"She needs cold and flu medicine, YESTERDAY"

Posted by Bess Levin, Jan 09, 2008, 11:53am

I have always been amused at the amazingly dense attempts by FedEx competitors to emulate the pure genius that is the essence of modern speed and efficiency. Or, it could just be that I love the old Federal Express commercials.

So, the news that DHL is planning to put a bunch of locations in Walgreens around the country, well, it just makes me laugh. Kind of loudly. Try it yourself by acting out these parts:

Somewhere in Memphis:

FedEx Executive: "So, where might you be where you suddenly need to ship a document with all speed and haste to a critical location?"
FedEx Junior Executive: "The financial printers?"
FedEx Junior Executive 2: "Your accountant's office?"
FedEx Junior Executive 3: "Your divorce attorney's office?"
FedEx Junior Executive 4: "Kinkos?"
FedEx Executive (suddenly to Junior Executive 4): "My god, that's BRILLIANT man!"

Somewhere in Bonn, Germany:

DHL Executive: "Zo, vere might vone be wann zuddenly to ship dokuments schnell need?"
DHL Junior Executive: "Zee dry kleeners?"
DHL Junior Executive 2: "Zee Bahnhof?"
FedEx Junior Executive 3: "Zee Post?"
FedEx Junior Executive 4: "Zee Apotheke?"
All in unison (suddenly to Junior Executive 4): "Ja- KLAR!"

DHL to Offer Kiosks at Walgreens In Major Expansion for Shipper [WSJ]

0Recommend this! 12Comments
Posted in: Mergers & Acquisitions

Comments

Posted by George Can'tstandya, Jan 09, 2008 11:59AM

These pretzels...are making me FIRSTY

Posted by , Jan 09, 2008 12:05PM

haha

Posted by , Jan 09, 2008 12:07PM

Hysterical! All hail FedEx!

Posted by , Jan 09, 2008 12:10PM

SIEG!

Posted by Johnny Lawrence, Jan 09, 2008 12:46PM

It works for all the ebay sellers in Cedar Rapids, IA and the like cities.

Posted by , Jan 09, 2008 1:07PM

I remember that guy he was on Saved by the Bell as Mr. Testaverde. Too funny

Posted by , Jan 09, 2008 1:54PM

Welch schrecklicher Verunglimpfung der deutschen Sprache muss ich hier Zeuge werden.

Posted by I'm a dude, Jan 09, 2008 2:14PM

@12:46 you've obviously never bought anything from ebay. no seller rushes out to ship the buyer anything. seller needs time to relax after the big auction. only after a dozen threatening emails will the seller actually get moving. to the post office. (oh, i did i say i would ship overnight? well, you got your package, what are you complaining about)

Posted by , Jan 09, 2008 5:10PM

1:54, bitte achten Sie auf stets auf Ihre schreckliche Grammatik

Posted by jag, Jan 09, 2008 6:02PM

Awesome post.

Posted by L'Emmerdeur, Jan 10, 2008 11:05AM

Must... resist... temptation... to invoke... Godwin's... Law...

Posted by , Jan 11, 2008 4:44PM

5:10, die korrekte Grammatik in ihrem Fall würde folgendermassen lauten :

"Bitte, achten sie stehts auf ihre Grammtik"

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