” He is goign to clean out the skeletons Cayne let fill up in Bear’s closet.
Hey Lew,
How long it take you to conjure up that gem?
There goes Cayne riding off across the big country on his horse, and in the background we see little Johnny Carney, with a look of sadness on his face, calling out to him “Cayne, come back!” “Come back Cayne!” “We’re sorry, come back Cayne”
It took just one bong hit. The writer’s strike has left me with too much free time.
Whatever, dude.
What Bear Stearns needs more than anything is a leader with a good strong German name. Schwartz is not that name.
“May the Schwartz be with you” happens to come from Mel Brooks’ comedy gem “Spaceballs” with the immortal John Candy and Daphne Zuniga.
Daphne Zuniga is immortal only in that she is a poor man’s Bess.
(Of course, I was assuming it was a “Star Drek” reference–”You’ve got what you always wanted, Captain. A bleached blonde in a red convertible on Planet Schwartz”–so what do I know?)