We Need To Make This Thing Work. What's The Key To Making This Thing Work? NO. MORE. ACRONYMS. If I See Or Hear One Person Not Spelling/Saying The Whole Word Out, I Will Go Carnival-Freak Crazy On Your Ass. I Mean It, I'll Scratch Your Eyes Out.

Posted by Bess Levin, Jan 17, 2008, 12:01pm

We are renaming our business Global Banking and Markets, effective immediately. The name Corporate, Investment Banking and Markets will be demised. There will be a series of communications over the next few weeks outlining guidelines for implementing the name change across electronic and print documents, etc.

The name change to Global Banking and Markets does not signal a change in strategy -- we've already changed our strategy. We launched our emerging markets-led and financing-focused strategy in the fourth quarter of 2006 and completed implementation over the course of 2007. Renaming ourselves Global Banking and Markets marks the end of the implementation of the change to our strategy.

When we introduced our new strategy more than a year ago we promised to be clearer about who we are and what we do. We committed to do a better job of explaining our business to our shareholders, colleagues and clients. Our new name is straightforward and direct and aligns with how the business is organised. We have been preparing for this name change for some time. For example, we stopped using the CIBM name in our advertising in mid-2007.

Please do not shorten Global Banking and Markets to GBM. We need to stop bombarding clients with HSBC acronyms and abbreviations.

Separately, Group Investment Businesses is changing its name to HSBC Global Asset Management. Mark McCombe will send out a note explaining that change in more detail but it is in the same spirit as the change to Global Banking and Markets.

Some of you will remember that Global Markets was called Treasury and Capital Markets for many years. The change from TCM to Global Markets was a success. I'm sure the same will be true of the change from CIBM to Global Banking and Markets.


Stuart Gulliver
Chief Executive
Global Banking and Markets

0Recommend this! 39Comments
Posted in: HSBC

Comments

1

Posted by mrpink , Jan 17, 2008 12:09PM

GBM.. There, I said it.

GBM.

GBM

G fucking BM. :)

2

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 12:13PM

That is fucking amazing. (TIFA for short). Ridiculous e-mail.

3

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 12:15PM

god he's a winner

4

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 12:36PM

With so much time spent on memos like that, it's amazing they have any time to make money. Oh wait...

5

Posted by Brett , Jan 17, 2008 12:40PM

I drive a Dodge Stratus!!

6

Posted by STUART CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER , Jan 17, 2008 12:44PM

should read: Please do not shorten Global Banking and Markets to GBM. We need to stop bombarding clients with HONKONG SHANGHAI BANKING CORPORATION acronyms and abbreviations.

7

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 12:46PM

haha i'm pretty sure HSBC was an official name change.

Bess was the emphasis added by DB editorial staff or is that actually in the email?

8

Posted by ksql , Jan 17, 2008 12:49PM

It is like a bad Dilbert cartoon

9

Posted by joe , Jan 17, 2008 12:55PM

all dilbert cartoons are bad

10

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 12:56PM

ROWYCO / JOWYCO

11

Posted by Chris , Jan 17, 2008 1:02PM

"... will be demised." Christ, write in English, or at least some Hong Kongish / Shangaish version of it.

12

Posted by anonymous , Jan 17, 2008 1:03PM

another winner...

"The name change to Global Banking and Markets does not signal a change in strategy -- we've already changed our strategy."

It is a good think they are reminding people of the change of strategy, b/c no one obviously noticed.

13

Posted by Phil Seltzer , Jan 17, 2008 1:09PM

BS

14

Posted by Anal_yst , Jan 17, 2008 1:12PM

Is this the same "change in strategy" where they stop trying to hire rainmakers with huge salaries/guaranteed bonuses and then cry when they leave after their 2-3 year contracts are up?

15

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 1:22PM

WWJD

16

Posted by mrpink , Jan 17, 2008 1:24PM

So who's going to buy BL some MHL so she can be VH and DOOHM because she drank too much of the MHL?

-Mr Pink
G.B.M.

17

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 1:25PM

Fairly certain HSBC is an acronym for hot sauce & bleu cheese

18

Posted by Chris G. , Jan 17, 2008 1:27PM

Perhaps they can rename the division "We're here to make money", in order to make their mission more clear to both customers and employees.

Reminds me of the time UBS did the same thing and called itself an Investment Bank. Pens, foam balls and other useless schwag were handed out.

19

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 1:30PM

Mr. Pink,
Your post should say:
SWIGTBBLSMHLSSCBVHADOOHMBSDTMOTMHL?

20

Posted by the Observer , Jan 17, 2008 1:30PM

Any thing with a "BM" in it is not real good planning.

21

Posted by chad , Jan 17, 2008 1:39PM

i heard the email had a picture of him flexing under it. Just what i heard.

22

Posted by Kman , Jan 17, 2008 2:10PM

The first rule of GBM is, you do not TALK about GBM. The second rule of GBM is, you DO NOT TALK about GBM.

23

Posted by Lager , Jan 17, 2008 2:13PM

I'm sure this will avert the collapsing share price! Good work Stuart!

24

Posted by gab , Jan 17, 2008 2:16PM

I heard the guy at Merrill had a GBM, and then tracked it all over the office....

25

Posted by capital infusion , Jan 17, 2008 2:34PM

i liked cibm better. it sounds more like icbm, inter-continential ballistic missle... i gues they dont want to blow their customers away no more

26

Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Jan 17, 2008 2:37PM

ARS of the NYT wants BQ from CNBC to give him a BJ on the QT.

27

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 3:09PM

omg lol

28

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 3:10PM

omg lol

29

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 3:11PM

omg lol

30

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 4:03PM

Now the industry is replete with GBMs, GWMs (Global Wealth Management - most of the banks have a division by that name) and lately, SWFs. What is this, the personals?

31

Posted by New HSBC Banker , Jan 17, 2008 5:07PM

There are so many more acronyms at HSBC than this. They were forced down our throats at training this past summer during my internship. But really, why all the trash talk Anon 12:36? I bet they're making more money than the garbage shop you work for....

32

Posted by , Jan 17, 2008 5:32PM

HSBC is not an investment bank

33

Posted by New HSBC Banker , Jan 17, 2008 6:08PM

You make me laugh

34

Posted by Anal_yst , Jan 18, 2008 12:15AM

complete the Analogy -

HSBC:Investment Bank::Bess Levin:________

35

Posted by , Jan 18, 2008 12:19AM

no idea. what's the answer, anal_yst?

36

Posted by eddy , Jan 18, 2008 12:56AM

I used to work at HSBC.

I could tell from the first sentence - this is an HSBC memo.

It's a strange place. My impression was that everybody above a certain level was an alcoholic, with the level of dependency accelerating with rank.

37

Posted by Disinterested Observer , Jan 18, 2008 1:45AM

Thanks for posting the memo. I thought it was a clever piece of satirical writing until Bess pointed out in her commentary that it was actually written by HSBC. Best thing today.

38

Posted by Holly Golightly , Jan 18, 2008 5:32AM

OMG!! This has made my day!!!

39

Posted by guest , Feb 23, 2009 11:59AM

GBM, Giant Bowel Movement

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