Well everyone, it’s finally happened—Gary Coleman lost his virginity. The lucky woman was Shannon Price, who not only won the first aforementioned prize, but the second as well, which was Gar’s hand in marriage (third prize is a night with Dana Plato). The whole thing happened back in August but was just made public yesterday, when the nuptial photographs were released. The Post notes that though the differentials are staggering—18 years and 11 inches—Price says her husband’s “sweet[ness]” makes him “10 feet tall,” in her eyes. I know what you’re thinking and my answer is this—who cares that there’s no business angle (or one that we can come up with, though I’m sure FBN and Jim Cramer’s US Weekly will shortly). This is our happy story of the day, except for the part about G to the C possibly being an abusive husband (“He lets his anger conquer him sometimes," Price admitted. "He throws things around, and sometimes he throws it in my direction.") which we’re going to just chalk up to an effort on G's part to no get too tall (in her eyes) for the door frame, or demons associated with the time he and Dudley almost got molested by the bicycle store owner who said, 'Let's play Tarzan.'
'Strokes' Star Secretly Wed [NYP]
Posted by ab , Feb 13, 2008 1:06PM
Um...a night with Dana Plato might not be so great, seeing how she committed suicide 8 years ago.
Posted by , Feb 13, 2008 1:08PM
@ ab...thanks for spelling out the joke.
Posted by Lee D , Feb 13, 2008 1:10PM
WIDE OPEN opportunity to say that Gary's starting his own fund, and he's a short seller, but you didn't.
Posted by Lee D is an idiot , Feb 13, 2008 1:11PM
wide open opportunity to make a stupid joke, obvious joke, but she didn't.
Posted by , Feb 13, 2008 1:12PM
He's just a typical hedge fund. He's both long and short.
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 13, 2008 1:17PM
"...C to the G..."
Was that an intentional possible double entendre or whatnot?
Posted by Yo! , Feb 13, 2008 1:24PM
OK, it was a stretch to link this in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit bit yesterday, but it just feels right here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=513820&in_page_id=1811
(Where can I get one?)
Posted by , Feb 13, 2008 1:26PM
Any post about Gary that doesn't include the phrase "What cho talkin' 'bout Willis?" is lacking. A solid B- post saved only by the reference to the 'extra-special' episode.
Posted by Anal_yst , Feb 13, 2008 1:30PM
@ Yo: that sh!t is f'in freaky, that lil 1/2 pint scares the sh!t out of me!
Posted by , Feb 13, 2008 1:32PM
How bout a pic of that cougar Charlotte Rae??
Posted by , Feb 13, 2008 1:39PM
@ 1:26- she used that phrase yesterday.
Posted by HAM'05 , Feb 13, 2008 1:52PM
i wonder how big the little guys member is
in doing some research i found: The blue-billed duck (Oxyura australis) is just a little fellow — he weighs less than one kilogram (two pounds) — but his penis measures 28.5 centimeters (11 inches), and it’s covered with knobs.
rest of the article, plus other gems here:http://judson.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/12/a-tyrannical-romance/index.html
Posted by The Forehead Slapper , Feb 13, 2008 2:04PM
You say that whipped cream can actually be used on food, too?
Posted by , Feb 13, 2008 2:59PM
you people are pathetic
Posted by Nominate me , Feb 13, 2008 3:05PM
"...and it’s covered with knobs."
DB readers are having horrible college flashbacks.
Posted by , Feb 13, 2008 3:32PM
I usually find this Web site pretty entertaining. But if the Dana Plato line really was a joke and not just a ridiculous oversight (which would be pretty hard to believe with the link) it wasn't very funny. Cheap shots at people who've commited suicide generally aren't.
Posted by , Feb 13, 2008 3:51PM
I think suicide is an excellent idea for many of the posters on this site
Posted by Cincinnatus_C , Feb 13, 2008 4:04PM
so has 1-2 stuck it to girl yet?
someone fill me in...