From the e-mail bag:

“…equity sales received 20% of their expected commissions for 4q07,
everyone super-pissed and polishing CVs. Also, people with guarantees who were laid off received only $5k due to an out clause in the employment contracts.”

*Apparently a gaggle of conspiracy theorists take pains to label Bank of America “BoA” (rather than B of A) because of the reptilian connotation associated with the former. It seems there is even an official policy on the proper acronymizing of the winding, carnivorous, cold-blooded financial institution. I guess certain higher-ups at the Bank absolutely fly off the handle if you provoke them this way. Since we are endlessly amused by the idea that the senior management can be distracted from returning to profitability this way, won’t you join us in adding “BoA” to your iPhone auto-correct for “B of A” and “Bank of America”? (Right after you join us in shorting their stock.) K? K.

Comments (30)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 3:53 PM

    suck to be BoA

  2. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 3:54 PM

    not sure equity sales are ever considered “bankers” bulge bracket or otherwise, but still i’m in.
    so they got 100% of 1q-3q? so they got what 80% of their expected bonus? are they aware that the company had -30% earnings growth this year? consider themselves lucky.

  3. Posted by AJ | February 5, 2008 at 3:55 PM

    I’ve also seen BofA guys get pissy when you don’t use the spaces in B_of_A. Plus I like pronouncing it BO-Faa (think Bo Jackson + Do-Re-Mi-Fa). They hate Bofa.

  4. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 3:56 PM

    @3:54, i think the ‘barely’ was for ‘bulge bracket’ and ‘bankers’ but it would be strange to say ‘barely bulge bracket barely bankers’, you know?

  5. Posted by Flashdancers | February 5, 2008 at 3:58 PM

    Even BoA bankers use the BoA acronym. I worked with a few formers that lateralled over. They already announced cutting back on IBD, what better way than to screw everyone on bonuses so they quit? No severance packages here!

  6. Posted by TH | February 5, 2008 at 4:16 PM

    “.. the winding, carnivorous, cold-blooded financial institution”
    Looping its muscular coils around the hapless CFC, its massive jaws unhinge as it prepares to swallow the mortage lender whole. But wait! Will its meal be challenged by another predator? Stay tuned…

  7. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 4:16 PM

    why not just barely bulge bracket salesmen then

  8. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 4:17 PM

    after all “barely bankers” would mean that they are in fact bankers, which they clearly are not

  9. Posted by brian24 | February 5, 2008 at 4:19 PM

    I had a friend who worked at Bank of NY. She said that muckity-mucks there would get similarly exercised if anybody referred to the place as “BoNY.” Which of course made me use it whenever I met her and her co-workers for drinks.

  10. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    TH – your comment reminds me of the Youtube video showing a snake that ate an alligator that burst its stomach. Mutual desctruction at its finest

  11. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 4:42 PM

    Can the banks really get out of paying the guarantees?
    How do they do that?
    Is there a way to protect against that?

  12. Posted by inIT4the$ | February 5, 2008 at 4:47 PM

    BoA Equity Sales = Equities in Dallas = haha!

  13. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 4:55 PM

    @4:42 its called have an iron-clad contract

  14. Posted by John Bogle | February 5, 2008 at 5:02 PM

    Now they can become tellers. After all, is there really much difference in tellers and most people on Wall Street. Good with numbers, show up on time, be nice to the customer, do what your boss sez. It all involves counting money!

  15. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 5:06 PM

    CNN: Huckabee scores first Super Tuesday win
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Carney, you really should include everyone in the poll next time!!!

  16. Posted by Anal_yst | February 5, 2008 at 5:07 PM

    Or equities in Charlotte as it were?

  17. Posted by daveNYC | February 5, 2008 at 5:09 PM

    TH – your comment reminds me of the Youtube video showing a snake that ate an alligator that burst its stomach. Mutual desctruction at its finest.
    Really? It makes me think of Bess’ soppresata story.

  18. Posted by fixed income PM | February 5, 2008 at 5:13 PM

    Let me pose a q here. Please spare me a snarky response. Just what is it that equities people are selling now at places like BofA? Issuance has dried up and prospects for the near term are not looking good. For the BB players that means a slowdown. For the second tier, it has to be beyond slow. Like on-line solitaire all day. Educate me please.

  19. Posted by Anonymous | February 5, 2008 at 5:14 PM

    Hey Carney and crew….how about a post regarding ASF 2008 and the rumblings going on from there?

  20. Posted by gab | February 5, 2008 at 5:17 PM

    It wasn’t just equities. Fixed-income got hosed as well.

  21. Posted by Tonto | February 5, 2008 at 5:31 PM

    BofA no have equity desk in Char or dallas.

  22. Posted by mrpink | February 5, 2008 at 5:42 PM

    I was boa’d, but I am not even at BoA.
    -mrp

  23. Posted by mrpink | February 5, 2008 at 5:45 PM

    Speaking of which, anyone want any CDO’s? Got a boatload of em for sale, fire-sale prices.
    Maybe I could trade the CDO for sex? Hmm.
    Or, I could pull a Merrill and smear shit all over the wall. Hmm.
    -mrp
    (ok, my ranting is over. Promise.)

  24. Posted by Master of None | February 5, 2008 at 6:38 PM

    @fixed income PM who wants to know what equity sales is selling
    Answer: Corporate credit. Didn’t you know it’s the “new” equity?

  25. Posted by Anonymous | February 6, 2008 at 8:58 AM

    @fixed income PM:
    They’re ultimately selling research, whether they get paid through executing trades or just collecting a check, it’s research sales. I’m still wondering what was meant by getting paid 20% of their 4th quarter expected commissions. Does it mean they were paid out at a 20% rate or only 20% of whatever their typical payout had been?

  26. Posted by 1-2 | February 6, 2008 at 10:44 AM

    Not sure if anyone touched on this–and I love ripping on BoA as much as anyone–but i believe the BoA designation has to deal with our old friend, The Banking Act (which one i forget). Since the IBK is not a “bank” (i.e. retail style) by the act’s definition they can’t use the word in their name. BoA’s IBK is Banc of America Securities (notice the “c” and no “k”) It’s the same with KeyBanc.
    Just thought i’d throw that out there in case anyone cared.
    Loved the headline though.

  27. Posted by Anonymous | February 6, 2008 at 11:03 AM

    For the record, Bof(O)A paid out 10% of 2006 bonus $$$ (for 2007) to all those who were laid off in mid-January (the umpteenth round of bloodletting in the investment bank) – the dreaded “650″ that was widely reported – quite unfair, especially for those who had solid production years.

  28. Posted by Banned at BOA | February 6, 2008 at 11:54 AM

    Concur with 11:03. Work all year and 10% of ’06. Hearing stories of “zeros” as well for those who weren’t fortunate enough to be sent packing.

  29. Posted by $ | February 6, 2008 at 1:24 PM

    Yes, dont work at crappy commercial banks wannabe IB’s…..
    Heavy hitters go there with custom made guarantees written up by high priced comp lawyers…..for generic 2-3yr before calling it quits
    —————–
    Can the banks really get out of paying the guarantees?
    How do they do that?
    Is there a way to protect against that?
    Posted by: Anonymous | February 5, 2008 04:42 PM

  30. Posted by x boa | February 11, 2008 at 10:57 AM

    x trader, laid off BOA along w/ 649 others in Jan, $0 bonus.

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