I would say I’m offering up these two gems because it’s the weekend and we all deserve something special (me especially) but let’s be honest, even if you hadn’t earned it, it’d take gale force winds to stop me from sending these latest boy toys out into the universe. First up we have Gary, who is the logical extension of Tanner, in that Tanner was a towel boy and Gary loves to stand in still bodies of water. Gary is 29 and a commodities trader. Next is Monte, a 27 year old analyst who legitimately looks like a member of the Hitler Youth. Now I know I say that about a lot of people, but this time it’s true. Which is ironic, because Monte is employed by an insurer founded by Jews. Yes, it’s like Stalag 17 all over again.
Gary
Monte
Earlier: Ex Lax
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 2:27PM
Monte appears to have 3 legs.
Posted by Anonymous , Jan 25, 2008 2:31PM
The two-person Mike Darda application is still the best.
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 2:33PM
Is Monte's crotch on fire? Smoke is coming from somewhere!
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 2:36PM
Gary's birth certificate is probably an apology from the condom factory. yuck!
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 2:37PM
Gary's birth certificate is probably an apology from the condom factory.
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 2:43PM
Monte is gorgeous! Those old cougar hags are too old to appreciate a hot guy like that.
Posted by jag , Jan 25, 2008 2:43PM
WHY OH WHY IS MONTY HOLDING ONTO A DISMEMBERED FEMALE LEG?
Posted by big r , Jan 25, 2008 2:45PM
monte used to be fat and now has sagging belly overflap
good luck w that KLW
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 2:46PM
in the 1st picture, gary appears to be 2ft tall. is he one of those "devil midgets" William Unroch warned us about?
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 2:50PM
He's about to gnaw into that leg Patrick Bateman style.
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 3:04PM
great tan marcus. really impressive.
Posted by big r , Jan 25, 2008 3:05PM
@ KLW-
(1) his jacket doesnt fit him. It's as if he bought it when he was 1 size then went through a drastic weight loss. However, not the "in the gym slim down weight loss." I'm talking "Al Roker staple me shut" diet.
(2) he still has the fat face and neck
(3) is that a corona light? or a miller high life? its clearly not a mike's hard, i know that much.
Posted by GAnalYst , Jan 25, 2008 3:07PM
Monte's gay. Gary looks gay but isn't. Can't explain it, but I just know.
How can you even show us these guys after the magnificent Tanner.
Posted by nttawwt , Jan 25, 2008 3:07PM
KLW, I'm thinking Monte looks more like a passive recipient, but at least you'll get a good workout. Seriously, he looks lobotomized.
Posted by lawyer , Jan 25, 2008 3:11PM
Big r - I think it's a corona, which this cad is drinking sans lime. I mean, it's ok to slum it, but come on.
Posted by so hot , Jan 25, 2008 3:14PM
i agree w KLW and anon 2:43- monte is stunning. i may just have to go to the event and wait it out for Monte...the fact that he's calling himself Monte makes it even better (that cant be the real name, right?). "Monte", if you're reading this- lets make this happen.
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 3:15PM
BORING!
Anyone have any good Jerome Kerviel jokes?
Posted by Free Money , Jan 25, 2008 3:17PM
Gary wants YOU!.....to fit in with him.
And Monte's just a raging anti-Semite
Posted by so hot , Jan 25, 2008 3:19PM
monte seems to be a diamond in the rough- i'm a buyer....i thought there was some sort of screening process based on looks though. who is doing this screening and letting the ugly kids in? if i were a rich 45 yr old woman just looking to roll around a little with a hot younger man, you think i'd even look at Gary? YES I WOULD, but only to laugh in his face
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 3:20PM
Is it popular among the gay crowd to have sex relationships with older women for money?
Don't gays think pussy is gross?
Posted by so hot , Jan 25, 2008 3:21PM
monte seems to be a diamond in the rough- i'm a buyer....i thought there was some sort of screening process based on looks though. who is doing this screening and letting the ugly kids in? if i were a rich 45 yr old woman just looking to roll around a little with a hot younger man, you think i'd even look at Gary? YES I WOULD, but only to laugh in his face
Posted by Equity Private , Jan 25, 2008 3:29PM
Never was so much (apology) owed by so many (men) for so few (these losers).
Posted by Calgreedy , Jan 25, 2008 3:32PM
I hate to be the person who makes this request but........ COULD WE PLEASE SEE THESE GENTLEMEN WITH CRAB HANDS?
Given recent layoffs it is the least you guys could do, really
Posted by , Jan 25, 2008 3:35PM
why would they have crab hands? when they get written up in forbes for eating $800 a pound crab salads for lunch, THEN they can get crab hands.
you gotta earn it. crab hands are a privilege, not a right.
Posted by mrpink , Jan 25, 2008 3:50PM
I vote for Gary, he's the closest thing since our beloved Tanner was redacted.
The other dude.. His crotch is on fire, as someone pointed out earlier...
"Where there's smoke.........there's CRABS"
-mrp
Posted by Calgreedy , Jan 25, 2008 3:54PM
@3:35
You are right I miss-spoke (typed). I meant to ask for a Crab HAND in the singular sense, if only to tweak the nipples of the cougars/silver backs/puma they will be shagging.
Besides, with the way the market is going you could easily go from 800 crab salads to gigilo in 3000 DOW points.
Just trying to keep things in good humor.
Posted by johnny208 , Jan 25, 2008 4:09PM
That first Gary pic is obviously David Geffen back in his William Morris mailroom days...
Posted by N_R , Jan 25, 2008 4:17PM
Oh, no you di-int!
Posted by fyi , Jan 25, 2008 4:20PM
@ 3:35. Haha. Love it. Crab hands are a privilege, not a right.
Posted by rahodeb , Jan 25, 2008 4:26PM
I have to return some videotapes.
Posted by Ha , Jan 25, 2008 4:27PM
Monte has soulful eyes (no homo)
Posted by Disinterested Observer , Jan 25, 2008 4:30PM
Sigh. These photos and posts are so underwhelming. Gary should have been discouraged from posting his picture with a gentle "no" from Bess. He doesn't even look 29! I would guess him to be in his mid-thirties. The look of shy hope on his face when he's standing in the pool makes me extremely sad.
Monte doesn't look too sure of himself, either. He looks like a dullard who's been surprised by being told he's good-looking. The remark Bess made about looking like a Hitler Youth was on the money, and I find that quality cuts into the attractiveness quotient.
The last I checked, the Dow was down 174 points today. The sinking Dow and the 25,000 lay-offs in the financial sector (as one Anonymous or another tallied up in another DB post) are gigantic bummers. I could use a really good joke or a straight-up drink. Is it 5:00 pm yet?
Posted by GAnalYst , Jan 25, 2008 4:32PM
pink @3:50 This one is not even within 1 billion miles of our beloved slab of hot ivy boy beef Tanner. Plus, I'm sure he's gay. You must be having a rough day. Shape up or we'll see about sending you for that therapy that turns you into a straight person. And how awful would that be (both the therapy and being straight).
Posted by Disinterested Observer , Jan 25, 2008 4:34PM
Sigh. These photos and posts are so underwhelming. Gary should have been discouraged from posting his picture with a gentle "no" from Bess. He doesn't even look 29! I would guess him to be in his mid-thirties. The look of shy hope on his face when he's standing in the pool makes me extremely sad.
Monte doesn't look too sure of himself, either. He looks like a dullard who's been surprised by being told he's good-looking. The remark Bess made about looking like a Hitler Youth was on the money, and I find that quality cuts into the attractiveness quotient.
The last I checked, the Dow was down 174 points today. The sinking Dow and the 25,000 lay-offs in the financial sector (as one Anonymous or another tallied up in another DB post) are gigantic bummers. I could use a really good joke or a straight-up drink. Is it 5:00 pm yet?
Posted by Disinterested Observer , Jan 25, 2008 5:47PM
Sorry about the repeat posts. It was an unintentional error. I've had a drink and some crab salad and feel much better.
Posted by 36thChamber , Jan 25, 2008 9:30PM
What won't a drink and $800 of crab salad fix?
Posted by boy scout salute , Jan 26, 2008 8:14PM
they both look like members of Societe Generales
7.5 Billion Club.
Posted by wanonymous , Jan 27, 2008 12:45AM
What's the deal with the two index finger gesture Gary is sporting? That move was popularized (not) by Gopher on Love Boat. Ugh.
Posted by , Jan 27, 2008 3:19PM
anyone else's bank not run by brain-dead retards?
Posted by Hunchback of Notre Dame , Jan 28, 2008 9:43AM
I'm much more attractive, and I'm musical too....
Take me and I'll show you how a Frenchman can play hide the trades , ahem, I mean sausage.