The campaign to demonize smoking has scored so many victories that many of us now live in occupied territory and have begun to sympathize with the captors. It’s the smoking version of Stockholm Syndrome. Where once we were outraged by smoking bans in saloons we now find ourselves enjoying the absence of the scent of burnt tobacco when we return from a night of bent elbows. Particularly in winter, when sweaters and heavy coats absorb the stench, we find ourselves wondering how we ever tolerated pre-ban pub life.

But the smokers have begun to strike back, and not a moment too soon. In Germany, a story circulated that three employees had been fired from a small telemarketing company for refusing to smoke and requesting non-smoking accommodations. Thomas Jensen (or perhaps Joschko, depending on which version of the story you read), who allegedly owns the company, goes so far as to call for revenge against the non-smokers.

"Smokers have always been our best employees. Non-smokers interfere with corporate peace," Jensen said. "Our non-smoking employees were actually convinced that they had the right to smoke-free zones. They just complained all the time about smoking, and I don't like grumblers.

"I can't be bothered with trouble-makers," Jensen is quoted saying. "We're on the phone all the time, and it's just easier to work while smoking. Everyone picks on smokers these days. It's time for revenge. I'm only going to hire smokers from now on."

Unfortunately, it turns out the story was a hoax. Thomas J has recanted and the German reporter who originally filed the story has retracted it. "He said it was a joke and worth the trouble. He said he's a chain-smoker himself and said he was tired of smokers being hassled so much," the reporter said. So the smokers have begun their revenge through media pranks. But next time it might be for real.

[Disclosure: Here at DealBreaker we've been known to smoke at our desks in defiance of health ordinances and regularly consume whiskey with our coffee. With each puff we imagine the liberty bell rings out a bit louder for freedom.]

German newspaper says hoaxed by pro-smoking crusader [Reuters]
Nagging non-smoking workers get burned [MSNBC]