DealBreaker’s Guide To Running Bear Stearns: Part 2

By Bess Levin

Well its come to this. Another great Wall Street firm may go the way of the Dodo, selling itself to a hedge fund. According to the Financial Times, Bear met with both Fortress and Avenue Capital but talks fell through. All we can say is we hope they sell to Avenue. What better than to have Chelsea, and by extension Hillary, Clinton running things. If they sold to Fortress, well then what would that leave us, John Edwards? If either one of these accounts are true, it seems desperate. Let us make this suggestion instead, call up the head of Bear Stearns Merchant Banking (We hear they’re a pretty good shop) and LBO yourself. That way you won’t be dancing to HRC’s tune.
–Everett Stuckey, DealBreaker correspondent.
Bear and Fortress held tie-up talks [Financial Times]

Comments (14)

  1. 1
    Posted by billary | January 11, 2008 at 11:46 AM

    byaaaaaaaah!

  2. 2
    Posted by BSD | January 11, 2008 at 12:28 PM

    The image of Jimmy Cayne being whipped by Chelsea (literally not figuratively – just seems he’d be into that from when we hung out) is too much to bear.
    P.S. Bess, Carney – I’m back. Did you miss me?
    P.P.S. No comment on your prediction either, but good guess: http://www.dealbreaker.com/2007/10/does_this_prove_or_disprove_th_1.php

  3. 3
    Posted by Milfhunter | January 11, 2008 at 12:29 PM

    LBO BSC? I like it. They could pitch it to their LPs as their next ACA.
    John Howard? He could use some realizations – alimony’s a bitch!

  4. 4
    Posted by Anonymous | January 11, 2008 at 12:50 PM

    Has anyone heard any interesting stories coming out of MER today?
    I’m hearing something, and to be honest, I don’t believe it.

  5. 5
    Posted by Anonymous | January 11, 2008 at 1:06 PM

    ML and GS combo?

  6. 6
    Posted by Anonymous | January 11, 2008 at 1:16 PM

    apparently there is a rumor floating around on the of someone quitting and taking a dump on their desk. Not sure what shop. Anyone know about it?

  7. 7
    Posted by Anonymous | January 11, 2008 at 1:18 PM

    …or is it more like spicoli pulling a knife on mr. hand?

  8. 8
    Posted by Anonymous | January 11, 2008 at 1:21 PM

    1:16, that would be the rumor I heard re: MER.

  9. 9
    Posted by Anonymous | January 11, 2008 at 1:29 PM

    Disgusting animals

  10. 10
    Posted by Anonymous | January 11, 2008 at 1:48 PM

    explain how you lbo a company already levered 26x? are you sure you dont mean MBO?

  11. 11
    Posted by Everett Stuckey | January 11, 2008 at 1:55 PM

    I mean its a joke

  12. 12
    Posted by Anonymous | January 11, 2008 at 1:59 PM

    that’s yet another “joke” I don’t get…

  13. 13
    Posted by What, third guy on the deal team? | January 11, 2008 at 2:01 PM

    Um….the FT / BS tie up was news Wednesday….today is Friday…
    Did you hear Hillary won NH?

  14. 14
    Posted by Anonymous | January 11, 2008 at 2:57 PM

    @2:01
    thank you for bringing this up. hey dealbreaker, awesome story and way to really “break” the news. step ya game up.

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