January 2008

  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 01.14.08

    $$$Deals: B of A Rescues M&A, Too In our M&A Roundup for the week ended Jan. 12, the bank giant’s purchase of Countrywide is a rare “bright spot” in a lackluster week. [CFO.com] $$$ Citigroup Plans to Cut Costs [WSJ] $$$ The New Fed Model [LoSC] $$$ Wealth and Fame [Going Private] $$$ Studying the […]

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 6:04 PM
  • Ben Stein

    Ben Stein Calls For A Wall Street Bailout

    You have to admire the mental agility of Ben Stein. A couple of weeks ago he was calling for the Justice Department to investigate Wall Street. Now he wants the government to bail them out with billions of taxpayer dollars. Oh, and it’s not morning in America anymore. Now he says the economy is slowing. […]

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 4:57 PM
  • John Thain

    Presented Without Comment

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 4:36 PM
  • Fox

    I Really Don’t Understand Why People Would Watch CNBC WhenThere’s Programming Like This Available

    The other day I was on the treadmill at the company gym, blasting the Eddie Money/Outfield/Police, audibly singing along and air-guitaring for several miles and making a conscious effort to not abide by the “30 minute time limit on cardio equipment during peak hours” rule. I was so into my own world that I couldn’t […]

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 3:57 PM
  • Merrill Lynch

    Going Old School: Thain Aims To Make Merrill More Like Merrill

    When John Thain took the helm at Merrill Lynch, there was a lot of speculation about what direction he might take the fabled brokerage house. It seemed unlikely that the former Goldman Sachs executive continue Stan O’Neal’s drive to remake Merrill in the image of Goldman. That hadn’t worked out so well. Yesterday the Financial […]

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 2:24 PM
  • CNBC

    Donald Trump Loves To Send People’s Parents On Trips, So This Could Work

    Yesterday’s Post blew the lid off of Wall Street’s best kept secret: CNBC anchor Erin Burnett’s feelings for Donald Trump. Though, by all accounts, Erin was initially aroused by The Don during his first go at bankruptcy (which showed his vulnerable side) many, many moons ago, she kept her enrapturement under wraps, for fear of […]

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 12:56 PM
  • Merrill Lynch

    Turd War: Can Thain Contain Civil War At Merrill?

    At a table near the back of the Tribeca bar the bankers from Bear Stearns and JP Morgan were laughing about the Merrill Lynch turd attack. The rumor had spread late in the evening that it wasn’t a fixed income research analyst who stomped in his own crap and spread it around the 19th floor […]

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 12:22 PM
  • Citigroup

    Business As Usual At Citi

    So much exciting stuff going down at Citi this week. Charlie “No Sleeves” Gasparino reports that on Tuesday, the bank will unveil its genius plan to write-off $24 billion and lay off 20,000 employees. Some might even be canned as early as this afternoon. Do you sense you might be in that enviable position of […]

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 10:45 AM
  • Merrill Lynch

    Merrill Lynch: Front Running?

    Merrill Lynch broker’s aren’t just crapping on their bond traders. It seems they’re crapping on the clients too. At least that possibility is what has prompted the Securities and Exchange Commission to investigate whether Merrill Lynch brokers improperly placed trades for the brokerage house’s own account ahead of client orders. SEC Looks at Merrill Trading […]

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 9:38 AM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 1.14.08

    China’s Government Could Hamper Citigroup’s Plans to Raise Capital (WSJ) The Chinese government is said to have put the breaks on a plan by the China Development Bank to invest in Citibank. It’s not clear what the issue is, or if this is just a minor delay. Perhaps they’re worried about having too much influence. […]

    / Jan 14, 2008 at 7:37 AM
  • CNBC

    Erin Burnett Is Not Dead Yet

    When Erin Burnett failed to appear on Squawk on the Street this morning and also missed Street Signs, tongues began wagging. Had the reports that the brass at CNBC were miffed at her Men’s Health article taken it’s toll on the Street Sweetie? There was speculation that she may have gone into hiding to avoid […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 5:40 PM
  • SAC Capital

    Will The Last Person At SAC Capital Advisors Please Turn Out The Lights?

    SAC suffered two high level departures today when both its president and chief financial officer announced they were departing. James Rowan, the chief financial officer, is leaving to become the chief operating officer of Ren Tech. The president, Brian Cohn has no plans. Supposedly his departure has come as a surprise to the firm. SAC […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 5:04 PM
  • Merrill Lynch

    The Only Bullshit Story That’s Totally True: More Details Emerge
    Was It The Start Of A Civil War Between Equities and Fixed Income?

    Merrill Lynch’s famous bull logo has taken on a new aspect now that nearly everyone on Wall Street knows the story about the “unfortunate accident” that led to an employees shit being spread all over the place. And we’re not talking about a CDO squared portfolio. The incident took place on the nineteenth floor of […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 4:46 PM
  • bankers

    The Fresh “Prince of Wall Street”

    So there’s this blogger who’s been toiling in obscurity until this very moment. We know you’ve never heard of him so lets take a look-see at the fruits of his digital labor. He came to our attention from his advertisements on facebook. Frankly this kid is us in a previous life. Three internships in Banking. […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 3:46 PM
  • great ideas, music

    Immaculate Collection Of Garbage

    Great news for the ninety three percent of DealBreaker readers who call themselves “serious” Madonna fans, publically or privately (don’t be ashamed of your shame, Carney’s also in the closet about this). You can now give U.K.-based Marquee Capital at least $19,000 for a minimum of ten years and hope that the Madonna memorabilia they’ve […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 3:03 PM
  • Bear Stearns, Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch

    DealBreaker’s Guide To Running Bear Stearns: Part 3
    Do It Merrill Lynch Style, Baby

    Now hear this Alan Schwartz. John Thain knows how to play this game, he studied at school of GSBS and he’s got a Ph.D. Merrill Lynch is taking a $15 billion write down. You see that, that’s called covering your ass. Analysts expected a $12 bn write down, but Thain said “No No” you have […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 2:36 PM
  • bonuses, Merrill Lynch

    Setting The Story Straight On The Merrill Bonus Rage

    Earlier this afternoon, CNBC’s Charlie Gasparino reported that some guy in Merrill Lynch’s fixed income research group had “inappropriately relieved” himself in protest of the downsizing of his bonus. Merrill has officially explained that this was simply an unfortunate accident, and then the bank turned red and scurried to the other side of the room. […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 2:16 PM
  • Washington Mutual

    DealBreaker’s Guide To Running JP Morgan-Chase-One-Chemical-Manny Hanny-WaMu-Bank

    So JPM is looking to buy a “super-regional” bank, possibly WaMu. This idea is either terrible or brilliant. Jamie Dimon is supposed to be one shrewd operator. If that’s true then WaMu may be perfect for him. “WaMu is one craptastic sorry ass cobbled together turd pie,” we were told by our computer screen as […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 1:49 PM
  • Bear Stearns

    DealBreaker’s Guide To Running Bear Stearns: Part 2

    Well its come to this. Another great Wall Street firm may go the way of the Dodo, selling itself to a hedge fund. According to the Financial Times, Bear met with both Fortress and Avenue Capital but talks fell through. All we can say is we hope they sell to Avenue. What better than to […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 11:22 AM
  • Fox

    Hot Sluts Are The One Thing Fox Business Can Do Right And They Can’t Even Do That

    And yet, despite the fact that the strippers they had on “Happy Hour” yesterday weren’t nearly as good looking as FB’s anchors, I still enjoyed the segment, for these reasons: – “Sprites and vodkas” – The strippers don’t get stools. – Cody not letting the “sales are up 98 percent” comment fly. – This exchange: […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 10:22 AM
  • Bank of America, Countrywide

    Would You Buy Countrywide?

    We’ve been talking to our sources at Bank of America (a rapidly dwindling pool of investment bankers who have begun to carry their resumes with them at all times), trying to figure out what the business rationale for buying Countrywide might be. The best answer we’ve heard is that the deal reduces Countrywide’s cost of […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 9:23 AM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 1.11.07

    Bank of America Agrees to Purchase Countrywide Financial Corp. The rumors are true. Expect a full day of discussion on this one: “The purchase will make Bank of America the nation’s largest mortgage lender and loan servicer. This is an important advancement in the company’s desire to help customers and clients meet all of their […]

    / Jan 11, 2008 at 7:31 AM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 01.10.08

    $$$$ Tobias 911 Call [Portfolio] $$$$ The Meanest Thing Gizmodo Did at CES [Gizmodo] $$$$ Deep Debt Impact [Going Private]

    / Jan 10, 2008 at 5:43 PM
  • Bear Stearns

    DealBreaker’s Guide To Running Bear Stearns: The Early Weeks

    Lots of others in the business news media want to interview Alan Schwartz, the new head of Bear Stearns. We just want to tell him what to do. They can only report. We get to decide. Look. Alan let us tell you a story. When Kruschev was forced out as Premier of the USSR, he […]

    / Jan 10, 2008 at 4:39 PM
  • mortgages, politics

    It Didn’t Start With Countrywide
    We Blame George Bush

    What a wild ride we’ve had with Countrywide today. Shares of the home lending behemoth dropped following reports this morning from the Los Angeles Times that the company was on the verge of bankruptcy. And they shot back up this afternoon as word leaked that Bank of America is in talks to buy Countrywide. (Careful […]

    / Jan 10, 2008 at 3:33 PM
  • bankers

    Bonus, claw back? More like Raghuram Rajan is on crack

    Raghuram Rajan from the Financial Times says YOU are compensated unduly. He says bogus “alpha” is created by hiding long-tail risks, as with structured products linked to subprime mortgages. He thinks the solution would be to hold in escrow a big chunk of bonuses “until the full risks play out”, meaning only true alpha gets […]

    / Jan 10, 2008 at 1:53 PM
  • CNBC

    Map To Charlie Gasparino’s Heart: CliffsNotes Edition

    We think it’s unfair that CNBC anchor Erin Burnett is allegedly taking shit from network brass for being a lover of the finer things in life. So for the rest of January, we’re going to give you 8 Ways To Impress [anchor of your choice]. Today we’ll start with Charlie Gasparino: 1. Buying me a […]

    / Jan 10, 2008 at 12:55 PM
  • CNBC

    It’s Going To Take Money, A Whole Lotta Spending Money
    Erin Burnett ‘Buy Me This’ Scandal Hits Page Six Again!

    Yesterday we started to hear whispers from inside the CNBC Global Headquarters that people were walking around whispering “snatch” and snickering. This morning the story is all over Page Six: Erin Burnett is under-fire at CNBC for admitting that she likes nice things, fancy trips and men who spend money on her. It’s one of […]

    / Jan 10, 2008 at 12:35 PM

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