CNBC reports that Citigroup will begin its layoffs next week, ultimately cutting 5 to 10 percent of its 320,000 employees (and then 5 to 10 percent of what remains, and then another 5 to 10 percent after that). This is sort of sad because when you look at that jolly, elfin face of Vikram Pandit's, you don't think "bad cop," you think "Christmas in Bombay" ("over-hyped, highly-mediocre hedge fund," etc.). In other news, it says here that I could take 17 five year olds in a fight, though I think my score was so high because I said that if it came to it, I wouldn't have a problem biting or eye-gouging, which is really only half true. I have issues with sticking things in my eyes- took like a week to master contacts, and drops, etc. flat out don't happen-, so I’m guessing I probably wouldn't be up to the task of sticking things in other people's. Biting, yes, no problem. I would bite the shit out of those 5 year olds. I’ve already bit three five year olds this morning. I'll elaborate more on that later.

Earlier: Layoffs Watch '08: Citigroup

Citigroup Layoffs Could Start Next Week [CNBC]