CNBC reports that Citigroup will begin its layoffs next week, ultimately cutting 5 to 10 percent of its 320,000 employees (and then 5 to 10 percent of what remains, and then another 5 to 10 percent after that). This is sort of sad because when you look at that jolly, elfin face of Vikram Pandit’s, you don’t think “bad cop,” you think “Christmas in Bombay” (“over-hyped, highly-mediocre hedge fund,” etc.). In other news, it says here that I could take 17 five year olds in a fight, though I think my score was so high because I said that if it came to it, I wouldn’t have a problem biting or eye-gouging, which is really only half true. I have issues with sticking things in my eyes- took like a week to master contacts, and drops, etc. flat out don’t happen-, so I’m guessing I probably wouldn’t be up to the task of sticking things in other people’s. Biting, yes, no problem. I would bite the shit out of those 5 year olds. I’ve already bit three five year olds this morning. I’ll elaborate more on that later.
Earlier: Layoffs Watch ‘08: Citigroup
Citigroup Layoffs Could Start Next Week [CNBC]
Harvard Undergrad Who Inspired The Big Short Hoping To Change Wall Street From The Inside
Do A Lot Of Hedge Funds Bounce Back From 86 Percent Losses?
Shia LaBeouf Has Learned A Few Things From His Time On Wall Street
Does Charlie Gasparino Owe David Einhorn (And Barry Ritholtz) An Apology?
Let It Be Known, The CFA Will Not Have Its Name Tainted By Images Of Taints
“christmas in bombay”
i got 37 five year olds
25 five year olds.
My lack of actual fighting experience and athleticism hurt me. However, I was saved by a non-existant (or at least broken) moral compass and freakishly long arms.
no way did you legit get 37 five year olds. that would mean that you have experience with swarms and have a high level of martial arts experience. what person who has that history reads DB? i hate you for lying to us.
only 16 five year olds. my moral compass held me back. if it was midgets of legal age, then thats a completely different story.
Blocked by Websense: “Violence”
Man, I hate my job
Average height, body and very little fighting experience here, but I got 18 because of my total lack of morality.
I got 25. experience with swarms definitely helped here
37 five yr old? Aleksey Vayner is that you?
21 kids, must have been my reluctance to throw a kid if I wasn’t attacked first (moral compass got in the way)…good to see aleksey is still reading DB despite the beating he took at the hands of bess (thus, bess = 38 five yr olds)
I ate 14 five year olds girl scout cookies.
AJ welcome to my world.
Legit:
“You could take on 31 five year old kids in a fight.”
Bring. It. On.
That was with no martial arts experience either. I just fight dirty.
Gunner, how’d the engagement go buddy?
20 here, but how come nobody is discussing the Citi news? I *think* that was the subject of the post.
Anal_yst
8:00 on the middle of the mountain. It was only an 8 out of 10 on the cheesey factor (good burns by everyone on monday I might add, far better than the people on my desk.)
As to how its went: its going. It’s one of Murphy’s laws in full force.
You know, the law about committees spending inversely proportional amounts of time on items based on their importance. None of you warned me that I would be subject to a 20 minute conversation from the inlaws about choosing the right color themes.
But you know, I secretly fear that the color is a relatively trivial discussion compared to how long we will spend on much more important things, such as the food and location.
Blocked by web filter….f’ing big brother
1:24:
There’s a 5 year old tossing contest going on outside Todd Thomson’s old office (aka Todd Mahal)
34 five year olds. Or 4 Vikram Pandits. I’d prefer the Pandits, personally.
How do you, mrpink, know where todd thomson’s old office is?
Don’t wanna contradict too many Gasparino quotes or predicions. He is not drunk but, very mentally aware. Believe it.
@ Gunner – glad it went/is going…from what I’m told (thank god not from direct experience) square whatever time/energy expectations you have for making those various decisions, and thats the base case…
Oh, 30 5-year-olds, apparently all those years of karate, lacrosse and lifting (12-oz curls, come on) paid off?
8 year olds Dude.
33 five year olds, with no martial arts experience