Guess Which CNBC Anchor Went Into Diabetic Shock Early This Morning

Posted by Bess Levin, Jan 16, 2008, 11:11am

Last night CNBC held a little party for the one year anniversary of "Fast Money." I wouldn't call it the "best" party for a cable show about finance I've ever been to (that would be Mark Haines's last soiree. Theme: nude congo line), but it wasn't the "worst" party for a cable show about finance I've ever been to (that would be Cody Willard's short-lived telephone hotline singles 'party line'). I would peg it as a "very good" party (for a cable show about finance).

Sadly, we arrived too late for Maria Bartiromo, who jetted off after the first 20 minutes, but had ample time to check out Melissa Francis in her black leather boots. Charlie Gasparino was there, and he spent a good part of the night complaining about the lack of (his words/pronunciation) "GABA-GOUL" (he was also heard telling a slight young man that when you're walking through the East Village at night, you have to show "No fear, NO FEAR," or risk being mugged). Dylan Ratigan made an unsolicited but much appreciated promise to us that he'd buy Charles a Champion sweatshirt, take the time to cut off the sleeves, and make the boy from Rego Park wear it the next time he's on the show. In the event that Ratigan comes through, I will definitely start watching Fast Money.

The single greatest part of the evening was the genius dessert gimmick. In the center of every "Fast Money" cupcake was a rolled up five dollar bill (wrapped in plastic). Watching guests lunge for every mini cake they could get their hands on no matter the obstacle (physical or conversational: Melissa Francis nearly got trampled by two asset managers, and Ron Blarney got cut off talking about proxy access by at least four different people), you'd think there were, I don't know, tens in them. Obviously, DealBreaker was not above this sort of animal behavior, which you can see after the jump. The pics were taken on a camera phone and are a bit grainy and classless, but so is shoving money in dessert food and making your guests fight for it, without the promise of at least one cupcake having a 100.

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Posted in: CNBC

Comments

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 11:22AM

omg whose hands are those WHOSE HANDS ARE THOSE?!?!?!

Posted by Becky Boot Fan, Jan 16, 2008 11:30AM

Very classless, and quite unsanitary. Biting into one and having the filth of a paper note in your mouth? "FastMoney welcomes you all to Tomaine Lane!" Enjoy.

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 11:31AM

hilarious

Posted by TV Guider, Jan 16, 2008 11:35AM

I am so thrilled that "Fast Money" had its first anniversary party and the many lovelies of CNBC showed their faces and split. Let's hope this was also a "Bye Bye" party. Does anyone watch that show....and what is the benefit???

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 11:39AM

So although you got $5 in your cupcake, you also contracted an inordinate amount of diseases...

Posted by ksql, Jan 16, 2008 11:46AM

Not a pleasant money shot

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 11:48AM

& what about the silent elephant (or should I say monkey?) in the room -- Erin Burnett?

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 11:51AM

Hahaha. 11:22 is hilarious!! yea whose hands are those???!!!

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 11:52AM

& what about the silent elephant (or should I say monkey?) in the room: Erin Burnett?

Posted by Seton Hall '07, Jan 16, 2008 11:54AM

those gotta be levin's hands

Posted by Negative Carey, Jan 16, 2008 11:54AM

It's "Ptomaine", Becky Boot...how about some attention to detail...

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 11:56AM

i move that we get to see hand girl's breasts.

Posted by i heart fast money, Jan 16, 2008 11:57AM

i do...i dont know why- i just like it...and did anyone read, the $5's were wrapped in plastic...so they werent contaminating the cupcake...also, lets be real, with commenters like slimjim, i doubt that would be the dirtiest thing DB readers (and writers) put in their mouth.

Posted by pierre, Jan 16, 2008 11:57AM

are you people fucking illiterate? the bills were wrapped in plastic

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 11:59AM

hey pierre, go back to france

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 12:05PM

hey beth, get a manicure

Posted by pierre, Jan 16, 2008 12:05PM

it's pathetic when natives can't understand their own language

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 12:06PM

if those are bess's hands this is the biggest news to hit dealbreaker since EVER

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 12:07PM

"hey beth, get a manicure"...why do so many pseudo-straight men read this site?

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 12:08PM

those hands like mighty soft...but i think i should test them out, just to make sure

Posted by hands, Jan 16, 2008 12:09PM

they dont look fem, and they dont look like man hands...child hands? burnett hands?

Posted by who's w me?, Jan 16, 2008 12:09PM

clearly not bess' hands. they're too innocent and gentle to be hers. plus they have no signs of manicure on them (which any girl from NJ would have). my bet is that its the new interns hands. look how soft and "unaware of what the world holds" they are.

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 12:11PM

agreed 12:09- they look like a 14 year old catholic school girl's hands. which i would be okay with.

Posted by anonamoney, Jan 16, 2008 12:11PM

I agree with Pierre - clearly stated, and pictured, the bills were not in direct contact with the cupcakes.
please people - pay attention -

and, I also agree I'm not sure what the point of the show is - lots of talk, guys with funny shaped heads chiming into Dylan's rapid fire monologues. He's a bit in love with himself, me thinks.

Posted by Seton Hall '07, Jan 16, 2008 12:13PM

maybe myrna's doing contract work

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 12:15PM

agree with 12:11.

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 12:17PM

those hands look very gentle, but as though, with proper direction, they could also apply the perfect amount of pressure, me thinks.

Posted by Phil Seltzer, Jan 16, 2008 12:18PM

They blew it!!!

Should have had Euros instead of fivers. A five dollar bill's barely worth like $1.25 these days.

Posted by Becky Boot Fan, Jan 16, 2008 12:29PM

Big news would have been Karen Finerman getting into a slap fight with Erin.

Bet $150 on Finerman to win $100.

Posted by Anon, Jan 16, 2008 12:31PM

One cupcake had something else covered in plastic in her....that cupcake's name was Erin

Posted by big news would have been, Jan 16, 2008 12:32PM

if Erin B beat up JC for the "8 Ways to...." post, and the lame after attempts at defending her....we all know EB wouldnt try anything w bess

Posted by HAM'05, Jan 16, 2008 12:41PM

i had my intern analyze the hands above with the ones featured here: http://www.dealbreaker.com/2006/09/pardon_me_but_might_i_suggest_1.php
(12, 13, 14) from the bottom.

his analysis is as follows:
a) the hands featured above are the same as those featured in aformentioned post (within a σ)
b) while the same, he could neither confirm nor deny that they belonged to BL
c) still, he would prefer to feel them all over his sexy body than not as they look remarkably soft

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 12:47PM

Ok, so for $15 we get to see Bess's hands. I'm pretty sure I like where this is headed. Does DB take Paypal?

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 12:48PM

Those hands belong to Ron Paul because they are used to gently guide this country out of the shitty place it's in now.

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:04PM

Those are Carney's hands.

Posted by i said it, Jan 16, 2008 1:06PM

if those are carney's hands, i want to get jerked off by carney.

Posted by hands (i, Jan 16, 2008 1:18PM

i've seen carneys hands-- and i thought those were his hands in the above pics, but looking at the link provided by HAM'05, i now think they are bess' hands... either way, i'm sort of disturbed that we can immediately tell the diff btwn guy hands and girl hands. i'm sorry, but you both have soft ugly hands (i know that's mean, and i'm sorry- but the truth hurts)

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:29PM

what areyou talking about 1:18? those hands look soft and smooth and begging to touch my bod.

Posted by Anal_yst, Jan 16, 2008 1:30PM

No rings, bracelets, or other jewelery lead me to believe these are man-hands, although they (as already pointed out), look a bit on the soft side to be true man-hands. Might I suggest hitting the gym, or some manual labor to toughen em up, lay off the vaseline-lined gloves, etc.

Posted by That was funny, Jan 16, 2008 1:34PM

@ 12:47: reminds me of the old George Bernard Shaw quote "We know what you are, we're just haggling over price..."

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:35PM

@12:11
You THINK DRat is in love with himself?? The a-hole thinks he is smart and funny, wrong on both counts, but he sure tries to be Letterman. His big skill is not listening to anyone. Melissa is the best.

I can't believe they actually invited you, did "BuyBuyBurnett" show up?

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:41PM

confirmed, look like levin hands. just re-reading that, it is impressive how her writing style has changed. used to be so much more, i dunno, humble and true. funny how success and the adoration of dozens if not 500k fans can change a girl

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:45PM

i've always loved her writing and i think it's only gotten better with time. why such a hater 1:41?

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:46PM

so wide eyed and full of wonder at the world

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:47PM

@1:41

Hi Erin

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:47PM

those are definitely not man hands, unless the man is a 13 year old girl. has DB fallen on hard times?

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:48PM

spiers would be proud

Posted by hands, Jan 16, 2008 1:49PM

question, what did the DB kids spend the money on? cheap hookers or whiskey?

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 1:59PM

Elizabess, do you bite your nails?

Posted by EBurnett, Jan 16, 2008 2:10PM

I ate all the cupcakes I could! Just swallowed em whole, ate the money and everything!! Money makes everything taste so good!! :) I also got to step on Missy's boots and pretend I didn't!! :)

Posted by microfinance, Jan 16, 2008 3:50PM

Isn't there a hint of a glint of clear (or maybe glossy flesh-color) polish on the left thumbnail in the bottom photo?

And, wasn't Bess identified elsewhere as a recent college grad?

Tentative conclusion: While the hands are indeed too innocent-looking for a habitue of hyper-sophisticated, cutthroat, NY Banking milieu that DB is supposed to project, the evidence nevertheless points to a significantly higher probability that they belong to BL, than to a student intern, or somebody's 13 y.o. cousin who was visiting DB's plush HQ in the corner booth at Starbucks off Route 4 in Teaneck.

And there's no more than 1% probability that they belong to a man. (At least not a straight man of any age; ashamed to say I wouldn't know what a young gay man's hands might look like.)

Posted by Rogue Trader, Jan 16, 2008 3:51PM

Gasparino wants some Gabba-Goul, huh? Southern Italian is at best a pidgin language and at worst a bastardization...

Posted by gab, Jan 16, 2008 4:51PM

This over-analysis of hands is disturbing. Christ, spend more time analysing CDO's or something.

And wtf is "gabba-goul?"

Posted by @ gab, Jan 16, 2008 5:01PM

gabba-goul = cappicola/capicola

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 5:09PM

gab @4:51 You're obvioulsy "medican"

medican = american = not ethnic = not ethnic = your mother fed you swanson's TV dinners = you wouldn't don't know good food if you fell into a vat of it

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 5:17PM

medican = american = at a great disadvantage when negotiating with jews, italians, indians, chinese, russians, et.al.

Exception is Japanese, cause they are essentially "medican"

Posted by Brian, Jan 16, 2008 6:01PM

Damnit, I threw out my cupcake after only two bites. I bet it had the $100...

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 6:23PM

looks like EBurnett wasn't at the party, otherwise, Bess
could have mentioned it.

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 7:27PM

I think she was there. Erin is "The Heiress" and sat in for Dillon over xmas week.

BESS! Don't be cruel. Tell us about Erin at the party.

Was she there? What was the gossip?

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 7:31PM

erin was not at the party

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 8:00PM

But what were people saying about Mens Health-gate?

I don't believe it was just talk about black boots, sweatshirts, $5 bills and gaba-goul?

Posted by , Jan 16, 2008 8:34PM

Have the lawyers for See and Be Seen contacted DB, I wonder...?

Posted by the private dick, Jan 16, 2008 11:34PM

Assume that DB just sent two people, right? Carney and BL? And Levin said the pictures were taken on a camera phone. And assume the photographer is probably the owner of the phone being used to take the pictures.

In the fifth picture above, there's a blackberry on the table. Probably safe to assume that that phone belongs to the other person, the one holding the cupcake.

And didn't BL have a few posts about finally buying a blackberry, and which one she bought? I'm too lazy to look up the post, but if the phone she bought matches the model of the phone lying on that table, then we may have a winner. If the phone she bought doesn't match, then it looks like those are the hands of a 14-y.o. schoolgirl.

I'm just in college so I'm really out of my league here, but I've heard that bankers carry around two phones? A work blackberry and a personal one? This would throw a curve in the logic. But can Carney/BL really be considered "professionals"?

Posted by the private dick, Jan 16, 2008 11:45PM

fyi i'm applying to SA positions right now, and if any of you think that i did a better job than HAM'05's intern please leave me a post and i'll give you my contact info

this is what OCS is talking about when they tell me to network, right?

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 12:00AM

@11:45 You lost the offer when you said "I'm too lazy....". In this market, going to say Trenton to locate the right binder inserts is expected behavior.

Posted by tpd, Jan 17, 2008 1:27AM

good point, i'll apply to dealbreaker instead

Posted by des, Jan 17, 2008 2:01PM

anyone got a picture of Melissa francis in those black boots?

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