mozilo.jpgSo Countrywide made up a bunch of documents related to the bankruptcy case of a Pennsylvania homeowner in order to make an ill-gotten dollar for whatever it is Countrywide employees/shareholders spend their dollars on (afternoons at the dog tracks, mostly). Fabricated a bunch of dates, lied about some stuff pertaining to escrow requirements on a loan, etc, etc, etc. Unfortunately, someone cut some corners, failed to consult the company handbook on how to fuck people and yada yada yada, the courts got involved. A judge said he “can’t get over what [he’s been] told about these recreations,” intuited that “these letters are a smoking gun that something is not right in Denmark,” and now maybe the injured party will get some justice but probably not.
We like to think of ourselves as “with the little guy”-type people (Steve Schwarzman, 5’6”, Ron Blarney, 4’10”) but in this case we will make an exception: if you’re too stupid to realize there’s nothing about the face of Mystic Tan Man that doesn’t say “I will screw you for a dime,” you deserve to find yourself in foreclosure.
Lender Tells Judge It ‘Recreated’ Letters [NYT]

Comments (34)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 12:21 PM

    “afternoons at the dog tracks”
    hahaha

  2. Posted by Stabone | January 8, 2008 at 12:49 PM

    why is that dude orange?

  3. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 12:52 PM

    As I posted back on October 11, 2007 when this picture surfaced from beneath some rock ….. I would much rather see a picture of Bess than “Honest Angelo”.
    You don’t even need to be tan! Nude, sure! Tan, no.

  4. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 12:56 PM

    “afternoons at the dog tracks”
    hahaha
    i like this trend where everyone copies in their favorite line from bess’s post that they think is funny

  5. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 12:57 PM

    me too: “you deserve find yourself in foreclosure.”

  6. Posted by WTF | January 8, 2008 at 1:02 PM

    Jeeezzzz…..I can’t wait to hear that CNBC’s very own Maria Bartiromo will be interviewing Angelo Mozilo to ask”Where do you think you screwed up going forward?”………

  7. Posted by Dave Chappelle | January 8, 2008 at 1:08 PM

    Trading halted . . . bitches

  8. Posted by Dave Chappelle | January 8, 2008 at 1:09 PM

    (You should let us edit our comments)
    *COUNTRYWIDE TRADING HALTED ON NYSE AFTER 17% DECLINE TO $6.32
    *DJ Countrywide: See No Basis To Rumor Of Rating Agency Action
    *COUNTRYWIDE MAKES COMMENTS IN E-MAILED STATEMENT :CFC US
    *DJ Countrywide: ‘No Substance’ To Bankruptcy Rumors >CFC
    *COUNTRYWIDE DOESN’T KNOW OF PENDING RATINGS DOWNGRADE :CFC US
    *COUNTRYWIDE SAYS `NO SUBSTANCE’ TO BANKRUPTCY SPECULATION

  9. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 1:18 PM

    Love the post

  10. Posted by mrpink | January 8, 2008 at 1:21 PM

    He looks like an irradiated raccoon.

  11. Posted by anon4life | January 8, 2008 at 1:22 PM

    Angelo Mozillo and “The Thing” from The Fantastic Four: Separated At Birth?

  12. Posted by 1-2 | January 8, 2008 at 1:30 PM

    Anyone else find it ironic that CFC is based in Callabassas (Los Angeles Valley) yet he still needs to fake-bake? I mean even britney isnt that stupid…wait, strike that.

  13. Posted by Lee D | January 8, 2008 at 1:46 PM

    Aside from the obvious Oompa Loompa parallels, Mozillo looks like the kind of guy you’d see at a shopping mall selling Estate Planning or Fractional Ownership of vacation properties.

  14. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 2:01 PM

    You guys… I agree, he is pretty cheezy looking, but as I’ve said many times before (the first time a month or so ago when everyone was railing abou the cheezeball faux rappers at the Alex Brown Miami office, the second time during all the yuk yuk over the short hedgie with all the monitors and then in response to the venom over Steven Cohen’s glasses from Pearl Vision), when deciding who to turn your money over to, you can go very wrong if you put too much importance on how the person looks. The industry is filled with square jawed boys who rowed for Yale. That are very good at loosing money.

  15. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 2:08 PM

    good at losing it to?

  16. Posted by veruca salt | January 8, 2008 at 2:10 PM

    that pic….it’s like harry belefonte bred with an umpa loompa.

  17. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 2:11 PM

    the Jews.

  18. Posted by Johnny Bravo | January 8, 2008 at 2:17 PM

    That pic reminds me of the description of health care management in “Monkey Business” – the ridiculous suit with protruding lapels, always en route to the golf course…I guess that look applies to the real estate business as well.

  19. Posted by JMAN | January 8, 2008 at 2:21 PM

    Unfrozen Caveman Mortgage Broker

  20. Posted by The Dresser | January 8, 2008 at 2:25 PM

    Never….repeat: never…..never wear a blue shirt with white collar and cuffs. Think white belt and shoes.

  21. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 2:25 PM

    @2:08 (good question) @2:11 (partial credit, cause not all Jews are smart) Good, we’re finally making some progress here. Find out who’s good at prying it from them, based not on seductive looks but on whatever secret sauce recipe it takes.

  22. Posted by Cpt. Obvious | January 8, 2008 at 2:31 PM

    Nice mixed metaphor, your honor.

  23. Posted by To The Hilt | January 8, 2008 at 2:31 PM

    I once caddied for big ‘Mo.
    Great tipper.

  24. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 2:32 PM

    @2:25 But they sell them in J. Press and what could be more establishment. I think it depends on who’s wearing. Its a Gordon Gekko look on the right person, mafiosi on the wrong. Question is can anyone get away with Gordon Gekko anymore. I think not. Looks too smarmy, even on a prepster. You thoughts Dresser?

  25. Posted by JMAN | January 8, 2008 at 2:35 PM

    What do I have to do to put you in this mortgage today??
    Guy is a used car salesman

  26. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 2:47 PM

    @2:32. Larry Kudlow pulls it off well.

  27. Posted by Al Kida | January 8, 2008 at 3:09 PM

    @2:47. No, he doesn’t. When I see Larry I think ‘swarmy’.

  28. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 3:11 PM

    true. its not dead entirely but you basically gotta be a kudlow or mozillo type.
    mafioso? really? i can’t recall seeing any portrayed in a royal blue shirt with white collar/cuffs

  29. Posted by NSD | January 8, 2008 at 3:58 PM

    @3:09 – when I see Larry I think of giant piles of coke

  30. Posted by Rahodeb | January 8, 2008 at 4:03 PM

    I think John Mackey looks cute in white cuffs and collar…

  31. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 4:08 PM

    There used to be a mens store in the Trump Plaza condo at 63/Third and there still is one on 65/First that was/is filled with this look. I always wondered who bought it.

  32. Posted by J$ | January 8, 2008 at 4:27 PM

    I live right around there, the one on 65/1st is called Take 6. They’ve got a big store, but I never see anyone go in… It’s the type of place I’d shop at if I was a pimp.
    Unfortunately, I’m just a student so it’s Men’s Warehouse for now.

  33. Posted by Anonymous | January 8, 2008 at 4:32 PM

    @4:27 wait for the Barney’s Warehouse Sale. Similar prices, much better stuff. No dressing rooms, so wear gym shorts or boxers under your jeans, so you can try the stuff on in the aisles. Hint for you ladies: good place to check out guys legs, if you are so inclined.

  34. Posted by J$ | January 8, 2008 at 4:37 PM

    Thanks, will be looking into this if I actually get some interviews.

Leave a comment

You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.