JPMorgan Fourth-Quarter Earnings Fall, Miss Analyst Estimates (Bloomberg)
A miss. JP Morgan net income declined to $2.97 billion, from last year’s $4.53 billion, owing in part to a $1.3 billion loss on subprime debt. The company missed estimates by little, though at this point, it’s hard to get too worked up over that part. Nobody really knew anything. Here’s the full release. Have at it.
Asian Stock Markets Plunge (AP)
So goes Intel, so goes the world. One of the ugliest days of an ugly year turned extremely ugly post-bell yesterday, when Intel came in light and plunged double digits. And you know, it’s a biggie. So the world took the queue overnight and did the same, with the Asian markets getting particularly battered. Hang Seng down 5.4 percent; Nikkei down 3.4 percent, with declines pretty much everywhere else as well.
Bull Market for Clones: Studs, Not Stock (AP)
So here’s the deal: the FDA says that milk and meat from cloned animals is kosher… well, not the Kosher kosher, but kosher for sale. But at this point (supposedly), you’re not actually going to be eating cloned beef or milk from cloned cows. Instead, the industry is likely to use cloning only for the best of the breed — the stud animals whose genes they really want to propagate. The chattel, for now, are just that.
Stimulus Deal May Be Possible (WSJ)
Back a few years ago, when things started really coming out of the post-bubble doldrums, the prevailing attitude was basically: look, we’ve seen tax cuts, lowered interest rates and heavy government spending and there’s a lot of damn cash coming into the system right now. It never meant anything fundamentally good to the economy, but cash finds its way to corporate coffers and it made their stocks go up (at least that’s a common read of history). So now we’re talking about it all over again. More mondo rate cutes might be on the way, and there’s even some talk of more tax cuts. In an interview, congressmen Barney Frank said he could support a stimulus package if it didn’t involve making the Bush tax cuts permanent. Either way, the question for investors, is can they make the same thing work again?
Buddy, Can You Spare a Billion? (NYT)
The SWFs get all of the attention, but it’s not like there’s no cash here anymore. NYT notes that the recent infusions have involved some local boys, including mutual and hedge funds and pension funds. From our perch, cash is cash, and it doesn’t much matter from whence it comes. The real issue is the staggering losses. Whether it’s a fund in NJ or a fund in Singapore is sort of ancillary to the matter.
2008 Republican Nominee (Intrade)
Three states; three winners. Frontrunner John McCain wasn’t able to repeat his 2000 performance, losing in Michigan to native son Mitt Romney, who promised the good citizens of the state that he would “fight for every good job”, whatever the heck that means. Traders at Intrade still have McCain out in front, though he’s been brought back to earth. Romney is up to $.20 on the dollar, having been as low as about $.12 not too long ago. Going long Romney to win the whole nomination might’ve been an easy bet over the last couple of days, particularly as his Michigan contract started to zoom upward (they definitely got that one right).
Whoops: MacBook Air is the Apple Foleo (TechFold)
Apple took a real plunge yesterday during Steve Jobs’ Stevenote. Basically, he didn’t have anything exciting to say, at all. The two real announcements had to do with online movie rentals and a real thin Macbook. And though the Macbook looks pretty, folks are hammering it on the specs.
bob genader joins chuckles, cayne and stan the man on the lunch line
I”m clearly a little out of it still, as I read “SWF’s get all the attention” as pretty damn obvious that promiscious hot white women are in high demand, d’oh…
uh, for the record Anal_yst, I did too, but then i’m always out of it…
Is anyone else extremely creeped out by this FDA declaration by the way? I always made fun of vegetarians but I think this might justify switching sides.
You trust the FDA?
On another note, re Asian mkt comment above, do you mean ‘cue’? I’ve never heard of someone taking the queue, perhaps getting on a queue…
“single” and “hot” are not necessarily equivalent “single” and “promiscuous” on the other hand …
Girl glad i’m not the only one…
I will continue to make fun of veges, and similarly continue my denial or ignorance of where my delicious food comes from/how it is made.
Besides even if you want to know, aren’t you glad that companies are going to be using science to make sure that only the best are making our meat? Its like forced food Darwinism (or something).
agreed. comforting to know that in our lifetimes cloned Kobe will trickle down to the masses…
I yearn for the days when SWF meant Steven Webber running for his life in B movies (http://imdb.com/title/tt0105414/).
Also, clearly no one ran through the FDA actual article because (at least for now) the cost of cloning is infinetly (well 10-20x) the price of simple in-vitro or, well, i dont know, getting some cows all hopped up on some Jackl Daniels and putting Barry White on. This isn’t going to change much. I’d throw some cloned meat on the bbq so long as it’s the delicious kind.
@ Just me: Agreed I think they mean take the cue not take the queue. Unless its a clever pun saying the internationals are getting in line on the downtown train. But given past homonym experience here I guess the former.
for the record, J Dimon is holding a clinic right now on how to run a conference call
yiamas!
1-2, it being expensive doesn’t detract from it being deemed suitable for eating-just from its availability in the marketplace.
the world actually took the “cue” overnight
Girl, exactly. All i was saying was that it’s not something that’s going to effect our lives in the slightest; if it doesnt make sense for the farmers to do it’s not making it to our tables. But i still dont trust the FDA with anything anyways.
However, besides the anecdotal (run, run, cloned food is coming) bs i know nothing on the topic…and i doubt anyone else really does either. People have been screaming about genetically modified food for years, and much of what you eat is GM. Even a cloned Kobe steak would certainly have an additive effect on my near term life, even if the long term effects turn out to be bad. Anyways, we’re all dead in the long term.
As pop’s used to say about his vices (smoking and drinking), “as long as they take the years off the end of my life I can deal with it.”
It would be interesting though that in this era of resurging food prices due to bad policy decisions (my god, do the “farmers” really need ANY subsidies at this point) it’d be interesting to think that an army of cloned cows could save the day.
Eat Mor Chikin.
@10:05 I like the fact that you know the difference between “effect” and “affect”. Good sign.
@10:09 sarcasm right?
@10:12 Yes and no. My jokey way of saying that I think that 1-2 is one of the rare intelligent beings on DB. Irony et al don’t always come through on the net.
True, i just find it insulting that the FDA readily approves cloned beef but has been effectively blocking the development of a female viagra for years now. That, my friends, would be the ultimate contribution to society.
(btw, wise man, your pops)
@10:20 i ask because he does not seem to actually know the difference between “affect” transitive verb and “effect” intransitive verb in the above post
Two thoughts on the viagra thing: 1) sex drives wane as people grow older; Darwinian, since people also get ugly as they age; but people now don’t age and get ugly as fast as they used to, so its good that viagra came along to reverse what evolution put in place 2) tell me more about the female viagra thing; I thought that female urges actually increase with age, peaking at around 50. Whos this female viagra for? The young uns?
girl color me ignant could you explain what is important about female viagra? aren’t your sex parts capable of functioning whether or not you are aroused?
a bottle of lube is safer than female viagara. but a bottle of lube won’t help out a limp old dick. maybe this is the distinction the FDA makes?
ok i didn’t expect to give you all a lesson this morning but why not.
First of all, sexual dysfunction in women is certainly different than in men (as you stated 10.30) but no less important (as you may have yet to learn). It’s chcracterized by lack of desire to have sex, ability to get aroused, and most importantly to orgasm. The problem is that it apparently primarily has psychological roots that are closely tied to physical performance so its not a simple solution but given 43% of women claim to suffer it i’d say there’s a rather large market for the thing, wouldn’t you?
Ok lesson over. i can’t believe i just wrote all of that.
okay thanks for the primer. so in summary it is the case the FDA is having to make a decision about whether to approve drugs to make sexual intercourse more pleasurable, as opposed to possible then? i’m all in favor of a well lubricated woman who can come but i have a hard time getting my moral dander up about this unfortunately.
i would like to posit that maybe if (as wiki claims) female sexual dysfunction affects up to 80% of women than maybe it is not actual a dys-function but a normal function
I wouldn’t expect you to…Actually apparently the FDA blocked the first two rounds but now as competition is soaring to get some kind of drug on the market and convince people of yet another pill they must have, the FDA is coming around.
Like the beef, it doesn’t affect me either way, I just find the juxtaposition interesting.
@10:47- maybe. or maybe 80% of their partners have no clue what their doing? ha
Why can’t they invent the opposite of Viagra. It would make me alot more productive.
@girl yes, maybe so. my working thesis is that the dudes at FDA are such outstanding cocksmen that they don’t want to put on market any drugs to make women enjoy sex more with just anyone as it would diminish their relative advantage.
punny have you tried marriage?
10:55:
Wait. Women have an 80% “sexual dysfunction rate” and that’s because the “men don’t have a clue what their doing”?
And of course, the solution to that would be for women to become slutterly en masse and teach men at every moment and in willy nilly fashion, and that will happen the same year that Ron Paul becomes president.
When men stop wanting sex, then women’s “dysfunction” rates will suddenly drop.
@10:20 – Thanks
@20:26 – the Affect/Effect thing has always bothered me, but i’m pretty sure that i got it right on that one. i googled it for your own edification (if you call me out on spelling i’m going to kill you…or a colleague of your choice)
Google this “define:effect”
@ 11:19- you sound like the girls in my old college feminism class- i love it
@ Finn- my only comment is that i find it curious that you equate women enjoying such activity with being “slutterly en masse”.
@ 11:24: i’m pretty sure i still don’t understand the distinction- might warrant a private tutorial..
most commonly, affect is the transitive verb and effect is the noun. so when you AFFECT something, you have an EFFECT on it.
most commonly, affect is the transitive verb and effect is the noun. so when you AFFECT something, you have an EFFECT on it.
most commonly, affect is the transitive verb and effect is the noun. so when you AFFECT something, you have an EFFECT on it.
@Girl, no problem…any chance we could remove the translator from our shenanigan planning?
OOOOOOOOOH cock block grammar lesson!
Oh Anonymous, you intuitively knew I need to be told smthg 3 times to fully grasp it. Thank you!
@1-2. definitely.
Women enjoy many things, including sex, in often sedate manner.
What I am suggesting is that if men are not doing the right thing, causing female sexual dysfunction, then women need to be a bit more enthusiastic and vocal than their normal instincts might dictate.
I didn’t mean to suggest that you and the 20% of women without “dysfunction” are sluts. Just less sedate.
Is anybody else wondering if Finn knows anything about women or ever had a date?
ps, Banging for more than 20 minutes isnt what its made up to be in Porn.
-18-30 y.o. Women get dry after 15-20 minutes, even if you are packing 12 inches.
-Yes, they cycle back and can get wet again, then that dries up too.
-Yes, if you have the stamina they can last longer but then they get sore and need a break.
So, for all you girls hoping the man can last longer than the 3 minutes 2/3 of men can last…be sure you have the internal lube to support as friction scabs are tres painful for both….
For the Gents, banginf longer than 1 hr actually put alot of pressure on your prostate too. Check the urology blogs. Lot of studs have problems too…